Thanksgiving in the 90s with IC

[00:00:33] It's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I want you to play a game with me, okay?

[00:00:42] I'm sitting at the back of an old diner and there's people smoking in the diner like it's ages ago, but it's today.

[00:00:57] And the waitresses are older and, you know, middle-aged. Let's go with that. Middle-aged.

[00:01:05] The place is a little dingy, a little dirty, a little messy, a little stained, a little yellow, you know what I mean?

[00:01:14] A little nicotine. Coffee mugs are a little dirty. The glasses are a little foggy.

[00:01:20] There's dots and specks on the silverware.

[00:01:27] And you come to my table, you sit down across from me at the diner, and I'm sitting there with a black coffee, of course.

[00:01:38] Gotta have the black coffee.

[00:01:42] And you sit down and I tell you, you know, it's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

[00:01:50] And I want to tell you about what it was like in my family.

[00:01:59] Now, one of the strangest things about Thanksgiving in my family is it's impossible.

[00:02:05] It's impossible.

[00:02:07] So the thing you have to understand about growing apart, it's different from growing into the ground, which the majority of my cousins have done.

[00:02:18] The Thanksgiving that we had, as magical and wild as it was, could never happen again.

[00:02:26] Because half of the people who attended are dead.

[00:02:35] Well, even more, when you start talking about old age, your grandparents are gone, you know.

[00:02:40] But it's astounding to me that even if we sought to gather together and reflect on the, you know, reminisce on sort of the nostalgic feels,

[00:02:50] that it would be, you know, impossible.

[00:02:55] I'd have to go from headstone to headstone to have that kind of a conversation.

[00:02:59] And I could never expect any, uh, any reply.

[00:03:07] Because that's the course of life of mortal men, right?

[00:03:11] Now, to set the scene, I have to talk to you about 6 West 8th Street.

[00:03:20] Now, there's a million things going on in the world right now.

[00:03:23] Now, there's a million things we could be doing on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

[00:03:27] I want to do this.

[00:03:30] This is what I want to do.

[00:03:32] And I've been doing what I want to do ever since I started this show.

[00:03:36] And there's no reason to change it now.

[00:03:39] Just for Vladimir Putin.

[00:03:44] So the day starts in a row home.

[00:03:47] 6 West 8th Street, a tiny little bedroom.

[00:03:51] Four bedrooms in the house.

[00:03:55] Somehow we could fit a four-bedroom home in a row home.

[00:03:59] Somehow we could fit a family in a row home.

[00:04:01] Somehow we could have a life.

[00:04:02] Somehow a marriage could last in a row home.

[00:04:06] The things my parents lived through with each other.

[00:04:09] Oh my God.

[00:04:10] You know, you tell me you're getting divorced because, uh, you know, he's, he, he, he doesn't buy you the house you want.

[00:04:17] Or you're getting divorced because you put on a few pounds.

[00:04:20] It's like, I think about my own parents.

[00:04:24] I don't know if it's good or not, to be honest with you.

[00:04:27] I look at them, I'm not sure.

[00:04:29] But I can tell you this much, you know.

[00:04:33] They've lived through nuclear war from the marital sense of it all, right?

[00:04:38] And stayed together through thick and thin.

[00:04:40] You know, they took till death do us part.

[00:04:43] And they, they didn't tattoo it on their flesh.

[00:04:46] They carved it in there.

[00:04:50] They sewed the aortas together.

[00:04:52] You know what I mean?

[00:04:53] And it's, for, for good and bad, you know.

[00:04:56] It's just through sickness and in health.

[00:04:58] And through alcoholism and depression and drug addiction.

[00:05:04] But the story starts out in a little row home like that where a family, I'm assuming, is relatively happy.

[00:05:10] I don't remember being depressed.

[00:05:11] I don't remember being upset, sad, miserable that much.

[00:05:16] You know what I mean?

[00:05:17] I remember times when I was sad as a kid, not getting my way, not getting what I wanted.

[00:05:22] But I don't remember looking at life on a whole as a bad thing.

[00:05:26] In fact, the days were basically carved up by playing with action figures, playing with my friends outside, and playing video games.

[00:05:38] Pausing only for meals.

[00:05:41] And, uh, yeah.

[00:05:43] And then the cycle.

[00:05:45] The cycle of summer.

[00:05:46] Of course, if it was school, then, you know, the cycle of school.

[00:05:50] But, but the story starts here.

[00:05:55] And I wake up and, and, you know, incredibly excited about the day to come.

[00:06:01] In pajamas.

[00:06:02] Probably some Ninja Turtle pajamas or something like that.

[00:06:05] This little house.

[00:06:06] Football curtains on the window.

[00:06:08] A little television in my room.

[00:06:13] The, the women of my house, they slept in.

[00:06:16] They liked to sleep in.

[00:06:17] You know, they'd stay, stay in bed a while.

[00:06:20] Even on the holidays.

[00:06:21] No big deal.

[00:06:22] It was fine.

[00:06:23] Christmas, everybody was up, but.

[00:06:26] I really can't remember what time we'd wind up at my grandmother's house.

[00:06:31] But all the festivities took place at Mammals.

[00:06:34] Right?

[00:06:36] And she was a short hop, skip, and a jump away.

[00:06:39] We probably never even should have driven.

[00:06:42] We drove there, I think.

[00:06:44] And we literally were like, uh, I don't know, like three blocks.

[00:06:48] I don't know if we drove or if we walked.

[00:06:50] We should have walked.

[00:06:52] Chances are we drove.

[00:06:55] Because we literally, we could walk through the process and be there in less than five minutes.

[00:07:01] So maybe we did walk.

[00:07:02] It's hard to remember.

[00:07:05] But when we arrived, well, maybe we should talk about the house.

[00:07:13] Because the house was set on one side of the street and the opposite side of the street was an oil refinery.

[00:07:19] And it was a small pack of row homes.

[00:07:22] I think it was four in total.

[00:07:24] And there was something like, uh, some other house next to those row homes that were connected.

[00:07:34] And my grandmother lived at the end of the four row homes.

[00:07:38] Which was also next to a house on the corner.

[00:07:42] And these houses were like shotgun style.

[00:07:44] You know what I mean?

[00:07:45] They, everything moved from the front to the back.

[00:07:48] And they were like longish houses.

[00:07:51] Tiny!

[00:07:51] Once again.

[00:07:52] You know what I mean?

[00:07:53] From today's standards.

[00:07:54] Right?

[00:07:54] Like, I feel like the average woman, if she woke up, um, married with children in one of these houses.

[00:08:03] She'd like, start cutting.

[00:08:06] You know what I mean?

[00:08:07] God.

[00:08:09] You know what I'm saying?

[00:08:10] Like, that level of depressiveness would come over her.

[00:08:14] You know?

[00:08:14] It didn't matter if the family was healthy or happy.

[00:08:16] This is the day of gratitude, PBN family.

[00:08:19] And I started thinking about gratitude.

[00:08:21] Gratitude.

[00:08:22] There's a lot of people who talk a lot of shit about gratitude.

[00:08:25] There's a lot of America haters that tell you they talk, that they are grateful.

[00:08:30] And they have a lot of gratitude.

[00:08:32] And I was wondering the other day.

[00:08:34] Because I am a very grateful person, man.

[00:08:36] I'm intentionally grateful.

[00:08:39] And I was thinking to myself, how the hell could you be grateful and not, and hate this country?

[00:08:46] Like, how does that, how do those two things go hand in hand?

[00:08:49] Like, how can you say, God, I'm so grateful for everything I have, the opportunities I've had, you know, the chance to be here on this planet.

[00:08:57] How do you not wind up saying, God, I'm so grateful I'm in the greatest nation on earth.

[00:09:03] I'm driving in a new car, on a new phone, with nice clothes and access to everything I could want.

[00:09:09] And even if I fall off the horse and get addicted to fentanyl, they'll still take care of me.

[00:09:14] Right?

[00:09:15] Like, how?

[00:09:17] There's police I can call on.

[00:09:19] The trend de Arguagua is not that bad yet.

[00:09:22] But, the trend de Arabita isn't that bad.

[00:09:31] Listen, it's a beautiful time to be alive.

[00:09:34] Okay?

[00:09:36] Gratitude is the easy part.

[00:09:39] And that's what Thanksgiving's all about.

[00:09:41] You know what I mean?

[00:09:42] I didn't know it at that age.

[00:09:43] What the hell did I know?

[00:09:44] I'm talking seven, eight.

[00:09:46] You know what I mean?

[00:09:46] I think I was about done with my family after about eight, nine.

[00:09:49] I don't remember.

[00:09:50] But I know there came a time we didn't go over anymore.

[00:09:56] Now, my grandmother had these crazy bushes outside.

[00:10:03] These weird sloping front yard rocks.

[00:10:06] Like a rock sort of staircase that you went up to get to the house.

[00:10:11] It sounds majestic.

[00:10:13] It was small.

[00:10:14] But it was fun for kids.

[00:10:15] You know what I mean?

[00:10:16] Front porch.

[00:10:18] You know, that led into the house.

[00:10:21] And they had a big screen back in the day.

[00:10:23] A big screen back in 92-ish.

[00:10:25] 95, 94.

[00:10:27] Something like that.

[00:10:29] And the big screen was like one of those ones that was a massive cabinet.

[00:10:33] You know what I mean?

[00:10:33] It was like a...

[00:10:35] It was massive.

[00:10:36] You know, it probably took three grown men to get it in the house.

[00:10:39] Something like that.

[00:10:40] But it was a big screen.

[00:10:42] You know what I mean?

[00:10:42] Wow, look at it.

[00:10:43] It's huge.

[00:10:44] Our little TV.

[00:10:45] At home.

[00:10:48] But when you cross the threshold on Thanksgiving,

[00:10:50] it wasn't the big screen television that caught your attention.

[00:10:52] It was the picnic tables.

[00:10:55] I don't know when the picnic tables arrived.

[00:10:57] I was never part of it.

[00:10:58] All I knew is that when I walked through my grandmother's front door,

[00:11:03] the living room would be dominated by two side-by-side picnic tables.

[00:11:07] I don't know who came up with this.

[00:11:09] I don't know if this was tradition elsewhere.

[00:11:11] I have no clue.

[00:11:12] But what I know is that Thanksgiving at Mammals meant two picnic tables side-by-side,

[00:11:17] covered in tablecloths.

[00:11:21] And...

[00:11:21] Somehow everyone fit.

[00:11:24] Somehow the grandparents fit.

[00:11:28] Five children.

[00:11:31] And eight grandchildren.

[00:11:34] And even great-grandchildren.

[00:11:37] Fit.

[00:11:40] Amazing when you think about it.

[00:11:42] Right?

[00:11:43] Amazing.

[00:11:43] Like I said,

[00:11:44] you look at the modern couple.

[00:11:47] The modern couple walks into a 2,000 square foot house.

[00:11:53] And they look around and look at the kitchen.

[00:11:55] And what am I going to do in this tiny little kitchen, honey?

[00:11:57] They don't cook.

[00:11:58] You know what I mean?

[00:11:59] It's not like...

[00:12:00] They all say the same thing.

[00:12:02] I watch the shows with my wife.

[00:12:03] They all say the same thing, right?

[00:12:04] We love to entertain.

[00:12:06] Oh.

[00:12:07] Do you now?

[00:12:08] What?

[00:12:09] Tell me about this entertainment.

[00:12:12] Tell me about the entertaining that...

[00:12:13] Oh, we're going to entertain in here.

[00:12:15] We've got this nice big island with 12 seats.

[00:12:18] Because we have one kid.

[00:12:19] And there's two of us in one...

[00:12:22] And he's away on business most of the time...

[00:12:24] To afford this gigantic house.

[00:12:27] But we're going to entertain.

[00:12:28] We love to entertain.

[00:12:29] We love to have people over.

[00:12:31] So long as they're not Trump voters.

[00:12:33] We love to have people over.

[00:12:36] I work for FEMA.

[00:12:37] I'm just kidding.

[00:12:42] So we'd all pile into this little living room.

[00:12:44] There's a Christmas tree up on top of it.

[00:12:46] There's a Christmas tree up.

[00:12:47] At one side.

[00:12:49] A gumball machine where the staircase leads down.

[00:12:52] A big screen television.

[00:12:54] A table where they put puzzles together.

[00:12:57] A couch behind it all.

[00:13:00] Right?

[00:13:02] All of this in the living room.

[00:13:04] Right?

[00:13:04] And the creepiest pictures of clowns you ever saw in your whole life.

[00:13:07] The homeless clowns.

[00:13:09] My grandmother was in love with clowns.

[00:13:12] It's amazing to me that someone could fall in love with clowns.

[00:13:15] At my age, I look back on it.

[00:13:16] I don't even understand how it could be.

[00:13:18] It's not because I'm ruined by Stephen King or something like that.

[00:13:24] Right?

[00:13:24] It's just maybe one of the creepiest things of all.

[00:13:27] I don't know.

[00:13:29] Really weird.

[00:13:30] Really, really weird.

[00:13:32] You know, maybe there was a time when they were in something different.

[00:13:35] Or maybe she was tethered to a wonderful moment with a clown.

[00:13:38] I don't know what it was.

[00:13:39] It was Bozo age.

[00:13:41] You know what I mean?

[00:13:42] I don't even know if you guys remember Bozo.

[00:13:45] But anyhow.

[00:13:49] Kitchen was tiny.

[00:13:50] Okay?

[00:13:51] The food that came out of the kitchen you couldn't even believe.

[00:13:54] You'd get to the house and there was already food on the table.

[00:13:59] Platters laid out.

[00:14:01] Pickles and gherkins and veggie trays, fruit trays, cinnamon dips, ranch dips.

[00:14:09] What's it called?

[00:14:13] Finger salad.

[00:14:14] You ever had a finger salad?

[00:14:16] Have you ever had a finger salad before?

[00:14:18] We would eat finger salad at every party.

[00:14:21] It was absolutely delicious.

[00:14:23] Wonderful.

[00:14:23] Cream cheese on some kind of like a...

[00:14:27] Almost like...

[00:14:28] I don't know what they used.

[00:14:29] But it was almost like a...

[00:14:32] What's the thing?

[00:14:33] Focaccia.

[00:14:33] It's like a thin focaccia covered in cream cheese and maybe some ranch or herbs or something.

[00:14:39] I don't know what the hell it was.

[00:14:40] And then they just chopped up vegetables real small all over.

[00:14:44] Broccoli, carrot, little onion.

[00:14:46] You know what I mean?

[00:14:47] Everything was cut up on this finger salad and they cut it into squares.

[00:14:50] You'd eat it.

[00:14:51] A square at a time.

[00:14:53] Delicious!

[00:14:54] And the table would be filled with this stuff and you'd snack a little bit and your mom would yell at you.

[00:14:58] Yeah, man.

[00:14:59] The meal's coming.

[00:15:00] She knew you had to eat big in front of grandma.

[00:15:02] You know what I mean?

[00:15:04] And she didn't...

[00:15:05] You didn't have...

[00:15:05] You didn't have...

[00:15:06] Like my kids, you know what I mean?

[00:15:08] My kids don't even hardly eat Thanksgiving.

[00:15:10] They don't sit around a table and scarf like we did.

[00:15:14] And it wasn't that we were starving or anything like that.

[00:15:16] It was just everybody else was doing it.

[00:15:18] So we were like pressured into it.

[00:15:19] You know what I mean?

[00:15:19] My kids are playing Madden with their uncle and they're like eating a piece of turkey, a duck off a plate, whatever that.

[00:15:27] You know, I'm out there stuffing my...

[00:15:29] Nowadays I eat the whole day because I'm cooking.

[00:15:33] But anyway, back to it.

[00:15:35] So, you know, before long everybody starts mulling and we're moving in and the whole crew's there and the kids were running around the house.

[00:15:44] We go upstairs and play in the clown room.

[00:15:46] Yeah, she had a whole room of clown shit.

[00:15:48] And we play in the clown room until something thumps too loud.

[00:15:51] Then she yells or mom yells or, you know, an aunt yells.

[00:15:54] Come down here and stop it.

[00:15:56] We go downstairs, go out back, play under the...

[00:16:00] I remember we used to play this game.

[00:16:01] I used to love it.

[00:16:03] It was such a fun game.

[00:16:04] I have no clue why.

[00:16:06] It was like my life was calling me from the future.

[00:16:10] But we used to play this like Indian game, my cousin and me.

[00:16:13] And my cousin Lauren and I, we would sit under the deck.

[00:16:17] And we would grab these pieces of brick.

[00:16:20] And the brick was all busted up.

[00:16:21] And I'd look at it and I'd say, you know what this is?

[00:16:23] This is deer meat.

[00:16:24] So I'm going to gather up this deer meat.

[00:16:26] And we're going to make a fire, okay?

[00:16:29] And we'll...

[00:16:30] You know, it was resource management somehow.

[00:16:32] I don't know what it was.

[00:16:34] We didn't actually make a fire, obviously.

[00:16:36] But we would gather up sticks and pretend we had a fire.

[00:16:38] And I'd stack up the deer meat.

[00:16:40] And we would be like an Indian tribe.

[00:16:42] You know what I mean?

[00:16:42] And we would be...

[00:16:43] I don't know.

[00:16:44] I remember getting giddy about it.

[00:16:46] I remember being like, this is great.

[00:16:48] Love this.

[00:16:51] How did I know?

[00:16:52] Right?

[00:16:53] So...

[00:16:55] Eventually everyone's called inside.

[00:16:57] You know what I mean?

[00:16:59] There's beer drinking.

[00:17:00] You know, this is 1990s.

[00:17:02] The men came to eat.

[00:17:03] They did nothing but eat.

[00:17:04] You know what I mean?

[00:17:04] There was no changing diapers.

[00:17:06] There was none of this shit.

[00:17:07] There was...

[00:17:08] It was...

[00:17:08] The men were there to eat and drink beer and watch football.

[00:17:11] And that's exactly what they did.

[00:17:12] They talked.

[00:17:13] They laughed.

[00:17:13] Hey, Red.

[00:17:14] What's going on?

[00:17:15] Yeah, what are you doing?

[00:17:16] You know what I mean?

[00:17:17] They called...

[00:17:18] We called our grandfather Boppy.

[00:17:20] My father would walk in the door and call him Red.

[00:17:23] And I'm looking at the situation like, what is...

[00:17:26] What the hell's going on here?

[00:17:28] So...

[00:17:31] You know, I don't know how it all went down.

[00:17:33] The conversations and all that kind of stuff.

[00:17:35] I was oblivious to, I remember crawling underneath the picnic tables when we shouldn't be and

[00:17:40] getting yelled at for that.

[00:17:41] But eventually, we'd all sit around the table and we'd all eat.

[00:17:44] And we'd joke, you know, my family is funny.

[00:17:47] They were always funny.

[00:17:48] They were evil.

[00:17:48] But they were funny too.

[00:17:50] You know what I mean?

[00:17:51] And that was the fun part.

[00:17:53] You know, we'd pass...

[00:17:54] Jim, pass me the corn.

[00:17:56] Hand up the...

[00:17:57] What do you want?

[00:17:58] You need your gravy?

[00:17:58] What do you need?

[00:17:59] Everybody.

[00:18:00] You know, I'm talking about...

[00:18:01] What'd I say?

[00:18:02] Eight cousins.

[00:18:04] Five siblings of the grandparents, right?

[00:18:09] All spouses.

[00:18:10] So five more spouses, right?

[00:18:14] And then the grandparents.

[00:18:16] It's just a massive operation.

[00:18:18] In a tiny little row home in Schrainer, Pennsylvania.

[00:18:22] And everybody came for years and years.

[00:18:24] You know, it wasn't like...

[00:18:26] Everybody came.

[00:18:28] And...

[00:18:29] And...

[00:18:31] The eating would commence.

[00:18:33] You know what I mean?

[00:18:34] And one of the things that...

[00:18:35] My dad always...

[00:18:37] My dad was like...

[00:18:39] I don't know, man.

[00:18:40] Like...

[00:18:41] He was really good...

[00:18:44] At cheerleading.

[00:18:45] And he still is.

[00:18:46] You know what I mean?

[00:18:47] He...

[00:18:48] He has a knack for this.

[00:18:50] I don't know...

[00:18:51] Because...

[00:18:52] I know his childhood was rough.

[00:18:54] But what I know about my dad for certain...

[00:18:57] There are a lot of things.

[00:18:58] You know what I mean?

[00:18:59] He's a man who lived through the 1950s till now.

[00:19:02] 1950 he was born, right?

[00:19:04] And you know, he lived a rough childhood, man.

[00:19:07] Rough.

[00:19:08] And...

[00:19:10] Made a lot of mistakes.

[00:19:11] You know what I mean?

[00:19:14] But something happened to that man.

[00:19:17] And...

[00:19:19] He...

[00:19:20] Has...

[00:19:21] Always had this quality.

[00:19:22] He always had this thing.

[00:19:26] Um...

[00:19:26] Where he would just...

[00:19:28] You know, every meal my mother made was the best meal he ever ate.

[00:19:31] You know what I'm saying?

[00:19:33] Everything we did as kids was the most amazing thing he ever saw.

[00:19:37] And it sounds stupid...

[00:19:39] When I say it out loud.

[00:19:41] But...

[00:19:42] Of course.

[00:19:43] Of course.

[00:19:45] It almost seems like no duh.

[00:19:47] Like, of course.

[00:19:48] Because if you're remotely grateful and you work all day and you come home and your wife cooks you a meal and it tastes good.

[00:19:53] Like, wow!

[00:19:54] Look where I'm at!

[00:19:56] Again, it's back to gratitude.

[00:19:58] You know what I mean?

[00:19:58] It's back to the gratitude of life.

[00:20:01] Like...

[00:20:01] People get lost in this...

[00:20:04] In this...

[00:20:05] Weird game that everybody plays.

[00:20:08] But...

[00:20:09] You know, my father, like...

[00:20:12] I'm talking about a guy who's...

[00:20:14] You know...

[00:20:15] Has so little in life.

[00:20:17] You know what I mean?

[00:20:21] He says things...

[00:20:22] You know...

[00:20:23] Now he says things to my kids.

[00:20:25] You know what I mean?

[00:20:26] And I watch him.

[00:20:27] And I watch the way he interacts.

[00:20:29] The same thing.

[00:20:30] You know what I mean?

[00:20:32] Like...

[00:20:33] What he can...

[00:20:34] I don't know what it is.

[00:20:35] He sees their hopes and dreams.

[00:20:38] And understands a person's hopes and dreams.

[00:20:41] And...

[00:20:42] And...

[00:20:43] Feeds it.

[00:20:44] You know what I mean?

[00:20:48] Like...

[00:20:48] Like...

[00:20:48] Here's an example.

[00:20:49] My son's been playing football.

[00:20:51] We've been going to the games.

[00:20:52] He's been going to all the games having a blast, right?

[00:20:55] And...

[00:20:58] My dad will compare him to, like...

[00:21:01] An all-star...

[00:21:02] He's been playing linebacker.

[00:21:03] So he'll call him, like...

[00:21:04] Compare him to an all-star linebacker.

[00:21:05] Oh, he's like...

[00:21:06] Zach Bond out there.

[00:21:07] You know what I mean?

[00:21:09] And...

[00:21:10] And...

[00:21:10] In my...

[00:21:10] My instinct is...

[00:21:12] I'm not like the dad that tells people...

[00:21:14] You know...

[00:21:15] That tells his kids, like...

[00:21:16] You gotta get better.

[00:21:17] You know what I mean?

[00:21:18] I always say good job.

[00:21:19] And all that kind of stuff.

[00:21:19] But I'm...

[00:21:20] Reserved to a point.

[00:21:21] I don't want to give him...

[00:21:22] I feel weird giving him...

[00:21:24] B.S.

[00:21:25] You know what I mean?

[00:21:25] I feel weird being like...

[00:21:26] Dude...

[00:21:27] You're like the best player out there.

[00:21:28] Because he ain't the best player out there.

[00:21:30] You know what I mean?

[00:21:30] And he knows it.

[00:21:32] So...

[00:21:32] For me to say it...

[00:21:34] It's silly, right?

[00:21:37] Um...

[00:21:37] But there's something beautiful about...

[00:21:40] Dad.

[00:21:40] You know what I mean?

[00:21:41] And the way he does things.

[00:21:42] And the way he's always done things.

[00:21:44] You know?

[00:21:44] And he looks at his...

[00:21:45] I think it's because he looks at his progeny...

[00:21:46] With such pride.

[00:21:47] And just says...

[00:21:48] You know...

[00:21:48] This is...

[00:21:48] Of course.

[00:21:49] You know?

[00:21:50] Of course you're gonna be the best.

[00:21:51] Like...

[00:21:51] This is just how it works.

[00:21:54] He would always tell me.

[00:21:57] Always.

[00:21:57] Always.

[00:21:58] We're sitting on the couch.

[00:22:00] And...

[00:22:00] Late.

[00:22:00] Always like in the evening.

[00:22:02] You look over at him.

[00:22:03] You got it, Jim.

[00:22:04] You know that, right?

[00:22:05] You got it.

[00:22:07] And I'd be like...

[00:22:08] Yeah, yeah.

[00:22:08] I know.

[00:22:09] I know.

[00:22:09] I know.

[00:22:10] I mean...

[00:22:10] You got it.

[00:22:11] I mean...

[00:22:12] I watch you.

[00:22:12] You got it.

[00:22:15] You know what I mean?

[00:22:16] The only thing I ever feel bad about with my dad is that I never got like...

[00:22:22] Everybody when I was a chef and when I was coming up.

[00:22:25] Everybody thought I was gonna be on TV.

[00:22:27] Everybody thought I was gonna be a star.

[00:22:29] They really did.

[00:22:30] Like classmates, my teachers, all those people in culinary school.

[00:22:35] They were like...

[00:22:35] Oh, James is gonna open a restaurant.

[00:22:36] It's gonna be one of the best restaurants.

[00:22:37] He's gonna be a chef.

[00:22:39] He's gonna be on the Food Network.

[00:22:40] All that kind of stuff.

[00:22:41] And I think my dad always thought that too.

[00:22:44] And you know what I did, man?

[00:22:46] I did that thing that they always tell you to do in movies.

[00:22:49] You know what I mean?

[00:22:49] They'd like...

[00:22:50] Go the way you wanna go.

[00:22:53] You know what I mean?

[00:22:54] Like I went the way of love and marriage instead of...

[00:22:57] Uh...

[00:22:58] Whatever.

[00:22:59] You know what I mean?

[00:22:59] Like...

[00:23:00] That's what I really dug into.

[00:23:03] And then I fell even further from the possibility of fame and fortune because...

[00:23:09] I left cooking to have a real job so I could be with my family.

[00:23:14] Imagine.

[00:23:15] Right?

[00:23:16] And then...

[00:23:16] And then I fell completely out of any possibility of fame and fortune for a while because I decided

[00:23:24] to vote Republican in America in the early 2000s and do a podcast criticizing the government

[00:23:31] and everything.

[00:23:33] And...

[00:23:35] But then again, you know...

[00:23:38] Who knows?

[00:23:40] The truth of the matter is when it comes to that stuff, if...

[00:23:43] If I wrote a book and they told me I had to do a book tour in order to get the paycheck,

[00:23:47] I probably would tell them I'm not doing it.

[00:23:50] Because...

[00:23:50] I've committed to...

[00:23:52] Being here.

[00:23:53] You know what I mean?

[00:23:54] I've committed to that.

[00:23:56] And that time will end.

[00:23:58] You know?

[00:23:58] And likely Lady Liberty and I will be doing preppers, circuits, and all that kind of stuff

[00:24:03] and living a different kind of lifestyle.

[00:24:04] But this chunk...

[00:24:05] This chunk right here, I'll never forget.

[00:24:07] This chunk right here, I'll never get back.

[00:24:11] You know what I mean?

[00:24:12] Everybody used to live this way.

[00:24:14] It's funny, really, when you think about it.

[00:24:16] Everybody used to be around.

[00:24:17] You know what I mean?

[00:24:18] It wasn't like people weren't around.

[00:24:20] It was weird.

[00:24:23] So, where was I?

[00:24:24] Oh, so the cheering on of the children and the dad and everybody cheer you on.

[00:24:29] You know what I mean?

[00:24:29] Oh, God.

[00:24:30] What are you going for?

[00:24:31] Another one?

[00:24:31] You're going for another plate?

[00:24:33] Well, how many plates are you in now?

[00:24:34] Three plates?

[00:24:35] What are you...

[00:24:36] And it was like...

[00:24:37] You know, it was like a game.

[00:24:39] You know, it was like, how much can you stuff yourself?

[00:24:41] I was at a birthday party.

[00:24:43] The mom...

[00:24:44] The kid eats cake and ice cream.

[00:24:47] He's running around in the field, right?

[00:24:49] And the mom says,

[00:24:50] All right, that's enough running.

[00:24:51] Come on back.

[00:24:52] That's enough running.

[00:24:54] What the hell?

[00:24:55] I've never heard a parent say that in my life.

[00:24:57] Right?

[00:24:58] My parents are letting me stuff my face.

[00:25:00] I'm gagging on...

[00:25:03] Cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes.

[00:25:05] And they're cheering me on.

[00:25:06] And all the kids, too.

[00:25:07] It wasn't just me.

[00:25:08] My sister.

[00:25:09] You know, everybody who was eating.

[00:25:10] You keep eating.

[00:25:12] And you gotta understand, you know, these are people that are like...

[00:25:15] Coming out of tough times.

[00:25:16] You know what I mean?

[00:25:17] My parents, both my parents, neither of them were rich.

[00:25:19] They're both poor.

[00:25:21] As kids.

[00:25:23] So they're sitting there feasting, man.

[00:25:25] And they're like, look at this.

[00:25:26] You know what I mean?

[00:25:27] Fill yourself up.

[00:25:28] Not that we went home and didn't have food.

[00:25:30] We never didn't have food.

[00:25:31] You know what I mean?

[00:25:31] That wasn't...

[00:25:32] We weren't in that sort of situation.

[00:25:38] You know, and eventually we'd all be stuffed.

[00:25:42] And that's when dessert started.

[00:25:43] You know, you get stuffed to the absolute gills, right?

[00:25:47] And then we'd walk out to the kitchen.

[00:25:49] And out in the kitchen, there was an old telephone with a spinny thing, right?

[00:25:54] But it wasn't a spinny thing.

[00:25:56] It was a touch dial.

[00:25:56] It was designed to look like an old phone.

[00:25:58] Right there, as soon as you walked into the left.

[00:26:00] My grandmother also kept a giant spoon and a giant fork in there to beat the children with.

[00:26:05] Or to threaten to beat the children with, right?

[00:26:09] Hung on the wall.

[00:26:10] You know what I mean?

[00:26:11] The dining room table to the right and a counter to the left.

[00:26:15] Okay?

[00:26:15] Little, little corner spot there.

[00:26:17] Four burner stove.

[00:26:18] Corner spot.

[00:26:21] Sink.

[00:26:22] On the back corner.

[00:26:24] Two windows on the right.

[00:26:26] Frigerator.

[00:26:27] Then it led to a shed.

[00:26:28] They called it a shed, but really it was just a room in the house.

[00:26:35] Sometimes I have dreams where I'm walking down different halls in like a business building.

[00:26:41] And I open up a door and I'm in that kitchen.

[00:26:45] You know what I mean?

[00:26:46] I'm over there like doing dishes in that kitchen and it's wild.

[00:26:52] But anyway, you go out there and you head out there and now all of a sudden there's multitudes of desserts.

[00:27:00] Okay?

[00:27:00] They put a couple pies down.

[00:27:01] All the food's cleared.

[00:27:02] The women cleared the food.

[00:27:03] The women did the dishes.

[00:27:05] All the food's cleared.

[00:27:06] The men are nauseated.

[00:27:11] Right?

[00:27:12] They can't move.

[00:27:13] They slump over from like the table seats, the picnic seats, onto the couch.

[00:27:22] And the football's on.

[00:27:24] You know what I mean?

[00:27:24] The Dallas Cowboys.

[00:27:25] The unstoppable Dallas Cowboys.

[00:27:26] I gotta watch them win again.

[00:27:30] And the desserts start hitting the tits.

[00:27:32] It's an apple pie.

[00:27:33] It's a pumpkin pie.

[00:27:35] It's a...

[00:27:35] I don't think...

[00:27:36] I think that was about it on the...

[00:27:37] I don't remember other pies really.

[00:27:39] But it's at least an apple pie.

[00:27:40] It's a pumpkin pie.

[00:27:41] You go in there.

[00:27:42] It's an ambrosia salad.

[00:27:44] Have you ever had an ambrosia salad?

[00:27:46] It's a...

[00:27:47] It's a...

[00:27:47] What else did they do in there?

[00:27:50] There was always like three things on the counter.

[00:27:53] The one was the ambrosia.

[00:27:55] I always ate it because it had the coconut and the cherries and the marshmallows folded.

[00:27:59] Oh, the chocolate mousse.

[00:28:00] The only thing I ever looked forward to in my whole life that my Aunt Judy did was the chocolate mousse.

[00:28:05] She'd bring over the chocolate.

[00:28:06] My cousin Danny would karate kick your head off for the chocolate mousse, right?

[00:28:11] I'd try to get in there and get it before he got some.

[00:28:15] And yeah, the chocolate mousse, man.

[00:28:18] That was a great one.

[00:28:19] And so we keep eating, you know?

[00:28:21] And then like more platters would come out.

[00:28:24] After the dessert, more platters came out for the watching of the game with peanuts and pretzels, that kind of stuff.

[00:28:31] More gherkins and like cheeses, I remember.

[00:28:35] And you know, the eating just went on and on and on and on.

[00:28:40] And you just couldn't fathom the amount of eating.

[00:28:42] And you'd look around and you'd realize like, this is amazing, you know?

[00:28:49] And, you know, eventually everything would break down.

[00:28:52] And I don't remember being old enough or smart enough or wise enough to sit around and watch it all.

[00:29:00] You know, I'd love to go back and watch it all from a rocking chair and just watch everyone interact and go like, wow, this is family in the 1990s.

[00:29:12] You know what I mean?

[00:29:13] This is a thing.

[00:29:16] Because it was a beautiful thing, man.

[00:29:18] You know, it was a beautiful, I mean, it doesn't get much more beautiful than that.

[00:29:25] Does it?

[00:29:27] It doesn't get much more beautiful than that.

[00:29:29] Massive, five siblings, you know.

[00:29:32] Grandkids, even great-grandkids.

[00:29:34] Parents, spouses, you know, everybody had a spouse.

[00:29:37] It wasn't like, you know, there were not really many broken homes in my family.

[00:29:44] And then, you know, people would break down into groups, you know, the men.

[00:29:47] I don't know, watching football.

[00:29:49] My Uncle Richie's trying to pretend like he cares about football sometimes.

[00:29:53] And, you know, he usually rolled out pretty early with his wife.

[00:29:57] And they didn't have kids yet.

[00:29:59] I loved Uncle Richie, man.

[00:30:00] I wanted to go with him everywhere.

[00:30:02] See, I don't know, it was cool.

[00:30:03] I kind of had the hots for his wife, who was my aunt.

[00:30:06] But, you know what I mean, by marriage, whatever.

[00:30:12] But anyway, you know, the whole thing, right?

[00:30:17] And then eventually, you know, it would happen.

[00:30:19] You know what I mean?

[00:30:20] The worst thing in the world that could happen to a kid in a situation like that would start to happen.

[00:30:25] Friends and cousins.

[00:30:26] The cousins would start to leave, you know.

[00:30:27] And I would hold on to my cousin Lauren.

[00:30:30] I mean, don't leave.

[00:30:31] I don't know, you and Aunt Donna must stay.

[00:30:34] You know what I mean?

[00:30:34] We're going to stay and play.

[00:30:35] Can we sleep over?

[00:30:36] Can we...

[00:30:38] Please don't let it end.

[00:30:39] We're having too much fun.

[00:30:43] And, you know, and eventually you went home.

[00:30:44] I have no idea what happened when I went home.

[00:30:46] I'm sure I passed out.

[00:30:47] I'm sure one of the things...

[00:30:48] We probably watched something.

[00:30:49] You know what I mean?

[00:30:50] Oh, I forgot about the parade.

[00:30:51] We always watched the parade.

[00:30:53] Before the parade was like, you know, rainbows and transgenderism.

[00:30:58] I don't even know what it is, but it can't be good.

[00:31:02] We'd watch the parade.

[00:31:03] You know what I mean?

[00:31:03] We'd get to watch the parade.

[00:31:06] And then we'd all go home, you know, till next year.

[00:31:09] Till Christmas.

[00:31:10] We'd be back for Christmas to bum-bums, to mammals.

[00:31:14] And it was just a...

[00:31:16] You know, that's what it was.

[00:31:17] It was a beautiful thing and it lasted only...

[00:31:20] Here's the thing about life in these beautiful moments.

[00:31:23] You know, these beautiful moments, they happen time and time again, right?

[00:31:28] They happen several times.

[00:31:30] It's not like it was a 10-year span of my life.

[00:31:33] You know, we're talking probably five occurrences.

[00:31:36] I have to imagine.

[00:31:37] Maybe a little more than five.

[00:31:40] But it wasn't like the massive part of my life.

[00:31:44] But sometimes things are so damn good that they just cement into your memory.

[00:31:51] You know what I mean?

[00:31:51] They just get, like, ground into your memory as something magic.

[00:31:55] Even when you're that little, you understand, like, this was special.

[00:32:01] And we had, you know, my family had a propensity to fight.

[00:32:04] And we would fight and, you know, we would get in arguments.

[00:32:06] And the older we...

[00:32:07] The grandkids got, they would fight.

[00:32:10] You know, the whole thing fell apart fundamentally at the end of the day.

[00:32:14] And then they started not dropping off.

[00:32:16] You know what I mean?

[00:32:17] Then you start losing people.

[00:32:18] You know what I mean?

[00:32:19] People start dying on you.

[00:32:20] And you're like, holy mackerel.

[00:32:21] What's going on here?

[00:32:23] I was long gone by then.

[00:32:26] I left it all behind.

[00:32:27] I did.

[00:32:27] It was a little too much drama for me.

[00:32:29] At a very young age, I knew undoubtedly that if you don't cut the cancerous people out of your life, you're going to deal with them until the day you die.

[00:32:40] Okay?

[00:32:41] I mean, it's true.

[00:32:43] It's hard.

[00:32:44] But I knew it at a very young age.

[00:32:46] These people have to go.

[00:32:47] You know what I mean?

[00:32:48] There's things here.

[00:32:49] This was not when they were dying of drug addiction either.

[00:32:51] This was just arguments and fighting and all that kind of stuff.

[00:32:54] There's always a battle going on.

[00:32:55] Someone's always fighting.

[00:32:58] So, I mean, we were all cordial during the holidays.

[00:33:01] We shut the hell up and ate and had fun together.

[00:33:03] You know?

[00:33:05] But it was an off-season that was rough.

[00:33:12] You know, there's wind blowing through the leaves right now.

[00:33:16] It's been blowing all day.

[00:33:19] And I was walking from my favorite little cafe.

[00:33:26] And I was watching the wind rustle the leaves.

[00:33:29] Listening to the voice of the fall.

[00:33:31] You know what I mean?

[00:33:32] Watching the wind have a conversation with the leaves.

[00:33:36] Something so mundane and so ridiculous.

[00:33:39] And I started thinking to myself,

[00:33:42] As hard as it is to believe,

[00:33:45] One day,

[00:33:47] You will pay anything

[00:33:49] To hear the wind rustle through the fall leaves.

[00:33:52] To see the color,

[00:33:54] That sort of ruby-ish color

[00:33:55] Is what the tree I was looking at.

[00:33:57] To see that ruby color,

[00:33:59] You'd pay almost anything

[00:34:01] To see it one last time.

[00:34:03] A day will come in your life,

[00:34:05] A day will come in my life,

[00:34:07] When we're down to those last moments,

[00:34:09] Those last days of suffering

[00:34:11] Before we cross over.

[00:34:14] And in those moments,

[00:34:18] There'll be things.

[00:34:19] You know what I mean?

[00:34:19] And one of those things

[00:34:23] Every penny you earned,

[00:34:25] Every possession you had,

[00:34:27] You would give

[00:34:28] For a chance to walk

[00:34:29] On your own two feet

[00:34:30] Of your own free will.

[00:34:33] Down a stretch of road,

[00:34:35] A familiar stretch of road,

[00:34:38] Where you know the trees

[00:34:39] And you know the leaves

[00:34:40] And the sky is blue and high

[00:34:42] And the clouds are puffy

[00:34:44] And it's fall again

[00:34:45] And it's beautiful

[00:34:46] And your youth is there with you.

[00:34:48] And you carry your youth

[00:34:50] And you take the steps

[00:34:51] Through that familiar pathway

[00:34:52] And you listen to the conversation

[00:34:54] Between the wind

[00:34:56] And the rustling trees

[00:34:57] And you realize

[00:34:58] How amazing it is

[00:35:00] To be alive.

[00:35:03] Because that's gratitude,

[00:35:04] PBN family.

[00:35:06] You know,

[00:35:07] If you can find gratitude

[00:35:09] For the wind blowing through trees,

[00:35:11] It's impossible for you to exist

[00:35:14] In depression.

[00:35:17] And then you start to realize

[00:35:19] That every blade of grass,

[00:35:20] Every little thing that you look at

[00:35:21] Is a miracle.

[00:35:24] So,

[00:35:24] And most people

[00:35:25] Just need to slow the hell down

[00:35:27] And enjoy it,

[00:35:28] You know.

[00:35:28] So,

[00:35:29] Be gracious,

[00:35:30] PBN family.

[00:35:31] Happy Thanksgiving

[00:35:32] To you all.

[00:35:33] And this will either be

[00:35:35] My surviving America

[00:35:36] Or I may drop it

[00:35:37] Specifically on Thanksgiving.

[00:35:39] We'll just have to wait and see.

[00:35:41] Talk to you soon, folks.