Raising Values: Thankful

[00:00:01] Welcome to the Raising Values Podcast, where the traditional family talks. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and Spotify, and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can support the Raising Values Podcast through Patreon. Phil and Gillian are behind the mic and we hope you enjoy the show.

[00:00:29] Welcome back to Raising Values. I've been told to intro.

[00:00:32] Good morning, everybody.

[00:00:35] Come on, do this.

[00:00:35] We're going to look back through the last five or six episodes and I'm going to prove to you that I usually intro.

[00:00:40] Well, welcome to Raising Values Podcast. This episode, well, you know what? We haven't met, well, met.

[00:00:48] It's a meeting.

[00:00:49] It's been two weeks.

[00:00:50] Welcome to our meeting. Yeah, we didn't come, we didn't go on last week because of Phoebe and Andrew's wedding.

[00:00:57] And I have to be completely honest, it was nice to have a break and not have to think about show topics and what are we going to talk about and things like that.

[00:01:07] But it's been a really hard two weeks at the Rabelais House. Really, really hard two weeks.

[00:01:14] And I can't promise that I will not cry during this episode because there's been a lot of tears in the last two weeks.

[00:01:21] So that may happen as well.

[00:01:24] I didn't cause any of them.

[00:01:28] No, I don't think you did.

[00:01:31] But I mean, it would be really easy to just blame you for that.

[00:01:35] I'm a husband. That's what I'm here for.

[00:01:37] It was in that fine print at the bottom of that contract you signed.

[00:01:41] Did you read the back of the contract where the whole thing was small print for you?

[00:01:45] Oh, I think I may have spilled something on the back.

[00:01:48] Yeah.

[00:01:50] Nolan Boyd.

[00:01:51] The whole thing.

[00:01:52] The whole thing.

[00:01:52] Okay, get out.

[00:01:53] Your side.

[00:01:55] No.

[00:01:56] Well, I don't know why Facebook is acting up.

[00:02:00] So I'm sorry about that.

[00:02:02] Some people are getting to see it and some people aren't.

[00:02:05] Stuart, you said that there's no live on Facebook.

[00:02:07] But then we have comments come through on Facebook.

[00:02:09] And so I'm not quite sure what's going on with Facebook.

[00:02:12] Maybe they just hate us.

[00:02:13] Maybe we've said something to rattle up the...

[00:02:16] Blue hairs.

[00:02:17] The blue hairs.

[00:02:19] Is it blue hair?

[00:02:20] Oh.

[00:02:20] Yes.

[00:02:20] I know what you're saying.

[00:02:21] Okay.

[00:02:22] Over there in Facebook land.

[00:02:24] Oh, well.

[00:02:25] We've been zookered.

[00:02:26] We had the same thing last, I think...

[00:02:28] Two weeks ago.

[00:02:29] Two weeks ago.

[00:02:30] We had a couple people said they couldn't find us on Facebook, but then I was able to find

[00:02:34] us on Facebook.

[00:02:34] So I...

[00:02:35] Yeah.

[00:02:35] Not sure.

[00:02:36] But you can always follow us if you're wanting to watch the live.

[00:02:39] You can always go to YouTube and rumble and follow us there for live videos.

[00:02:44] And we can see all the comments from all three of them.

[00:02:46] It all populates in one place for us.

[00:02:48] So...

[00:02:48] We can't see the comments rumble.

[00:02:50] Except for rumble.

[00:02:50] That's right.

[00:02:51] I forgot about that.

[00:02:52] Because rumble hasn't quite caught up with the times of live podcasting.

[00:02:57] Right?

[00:02:58] True.

[00:02:58] True.

[00:03:00] So anyway, so today's topic...

[00:03:03] We had admin work.

[00:03:05] New merch.

[00:03:07] New merch.

[00:03:07] It's 15% off right now.

[00:03:09] So...

[00:03:09] Through the end of the month.

[00:03:10] Yeah.

[00:03:10] Through the end of the month.

[00:03:11] So you have a week left.

[00:03:12] Not even a week yet.

[00:03:13] Um...

[00:03:14] And you can always find those links in the show comments below or in the links of any of our

[00:03:19] bios on Facebook and Instagram.

[00:03:22] I'm guessing YouTube.

[00:03:23] All that stuff.

[00:03:24] But those are show notes.

[00:03:25] So, um...

[00:03:26] Yeah.

[00:03:27] The Raising Values and Matter of Facts merch are all kind of co-located...

[00:03:30] Yeah.

[00:03:31] ...in that same link.

[00:03:32] But you can...

[00:03:33] And Phil's wearing one of the shirts that I created.

[00:03:36] It's the apocalyptic warlord player select.

[00:03:40] Who do you want to be when the apocalypse comes?

[00:03:44] Yeah.

[00:03:44] So who do you have?

[00:03:45] I don't know.

[00:03:46] He kept saying, okay, we need this warlord.

[00:03:48] And I was like, who the hell is that warlord?

[00:03:50] So that's Lord Humongous from Mad Max.

[00:03:52] And that's Max from Road Warrior.

[00:03:57] And then that's Snake Plissken from Escape from Newark, Escape from L.A.

[00:04:02] We're going to watch all these, by the way.

[00:04:03] Oh, boy.

[00:04:04] That's Bert.

[00:04:04] Bert.

[00:04:05] And then this is...

[00:04:07] Oh, these two are from Walking Dead, which was never like a show I watched a lot.

[00:04:11] So I'm struggling.

[00:04:12] Well, why did you add them?

[00:04:14] Because other people in the community know who they are.

[00:04:16] Okay.

[00:04:17] All right.

[00:04:17] So it's kind of got this whole...

[00:04:19] Mortal...

[00:04:20] Not Mortal Kombat.

[00:04:21] What is it?

[00:04:21] Street Fighter.

[00:04:22] Street Fighter.

[00:04:23] Player Selects.

[00:04:26] Facebook Live just popped up.

[00:04:27] Thanks, Stuart.

[00:04:28] Vibe to it.

[00:04:29] So it's fun.

[00:04:30] But there's a lot of other fun shirts and designs on the website.

[00:04:35] So...

[00:04:35] And they're 15% off now until the end of the month.

[00:04:38] So go there.

[00:04:39] I don't know.

[00:04:40] Support Tiffany and Chris and get some merch.

[00:04:44] And then, of course, we always talk about our patron chats, which I've kind of been distant from.

[00:04:50] Unless you tag me, I'm not seeing it because I'm just overloaded with things right now.

[00:04:55] So I'm kind of out of the chats.

[00:04:57] But there's a Raising Values patron chat.

[00:05:01] And there's a Matter of Facts patron chat.

[00:05:04] And like we say on each episode, they are completely different.

[00:05:09] They often discuss different things, different...

[00:05:14] Obviously, different topics and things like that.

[00:05:16] But the Matter of Facts group is a bunch of nerds.

[00:05:20] And they're often talking about nerd things and ranting about the government.

[00:05:27] All well in balance, in my opinion.

[00:05:29] All fun.

[00:05:29] All fun and games on the Matter of Facts one.

[00:05:32] But there is a Raising Values one, which is good, too.

[00:05:34] A little bit more quiet and subdued.

[00:05:36] Very demure.

[00:05:37] So, topic.

[00:05:39] So the topic.

[00:05:40] Thankful.

[00:05:41] Of course, we did a thankful topic because Thanksgiving is this week.

[00:05:44] And we won't talk to you guys until after Thanksgiving when it is full-blown Christmas season.

[00:05:51] So we'll switch over to something like that.

[00:05:53] I don't know.

[00:05:53] But thankful.

[00:05:55] I was kind of hoping that Phil would put some banners in so I could not have to go off of my brain that is not at full capacity.

[00:06:06] You should fire your producer.

[00:06:08] I'm also on Thanksgiving break.

[00:06:11] So the fact that I am out of my pajamas before 10 o'clock is, y'all, I'm doing pretty good.

[00:06:17] You are welcome.

[00:06:21] Anyway, you know, this is like the most stereotypical Thanksgiving time topic you can do.

[00:06:28] But honestly, like, so what I put in the show notes to kind of prime the conversation is, like, what I personally reflect on at moments like this is I reflect on, like, the blessings that I've had in my life.

[00:06:46] Because I think that it's very easy to overlook how we're blessed and what we should be thankful for primarily at two times.

[00:06:57] Either when everything around us is on fire, it's really easy to fall into that pit and say everything's on fire, everything sucks, nothing's going right.

[00:07:06] And then we totally overlook all the things in our life that are going right.

[00:07:09] And it's also equally possible and likely that we forget to be thankful when we're being blessed.

[00:07:17] In other words, like, when everything's going smooth, you totally over – you start to focus on the next thing you want to go well instead of all – I have all these things in front of me that are enriching me.

[00:07:29] Does that make sense?

[00:07:30] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:31] What's going on in the comments?

[00:07:33] Well, it seems like the Matter of Facts patron signal chat has entered the comments section of the YouTube chat.

[00:07:45] I am not singing anything Alanis Morissette, period, end discussion.

[00:07:50] Isn't it ironic?

[00:07:54] Anyway.

[00:07:54] I blame you, Kyle.

[00:07:57] No, I totally agree with that.

[00:07:58] I think it's always easier to get caught up in the good things that are happening and forget to be thankful for – you know, even being thankful for the hard times.

[00:08:10] As hard as that is to say and living through some really hard times right now, it's – there are a good handful of things that we can be thankful for.

[00:08:20] And the way things have turned out in the last two weeks and options that were overlooked that really needed to be overlooked and new eyes set into this whole situation.

[00:08:38] Thank you.

[00:08:39] I couldn't think of a word.

[00:08:40] A debacle kept coming up in my head, which is very much a great adjective for this whole thing.

[00:08:46] But, yeah, it's really easy to get caught up in the bad thoughts.

[00:08:56] You know, like this could have happened or like –

[00:08:58] Or I wish this would have happened differently.

[00:09:00] Yeah.

[00:09:01] Like instead of refocusing our energy into, well, let's think about what really did happen and what the good came out of it and focusing on some of the positives.

[00:09:11] And I think that's kind of where I'm at right now is if I don't cling to anything positive, I'm just going to get sucked down into this void of, you know, nastiness of, oh, my God, this is just so hard.

[00:09:26] So if I can offer something extraordinarily eye-rolling to a lot of people, especially when they're going through a hard time.

[00:09:33] But it's something, again, it's something I try to like remind myself of.

[00:09:38] Is I often tell people like you don't get to control 100% of the world around you, but you do get – you are in 100% control of how you see the world around you.

[00:09:50] So it's one of those situations where like there are some people that are just negative by default.

[00:09:56] Everything sucks.

[00:09:56] Everything – everything's going against them.

[00:09:58] No one likes them.

[00:10:00] You know, I'll just go eat mud.

[00:10:01] Worms.

[00:10:02] Worms.

[00:10:02] Sorry.

[00:10:03] Worms.

[00:10:04] But then my point of view is it's like, yeah, there's hardships in our lives right now.

[00:10:10] And there are upsides to those hardships to be perfectly honest.

[00:10:14] It's like sometimes – sometimes that old corny saying of how like steel gets sharper when you put it in the fire, it's true.

[00:10:24] Sometimes the things that befall us that are weighing heavily on us end up making us stronger, bringing families closer together.

[00:10:33] They wind up reminding us what's truly important because we're forced to fall back to that idea that like these things are all going poorly, but these things that are going well are more important than those things.

[00:10:47] Does that make sense?

[00:10:48] Yeah, it makes sense.

[00:10:48] But I think it's also important to say that it's okay to feel like you're so done with being in the fire and being heated to be sharpened.

[00:11:00] Oh, yes.

[00:11:00] Like I am so tired of being in the furnace at this point, you know, wanting to throw my cell phone in the tub and, you know, or water or whatever,

[00:11:11] and then run away to a deserted island that no one knows where I'm at kind of thing.

[00:11:18] Well, I mean, you and Piper can come, but everyone else can stay wherever they're at.

[00:11:25] Yeah, it's okay to feel like you're overwhelmed with everything and you need a break even when there are good things happening.

[00:11:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:39] Does that make sense?

[00:11:39] No, it makes perfect sense.

[00:11:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:43] Okay.

[00:11:43] So, oh, there's all kinds of talk in the, we're talking about Old Bay turkeys and Thanksgiving dinners and...

[00:11:53] It's quite an eclectic chat today.

[00:11:55] Thank you all for that.

[00:11:56] There is.

[00:11:57] I mean, y'all keep chatting, that's fine, but if you see me laughing, it's because what y'all are putting in the chats.

[00:12:03] Yeah, Kyle, I saw your comment that you're thankful that you get to keep your foot, and that's great.

[00:12:10] I mean, it's kind of ironic that the two of us have that in common, different injuries, but we both have our feet still.

[00:12:19] So I'm glad for that.

[00:12:21] That is something that we talk about in the chat.

[00:12:24] I do remember years and years ago, there was a moment where the pain in your leg had kind of overwhelmed you emotionally, and you were very upset about why did this happen?

[00:12:36] Why didn't they just cut it off?

[00:12:38] Why, you know, why didn't things turn out differently?

[00:12:40] And at that moment, I gently pointed out to you.

[00:12:44] I'm like, but you didn't die.

[00:12:47] And the accident you had could have very easily killed you.

[00:12:52] If there hadn't been an ambulance as close as it was, you would have bled out on the side of the road.

[00:12:56] So you didn't die.

[00:12:58] I don't remember there being a lot of blood, but okay.

[00:13:01] I know.

[00:13:02] I know.

[00:13:02] There had to be.

[00:13:04] If your foot's hanging off, there has to be a lot of blood.

[00:13:07] Without, yeah, without making this an X-rated podcast.

[00:13:10] The medical field can probably attest to that.

[00:13:13] I'm sure there was a lot of blood, but my brain in the trauma that I was in.

[00:13:18] Your brain said, nope, not today, Satan.

[00:13:20] We are not remembering this, and I don't remember.

[00:13:23] I remember the entire event.

[00:13:25] I just don't remember what my body looked like when I looked at it.

[00:13:29] I don't remember it.

[00:13:30] It's crazy.

[00:13:31] I have a visual imagination.

[00:13:34] Gently.

[00:13:35] Phil gently points out facts.

[00:13:37] I gently point it out.

[00:13:38] I'm like, you're alive.

[00:13:39] You could have lost your life that evening.

[00:13:43] You did keep your foot, which means you kept your mobility.

[00:13:46] You weren't wheelchair bound.

[00:13:48] You weren't stuck on crutches.

[00:13:51] As much pain as the injury has caused you and the decision that was made in the hospital

[00:13:56] to try to keep your foot instead of going straight to a prosthetic, you walked on your wedding day.

[00:14:03] You chased your kid around when she was a toddler.

[00:14:07] I guess from my point of view, it's kind of the same conversation I have with other combat veterans who a multitude of us have some kind of injuries.

[00:14:16] It's joints.

[00:14:17] It's back.

[00:14:18] It's everything.

[00:14:19] It's everything because we're not nice to our bodies when we're younger and we think we're bulletproof.

[00:14:22] Then when we get to about 40, our bodies start to remind us about all the stupid things we did.

[00:14:28] But I always point out to all of them, I'm like, you know, I will always have a very hard time feeling sorry for myself when my knee or my hip are acting up or my back is hurting because I know people who didn't get to see their kids grow up.

[00:14:44] And for that simple reason, I will never be able to feel bad about it because to me it's like if this is the penance I have to pay to be with my family, fine.

[00:14:56] Give it to me twice.

[00:14:59] Yeah, I know.

[00:15:00] And like we said in the very beginning, it's really hard when you get caught up in that.

[00:15:04] I mean, I have pain every day of my life.

[00:15:07] I get out of bed, I have to put my foot in socket.

[00:15:10] And sometimes when I get out from a chair, I have to put my foot in socket.

[00:15:14] And that's a very painful process.

[00:15:16] But I've learned how to do it very quickly and with as little pain as I possibly can.

[00:15:22] And losing 50 pounds has helped a lot.

[00:15:26] I'm always reminded when the temperature drops below 70, how much of an injury I still have and that it will never get any better.

[00:15:38] I mean, I can limp it along.

[00:15:42] I know, that was a good one.

[00:15:44] But yeah, I woke up this morning hobbling out of the bedroom because the cold just hurts.

[00:15:52] And, you know, it's so funny too.

[00:15:54] I know this is kind of off topic.

[00:15:56] But every time we go on hikes, especially up in the northern parts of the country, and there's nice cold springs that we have to cross through.

[00:16:03] Oh, those are bad.

[00:16:03] I always think, oh, this will be great.

[00:16:06] I'm going to dip my foot in this cold water, take out some of the swelling.

[00:16:11] And that is the worst thing I can do for myself.

[00:16:14] It hurts so bad.

[00:16:15] I can't walk afterwards.

[00:16:17] I am in so much pain for the rest of the hike.

[00:16:21] It's like, God, I am so stupid.

[00:16:23] And then I'm at school this week.

[00:16:25] And so our playground is kind of on this open field, like where our soccer field is.

[00:16:31] And when the wind is blowing and I'm not wearing long socks up to, like, past my ankle at least, and it's cold,

[00:16:40] I have to remind myself to wear long socks because I have old lady ankles.

[00:16:48] But, yeah, it's those little things that I have to remind myself while you're walking out to recess duty and you're walking to your classroom and you go for walks in the afternoon and all that stuff.

[00:17:00] But it's easy and it's okay to get caught in the sadness of the situations that are happening in your life.

[00:17:11] And it's okay to process those things with tears and feeling sorry for yourself.

[00:17:16] And, you know, there's a – I always go to memes.

[00:17:19] There's a meme that I have saved in my phone.

[00:17:23] And it's from years and years ago.

[00:17:25] And I send it to my sisters every now and then.

[00:17:27] And, you know, I pull it up every now and then.

[00:17:29] And it says you have five minutes to be sad for yourself.

[00:17:33] And then it's time to be gangster.

[00:17:36] Like, be sad for yourself for a little bit and then, like, get up off your ass and then do the damn thing.

[00:17:43] Like, do whatever you need to do for the day.

[00:17:45] Find something to find joy in.

[00:17:48] And so, you know, it's just permission to feel sorry for yourself for a minute.

[00:17:55] It's okay to do that.

[00:17:56] You have to process your emotions that way.

[00:17:59] And I'm a crier, so I cry a lot.

[00:18:02] And, you know, when I get overwhelmed, I mean, even just talking about crying a lot makes me want to cry.

[00:18:09] And when I get overwhelmed with different situations, I cry.

[00:18:12] And I think when we first started dating, that scared the hell out of you that I cried so much.

[00:18:19] Well, I mean, bearing in mind that you and I are very, very much opposites emotionally.

[00:18:26] Like, usually I get really quiet before I get to that point of, like, you know, like visibly breaking down.

[00:18:33] You know what I'm saying?

[00:18:34] Like, everyone's heard the saying, like, beware the quiet kid.

[00:18:39] I was the quiet kid.

[00:18:40] So when Phil gets quiet, it either means I am totally overwhelmed.

[00:18:46] I'm in my head thinking about something, which happens sometimes.

[00:18:49] Or, like, I am about this close to just telling somebody about themselves.

[00:18:54] And I'm trying to talk myself off that ledge.

[00:18:58] What do you do for that?

[00:18:59] I was laughing at Olivia's comment.

[00:19:01] When you hobble on the cold days, just embrace your inner penguin.

[00:19:05] That's true.

[00:19:06] I could do that.

[00:19:08] And then Joe's comment says, just wait until you get older and the arthritis sets in.

[00:19:14] And so my, when I had my wreck, the entire right side of my body was crushed in the car accident.

[00:19:21] And my leg was broken in 23 spots from middle of my shin and down to my heel where my heel was cracked in half.

[00:19:29] And then my right arm was crushed in, I don't know, 11 places maybe.

[00:19:35] I don't know.

[00:19:35] Pins, needles, not needles, pins and screws and plates.

[00:19:39] I've seen some of the hardware.

[00:19:41] The hardware was out of this world.

[00:19:43] I literally had to carry a card to go through metal detectors.

[00:19:49] I have had arthritis and osteoporosis since I was 19.

[00:19:56] And there is, literally, I am not playing.

[00:20:02] If anyone in the chat wants to see my most recent x-rays, there is no connective tissue in my ankle.

[00:20:10] There is no cartilage between the bones.

[00:20:13] There's nothing padding the bones from where my leg meets my foot, the joint in my ankle.

[00:20:20] So it is literally bone on bone.

[00:20:23] I have, if, if, if, when I show you, if you ever want to see these x-rays in my calf, in the muscle in my calf, I have bone shards that they never cleaned out.

[00:20:37] From where my leg just kind of, the bone kind of just burst from impact.

[00:20:42] I know, I'm laughing about it.

[00:20:44] It's really not that funny.

[00:20:46] But I have, I look like a World War II shrapnel, a soldier that's been hit by shrapnel.

[00:20:52] And when they do these x-rays, it kind of lights up in polka dots from my shin down.

[00:20:58] So I have shards of bone throughout my leg that are just sitting there.

[00:21:03] So to answer Joe's question, you hit a tree and the tree won.

[00:21:08] Oh, yeah.

[00:21:10] I was being a really, really stupid 18-year-old teenager.

[00:21:14] I had come home from college for the weekend to watch the big rival football game at my high school.

[00:21:23] So this was two months into my freshman year of college, 18 being stupid.

[00:21:29] We won.

[00:21:31] We were going out to celebrate at a friend's house.

[00:21:34] And I decided to follow a friend of mine to her house down a road that I hadn't been down in quite some time

[00:21:42] and didn't realize that this road had been freshly tarred and graveled.

[00:21:45] Remember that I'm from the country.

[00:21:47] And I was going 60 miles an hour down this road.

[00:21:50] And it was a pretty significant curve in the road, almost like a 90 degree.

[00:21:56] And instead of turning my car, I hit the brakes and just slid straight off the road into a little ravine.

[00:22:02] Actually, I hit the tree and then fell into the little ravine.

[00:22:07] So, yeah, hitting a tree at 60 miles an hour.

[00:22:10] Fun times.

[00:22:11] The really good thing, since we're talking about thankful, is that my twin sister was supposed to be with me that night.

[00:22:18] And she changed her mind in the parking lot.

[00:22:21] She decided to go hang out with her boyfriend.

[00:22:24] And I said, fine, I'll go by myself.

[00:22:28] And the engine came through the firewall of the car and was sitting in the passenger seat.

[00:22:38] And it would have killed my sister had she been with me.

[00:22:41] So, thankful that she was not with me.

[00:22:44] And, yeah, so that's the car accident.

[00:22:48] And it just kind of went downhill from there, literally.

[00:22:51] They had to pull me out of the back end of the car because I was so stuck.

[00:22:56] The car was so stuck down in the ravine they couldn't open the doors or safely get a stretcher down in there to get me out.

[00:23:05] And I remember, and I've always laughed about this,

[00:23:09] my friend stopped behind me.

[00:23:11] This was before cell phones.

[00:23:13] My friend stopped behind me and she said, are you okay?

[00:23:16] And I remember that my arm crunched when I went to take my seatbelt off.

[00:23:21] And I was like, damn it, I broke my arm.

[00:23:23] I wrecked the car.

[00:23:24] Mom and Dad are going to kill me.

[00:23:27] And I remember yelling out the window that I broke my arm.

[00:23:30] I mean, I said, please call 911.

[00:23:33] Well, the police call 911 meant you're going to have to travel a mile up the road to the nearest house to bang on the door at 1030 at night.

[00:23:41] Ask them to use the phone to call 911, which she did.

[00:23:46] And finally, they got out there.

[00:23:50] I can laugh about it now.

[00:23:52] I actually laughed about it after it happened.

[00:23:55] Anyway, they get me on the stretcher.

[00:23:58] And remember, I'm on a hill.

[00:24:03] And one of the deputies asked another one of the deputies to watch the stretcher that I was on.

[00:24:14] But he didn't.

[00:24:15] And I started rolling down the hill on a stretcher.

[00:24:20] And so paramedics and police officers are running after me on the stretcher.

[00:24:24] I'm yelling because I'm strapped to a damn stretcher that's now rolling down a freshly tarred and gravel road.

[00:24:35] I'm also in a lot of pain.

[00:24:37] I had passed out from shock at least once at this moment, at this point.

[00:24:44] Especially when they had to, gross part, when they had to put my foot back in line with my leg and put me in a brace.

[00:24:53] I passed out from that.

[00:24:55] Yeah.

[00:24:56] So, fun times.

[00:25:00] Oh, I remember what I was going to say.

[00:25:02] I was laughing at myself.

[00:25:04] When my friend left to go call 911, I remember looking down at my leg.

[00:25:09] And like I said, I have no visual memory of what my leg looked like.

[00:25:13] But I remember enough that my first thought was, I think I've told you this, the coyotes are going to smell my blood and come eat me before help gets here.

[00:25:26] And that was my thought.

[00:25:28] I thought, and I wasn't crying at all.

[00:25:31] I was like...

[00:25:32] Shock is a hell of a drug.

[00:25:33] It is.

[00:25:34] I was like, damn it.

[00:25:36] I've wrecked the car and I've broken my leg and my arm.

[00:25:39] And my mom and dad are going to kill me.

[00:25:41] And then the coyotes are going to smell my blood and come eat me before help gets here.

[00:25:47] Uh-huh.

[00:25:50] So, there's more to the story.

[00:25:51] It goes on for days.

[00:25:55] The...

[00:25:55] It goes on.

[00:25:56] If you ever want to hear it.

[00:25:57] I have talked about it before on the episode.

[00:26:00] But I am thankful for the crew that responded.

[00:26:03] And being from a small town...

[00:26:05] You knew a lot of the people that showed up.

[00:26:08] Yeah.

[00:26:08] My...

[00:26:09] The guy that I was dating was one of the cops that responded.

[00:26:14] He was one of the deputies that responded.

[00:26:16] And the paramedics, literally, their station was in my backyard.

[00:26:24] So, it was like our backyard, the fence, and then their station.

[00:26:27] So, I grew up with all of the paramedics that responded.

[00:26:31] Um...

[00:26:31] I remember one guy.

[00:26:33] I don't know if he ever watches the show because we're still friends on Facebook.

[00:26:37] Um...

[00:26:37] Poor thing.

[00:26:38] He...

[00:26:39] When he responded, um...

[00:26:41] And he got me in the ambulance.

[00:26:42] I remember...

[00:26:43] Jason, I still remember this.

[00:26:45] He leaned over and he goes,

[00:26:46] This is going to hurt like hell.

[00:26:48] You can scream.

[00:26:49] You can holler.

[00:26:50] You can cuss.

[00:26:51] You can do whatever you want to do.

[00:26:52] But you cannot hit me.

[00:26:53] Do not hit me.

[00:26:56] Well, I only had one arm.

[00:26:57] And it was my left arm.

[00:26:58] So, I wasn't going to swing with that one.

[00:27:00] Um...

[00:27:01] And I did.

[00:27:02] I screamed and hollered and cussed and passed out.

[00:27:04] So, I didn't hit him.

[00:27:06] I don't think I hit you, Jason.

[00:27:07] And if I did, I'm very sorry.

[00:27:08] But I do remember him telling me that.

[00:27:11] Like, you can do all these things, but do not hit me.

[00:27:14] So, yeah.

[00:27:15] That was a fun, fun night.

[00:27:17] Yep.

[00:27:18] But you're alive.

[00:27:19] And I'm alive.

[00:27:21] And, yeah.

[00:27:22] It, um...

[00:27:24] I was...

[00:27:24] They were going to airlift me.

[00:27:26] So, I lived in a little bitty town, Homer, Louisiana, which is about 15 miles from the

[00:27:31] Arkansas state line.

[00:27:32] There's 10 stoplights in the whole town.

[00:27:35] Eight of them are around the square in downtown.

[00:27:38] Not that there's a downtown.

[00:27:41] It looks like...

[00:27:42] What is it?

[00:27:43] Mulberry?

[00:27:44] Yeah, kind of.

[00:27:45] It's...

[00:27:45] Seriously?

[00:27:47] Like, when you took me back there, it was...

[00:27:49] It was...

[00:27:50] It was like a sci-fi movie.

[00:27:52] It was like going back in time.

[00:27:53] Yeah.

[00:27:53] Yeah.

[00:27:54] Yeah.

[00:27:54] Definitely.

[00:27:55] And when I got to the hospital, I still hadn't cried yet.

[00:27:59] I was still very much, you know, talking and thinking how much I was going to be killed.

[00:28:04] This was, you know, the least of my concerns because my parents were going to kill me for

[00:28:10] wrecking the car.

[00:28:13] And I remember getting in there and my sixth grade English teacher was my nurse.

[00:28:22] My sixth grade English teacher from Matt Olive Christian School was my nurse.

[00:28:27] And here I am making up cuss words.

[00:28:31] I mean, I was...

[00:28:32] I was...

[00:28:33] I don't know why I was cussing so bad.

[00:28:35] But anyway, I was cussing and, you know, saying and doing whatever.

[00:28:39] Not that I could move much.

[00:28:41] But still couldn't have pain, any kind of pain relief or anything like that because I

[00:28:45] was complaining of stomach pain and they thought I had ruptured my spleen.

[00:28:50] So I had to go in for x-rays and CAT scans and all that.

[00:28:55] And for some reason, I couldn't have pain medicine.

[00:28:57] I don't know.

[00:28:58] Probably because they were fear...

[00:28:59] Our medic friends could probably tell me why.

[00:29:01] Fear of internal bleeding and opiates can depress the heart rate.

[00:29:05] There are valid reasons for that.

[00:29:07] Yeah.

[00:29:08] So my boyfriend deputy at the time excused himself from the case, which meant that state police

[00:29:19] had to come in.

[00:29:20] And I remember...

[00:29:21] I really want to find this police officer one day.

[00:29:23] It would take...

[00:29:25] It's been 22 years since my rec.

[00:29:28] Probably retired by now.

[00:29:30] Probably retired by now.

[00:29:31] But I remember him coming in and reading me the citations that he had to write me.

[00:29:37] I got charged with failure to maintain and something to do with harm with a...

[00:29:48] Reckless driving?

[00:29:49] Maybe reckless driving.

[00:29:50] I remember it being something like intent to do harm or something like that.

[00:29:55] Maybe not intent to do harm, but something to do with using my car.

[00:30:02] I don't know.

[00:30:02] I was charged with some bogus something anyway.

[00:30:06] Tickets got fixed.

[00:30:07] So I didn't have to go to court for that.

[00:30:09] I was, however, sued by the landowners who owned the tree that had to be cut down.

[00:30:17] I was sued by them to have the tree cut down.

[00:30:20] Fun times.

[00:30:22] So back to being thankful.

[00:30:24] Yeah, I know.

[00:30:25] We kind of went down this tarred and graveled road.

[00:30:30] But I guess that's kind of always my perspective on being thankful.

[00:30:34] I use being thankful as an anchor to try to maintain a positive worldview on what's going

[00:30:40] on around me.

[00:30:41] Because when I was in Iraq and during Hurricane Katrina and at various times throughout our

[00:30:46] life together, sometimes life's just hard.

[00:30:49] I don't want to say life sucks, but life's hard.

[00:30:52] There's a lot of things coming at you.

[00:30:55] A lot of it sucks.

[00:30:56] And I try to use being thankful as my anchor point so that I don't allow myself to fall

[00:31:02] into that pit that you were talking about earlier where it's like despair and negativity

[00:31:08] and depression.

[00:31:09] And I try to look at the other way.

[00:31:11] I try to look at the other way of to keep myself from going into that pit.

[00:31:15] I find an anchor point and tie off to it.

[00:31:17] And I say, I cannot go any lower than this because I'm focusing on this thing that is

[00:31:22] going well.

[00:31:23] And like for me, because I know at some point you want to talk about like things we were

[00:31:27] thankful for, like physical things and, you know, but like for me, probably as a result

[00:31:33] of because like I'm not a very materialistic person, you know what I'm saying?

[00:31:40] And for me, like I only value things, material things, if they enable me to do something that

[00:31:46] means something to me.

[00:31:47] Like everything's a means to an end.

[00:31:49] So like the only physical thing I could really come up with last night as I was thinking about

[00:31:54] this that I'm thankful for is this home.

[00:31:58] And it's not even the house for the sake of-

[00:32:00] That's the only thing you could come up with?

[00:32:02] Well, but here's my thing.

[00:32:03] It's not the house for the sake of the house.

[00:32:06] It's the house because like this is, this is the home.

[00:32:09] This is where my family is.

[00:32:11] This is a place of peace for us.

[00:32:14] This is a place of comfort.

[00:32:15] This is our refuge from the world.

[00:32:18] We talk about this a lot.

[00:32:20] Like when we get home from work and school and all that stuff and we're all sitting in

[00:32:25] the living room watching TV or whatever, or maybe we're not watching TV.

[00:32:29] Maybe we're all sitting together and maybe we're all on our phones and doing whatever, but

[00:32:33] we're comfortable and it's quiet and it's safe.

[00:32:38] And yeah, we actually bring that up a lot in this house of how peaceful and calming, not

[00:32:46] just like the physical house of it, but the house that we've built.

[00:32:49] Yeah.

[00:32:50] The difference between a house and a home.

[00:32:51] Aw, sweet Kyle.

[00:32:52] He's thankful for finding us and becoming family.

[00:32:56] He'll regret that decision one day.

[00:32:59] I mean-

[00:33:00] I guess if you haven't, you know, regretted that decision of finding us and becoming a

[00:33:05] family with us, then maybe you're good.

[00:33:08] Maybe we're good.

[00:33:09] No, we're, we are.

[00:33:11] I am very grateful and thankful for the family that we have created with our podcast and being

[00:33:18] able to see them not regularly, but at least once a year we get together and see each other

[00:33:25] and hang out and, you know, we're constantly talking on the chats and sometimes we have

[00:33:32] our friends come on the podcast.

[00:33:34] Um, I look forward to our yearly patron camping trip.

[00:33:39] Um, more than I do a lot of just our regular trips that we take as a family, just because

[00:33:47] we get to be with this other group of people that we have come in contact with and become

[00:33:54] family with.

[00:33:54] I love it.

[00:33:55] It's, um, I'm very thankful for that.

[00:33:57] I'm very thankful for the community that we have built through these podcasts.

[00:34:06] Keep going.

[00:34:07] Oh, we're not famous celebrities.

[00:34:09] No.

[00:34:11] Kyle, only to you.

[00:34:14] We're only celebrities to you.

[00:34:16] No.

[00:34:17] No, but I am also very thankful for like my family, for you and Piper, because, you know,

[00:34:24] like you and I have talked about this and I've probably talked about in the last eight years

[00:34:28] on Matter of Facts, but like, you know, before you and I met, I had really like kind of set

[00:34:36] a path for myself and it did not include getting married.

[00:34:40] It did not include having kids.

[00:34:42] You remind me of that sometimes.

[00:34:44] Yes.

[00:34:45] Only to say that like you and I are together because I want to be with you, not because

[00:34:51] like I need somebody in my life.

[00:34:54] Yeah, you do.

[00:34:55] You need me.

[00:34:57] I mean, to me though, that is like one of the hallmarks of marriage is that it's the other

[00:35:01] half yourself you were missing that you may not have realized you were missing.

[00:35:05] But my point is, is like I had come to the conclusion after multiple failed relationships

[00:35:11] and after years of getting burned and lied to and manipulated by, you know, ex-girlfriends

[00:35:17] that I was like, okay, I'm done.

[00:35:20] I'm done.

[00:35:21] I'm done with the female gender.

[00:35:23] I'm done with relationships.

[00:35:24] I'm going to do me.

[00:35:26] I'm going to do what I want.

[00:35:27] And I'm going to live for like my goals.

[00:35:30] And you do you, boo.

[00:35:32] Yeah.

[00:35:32] Well, that was kind of where I was at that point in my life.

[00:35:34] Like you and I talk about like there's, there's the, the, the MGTOW or men going their own

[00:35:39] way movement.

[00:35:40] That's kind of become somewhat popular in the last several years.

[00:35:43] It's, it's a whole movement of men saying MGTOW.

[00:35:47] Yes.

[00:35:48] But it's a, it's a whole movement of men saying, I'm not trying to get married.

[00:35:52] I'm not trying to have a family.

[00:35:53] I'm not trying to have kids.

[00:35:54] I'm just going to do, I'm going to do me.

[00:35:58] And I mean, that was kind of where I was 20 years ago.

[00:36:02] And then I met you.

[00:36:04] And finally I met a woman who like seemed like she would play straight with me.

[00:36:09] And we, we could have some honesty between the two of us.

[00:36:14] And frankly, I fell for you.

[00:36:15] Oh.

[00:36:18] And I'm thinking.

[00:36:19] And he still has it bad.

[00:36:20] Very.

[00:36:22] But I.

[00:36:23] Look, we're losing viewers while you talk about this.

[00:36:26] But.

[00:36:27] I'm joking.

[00:36:27] But I'm thankful that we found each other.

[00:36:30] I, it, it has, it has been like my greatest joy to be your husband.

[00:36:36] It's been my greatest joy to be Piper's father.

[00:36:39] And none of this would have happened if it weren't for, you know, a picture of me in Iraq

[00:36:45] winding up on my friend's fridge.

[00:36:47] That's true.

[00:36:48] Who just happened to move two doors down from you.

[00:36:50] I know.

[00:36:51] It's supposed to happen.

[00:36:53] I believe that.

[00:36:54] But, you know, I, I do reflect on that sometimes about how like, you know, here was you and

[00:36:59] me on our own paths through our lives.

[00:37:03] And they just, just so happened to intersect at that moment.

[00:37:07] And then it turned into one path.

[00:37:09] But it could have, we could have just as easily missed each other.

[00:37:12] Well, I did tell you not to contact me again.

[00:37:15] I did not, I did not want you to continue to email me, but you were so persistent.

[00:37:21] Daddy didn't raise a quitter.

[00:37:26] That's true.

[00:37:27] And your persistence won.

[00:37:29] And here we are.

[00:37:30] I wore her down until she agreed to talk to me just to like, you know, like basically give

[00:37:36] me a, the internet pat on the head and then go away.

[00:37:39] And somehow I hooked you.

[00:37:42] I set the hook deep.

[00:37:44] Somehow.

[00:37:44] I don't know.

[00:37:45] Well, by, okay.

[00:37:46] So we started talking, what was it in like August?

[00:37:50] And by Thanksgiving, you were going home telling your whole family, I'm marrying this guy?

[00:37:54] It was Thanksgiving.

[00:37:55] Thanksgiving.

[00:37:55] And I had printed a picture of you off.

[00:37:58] And I went to my sister who laughed at me.

[00:38:01] I don't know if she's watching today, but Phoebe laughed at me and she's like, whatever, like

[00:38:06] nerd.

[00:38:07] And she laughed at me.

[00:38:09] And then I went to my dad and he kind of was the same way.

[00:38:12] Like, okay, whatever.

[00:38:13] Like, sure.

[00:38:15] And look, here we are 20 years later.

[00:38:20] Who's the nerd now?

[00:38:22] We are still the nerds.

[00:38:23] We are the nerds.

[00:38:24] But yeah, I'm very, I'm very thankful for my family.

[00:38:27] I'm very thankful for, you know, the rest of my family too.

[00:38:30] I mean, I had, most of the people on the podcast know like I was adopted.

[00:38:35] So I have, you know, like my parents and my younger brother, who's also adopted from different

[00:38:42] family.

[00:38:43] Like we all treated each other with all the respect and love in the world.

[00:38:47] I grew up in no different environment than if I had been their biological child versus

[00:38:52] their adopted child.

[00:38:52] Well, they taught me everything I needed to go out of the world and wrestle it down and

[00:39:00] make it mine.

[00:39:01] They taught me everything I needed as far as like how to be a man, how to be a husband,

[00:39:06] how to be a father, what to look for in the woman that was going to raise my kids.

[00:39:11] Like, you know, like you've, you've, you've joked on more than one occasion about how I

[00:39:16] was always the old man in the relationship.

[00:39:18] But I kind of feel like it's because I was raised by very old school traditional people.

[00:39:23] And when I came into this relationship, I, I already had a very concrete formed idea of

[00:39:29] like, this is who I'm going to be as husband and father.

[00:39:34] That's, that's not negotiable.

[00:39:36] This is it.

[00:39:36] This is the model that works.

[00:39:38] And I already had a very concrete idea of what I was looking for in you.

[00:39:43] If we were going to have children together.

[00:39:48] And it worked, obviously.

[00:39:50] I think we have a very great family, but like, I'll, I'm always very quick to give that thanks

[00:39:55] back to the people who taught me how to make this happen.

[00:39:58] Because if it weren't for them, I would have no model.

[00:40:02] Or if, if I'd come from like a broken home or if I had come from a family that didn't take

[00:40:08] the time to set that example, I would have had, I would have no idea like how to try to

[00:40:14] make this work.

[00:40:16] I, I, this is not me sucking up or any weight.

[00:40:20] She's sucking up.

[00:40:21] I am very thankful for the Raveli family, for your mom and dad, and even your brother.

[00:40:26] Even though the first time I met him, I had to slap him in the back of the head.

[00:40:31] They have fought like big sister, little brother since literally the first time they met.

[00:40:35] Pretty, pretty much true.

[00:40:37] Pretty true.

[00:40:38] No, but your, your family offered something that I did not have growing up, which was peace.

[00:40:44] Um, and it was kind of joked about, we, we, I think sometimes we still laugh about it, but

[00:40:49] anytime we go to your mom and dad's house, I always end up taking a nap.

[00:40:53] I always end up taking a nap.

[00:40:56] And it's not because somebody had said, I don't remember which one it was.

[00:41:00] It was my dad.

[00:41:00] He thought you, he thought you were doing it because they were so boring.

[00:41:03] Boring.

[00:41:05] And that's not it at all.

[00:41:06] It's just because, um, the same feeling that I get at this house that we've built, um, with

[00:41:12] the peace and just the connection of people and all that stuff is the same, same thing that

[00:41:18] I get at your parents' house.

[00:41:19] You know, there's no screaming and hollering.

[00:41:21] There's no fighting.

[00:41:22] There's no throwing things.

[00:41:23] There's just peace, you know.

[00:41:26] And stability.

[00:41:26] Yeah.

[00:41:27] And stability.

[00:41:28] Which again, to me, it's, it's one of those things that like, it depends on how you view

[00:41:33] it.

[00:41:33] Cause I do remember a time when you, at least to me lamented, like I was a homebody and

[00:41:39] I wasn't like a partier and I wasn't as outgoing as you were.

[00:41:43] But on the flip side of that, there's stability.

[00:41:47] Like I, yes, I am the homebody.

[00:41:49] I am the person who'd rather just have like a couple of friends.

[00:41:52] Like we, we go through this every, every time you arrange a party for like a birthday or

[00:41:56] something with me.

[00:41:57] And you're always like, what do you want to do?

[00:41:58] And I'm like, I really just kind of want to be at home with like a couple of close friends.

[00:42:02] Yeah.

[00:42:02] I can't, I still 20 years later, cannot wrap my head around the fact that Phil never wants

[00:42:08] a birthday party and he doesn't want anything for Christmas and he doesn't want anything

[00:42:12] for his birthday.

[00:42:13] Don't you dare.

[00:42:16] Don't you dare say that out loud.

[00:42:22] We are moving on from this topic.

[00:42:25] Okay.

[00:42:27] Um, anyway, I can't think of what I was going to say because I heard Phil's comment in his

[00:42:32] head so loud that it drowned out everything else.

[00:42:37] And, and we have to move on because people are going to wonder what the hell they're doing

[00:42:42] and talking about.

[00:42:43] Stop.

[00:42:44] You're being ridiculous.

[00:42:47] The look on your face.

[00:42:48] I wish I had a picture of, that was amazing.

[00:42:51] Well, maybe you can go get a screen grab from the live.

[00:42:54] I probably can't actually, because it was like, I felt my soul jump a little bit.

[00:43:05] I knew exactly what you were thinking.

[00:43:07] But in any case, you know, it really is just.

[00:43:12] I am.

[00:43:13] Look at Joe's comment while I finish my part.

[00:43:15] I am thankful for my family too.

[00:43:20] Even through all the hard crap that we've gone through and still growing through.

[00:43:27] Although right now there are a couple of people I just want to strangle.

[00:43:31] You want to strangle me half the time and I'm still here.

[00:43:37] Right now I'm counting in my head who I want to strangle.

[00:43:41] Throat punch.

[00:43:41] That's what I kept saying yesterday.

[00:43:43] It was I'm going to throat punch people.

[00:43:45] She was handing them out like Tic Tacs yesterday.

[00:43:49] Yeah, yesterday was a hard day.

[00:43:51] But anyway, I, even through all the turmoil and the instability and the craziness of my family,

[00:44:00] somehow I keep finding reasons to include them in my life.

[00:44:05] I know.

[00:44:06] It's weird.

[00:44:07] Have it.

[00:44:08] Yeah.

[00:44:08] Well, it is who I am.

[00:44:11] But, you know, I do have a lot that I'm thankful for.

[00:44:15] And I try not to get bogged down by the bad things that are happening or the unfortunate things

[00:44:20] or the uncomfortable things or whatever.

[00:44:22] I try to continue to look to the good because that's not the energy that I want in my life

[00:44:29] and that's not the energy that I want to keep in my body.

[00:44:32] And, you know, I have to have the ability to control that.

[00:44:36] And I do have the ability to control that and think about more positive things and, you know,

[00:44:43] looking at the good things.

[00:44:44] So I am every Thanksgiving, you know, it's ingrained in us since we were kids in school

[00:44:50] to think about the things you're thankful for.

[00:44:53] And I don't think that people go into the Thanksgiving week or season or day not thinking

[00:45:00] about those things that they're thankful for.

[00:45:02] I do think sometimes it's hard for people to concentrate on those things or even reflect

[00:45:07] on them in just like a little thought of having something to be thankful for.

[00:45:13] But we all have stuff that we're thankful for.

[00:45:17] Yeah.

[00:45:17] I was just thinking about your experience last night.

[00:45:20] How did I know that that was going through your head?

[00:45:22] How you gave someone something to be thankful for.

[00:45:26] I don't know if you even want to get into it.

[00:45:27] Yeah.

[00:45:28] So last night, this is...

[00:45:31] You have to tell the whole story.

[00:45:32] I have to tell the whole story because the weirdness of the whole thing started with a craving.

[00:45:40] So I am a stress eater.

[00:45:41] I always have been and I'm trying to not be a stress eater.

[00:45:46] But last night, all I wanted was a cup of coffee and a Tatino's pizza because I haven't

[00:45:51] had a Tatino's pizza in a really long time.

[00:45:55] It was a very stressful day dealing with family and all that stuff.

[00:46:01] And point of order, when you and I were first married, money was so crazy tight with the two

[00:46:07] of us that there was no ordering out pizza.

[00:46:11] So we always used to get a stack of Tatino's pizzas for $1.50 each and keep those in the

[00:46:16] freezer.

[00:46:16] And that was pizza night for us.

[00:46:18] Right.

[00:46:21] So I put things in my coffee, vitamin stuff, whatever.

[00:46:27] And I was out.

[00:46:28] So I had to go to CVS and pick that up.

[00:46:31] Well, I looked and they didn't have Tatino's pizza.

[00:46:34] So I decided...

[00:46:36] Well, I had two thoughts.

[00:46:37] I had, you really don't need a Tatino's pizza.

[00:46:40] There's nothing food value nutritious, nothing in there.

[00:46:45] This is just totally a junk food craving.

[00:46:49] You really don't need it.

[00:46:49] And I was like, screw that.

[00:46:51] I'm going to Dollar General and getting a Tatino's pizza.

[00:46:54] So I did.

[00:46:55] So I went down the street and only thing...

[00:46:57] I don't even have a cart.

[00:46:58] It's just one pepperoni Tatino's pizza.

[00:47:01] Look, whoever got me for the Christmas Santa thing, please don't send me a Tatino's pizza.

[00:47:07] Well, there'd be no way to keep them frozen, first of all.

[00:47:09] That's okay.

[00:47:10] It's not even food.

[00:47:11] So if it unfreezes, it's not going to go bad.

[00:47:14] That's concerning.

[00:47:16] True.

[00:47:17] It's not even real cheese.

[00:47:18] The cheese doesn't even melt.

[00:47:20] Oh, that's heartbreaking.

[00:47:22] I ate it.

[00:47:23] And you put that in your body.

[00:47:24] I ate it.

[00:47:26] Anyway, so I'm in line and the line is like really long and it's 730 at night.

[00:47:30] And they've opened up the second register and there's obviously something happening at one of the registers.

[00:47:37] This old lady is bent over at the counter and she's on the phone with customer service, it sounds like.

[00:47:47] And the girl behind the counter is helping her as much as I guess she can.

[00:47:50] And it's on speaker and she's trying to listen in to what they're saying.

[00:47:54] And what they're doing is trying to get her balance on her food stamps.

[00:48:02] Little old lady.

[00:48:04] Okay.

[00:48:04] I'm talking like reminds me of my mom.

[00:48:07] Little old lady.

[00:48:09] And she come to find out she only has $2 on her food stamps.

[00:48:13] And she was very upset because she couldn't hear on the phone when her food stamps were going to be put back in.

[00:48:21] So she's literally got like four or five bags of food.

[00:48:24] There's nothing crazy, you know, stupid in this, in her bags.

[00:48:29] There's nothing that she really doesn't need.

[00:48:31] And it really looked like her Thanksgiving dinner was in these bags.

[00:48:35] And when I'm talking Dollar General Thanksgiving dinner, think about that.

[00:48:39] It's like cups of macaroni and cheese, cups of mashed potatoes.

[00:48:43] Nothing of real nutritional value.

[00:48:45] But that's all she could afford.

[00:48:47] And she only had $2, which meant that she was going to have to go put all of her food back and not have any food for the rest of the week.

[00:48:54] Because her food stamps, I guess, didn't recharge for another week.

[00:49:00] So you have one cashier over there who's laughing about it.

[00:49:04] And the little lady is crying and in tears, turning back to the line, saying that she's so sorry for holding up the line.

[00:49:11] And I was not only pissed at some of the people that were acting the way that they were.

[00:49:16] So I just walked up and I said, how much does she owe?

[00:49:19] And the lady said she owed $56.

[00:49:22] $56.

[00:49:25] And that's all she had for the rest of the week.

[00:49:29] Like, that's her food.

[00:49:30] That's all she had.

[00:49:31] And she's crying.

[00:49:33] And she's bent over the counter.

[00:49:34] And all of her cards are out.

[00:49:36] And she's trying to pay for her food.

[00:49:37] So I hand the lady my Tatina's pizza.

[00:49:39] And I was like, can you add this to it?

[00:49:41] And I'll pay for her groceries.

[00:49:43] And, you know, so she's like, oh, you're an angel.

[00:49:46] Thank you so much.

[00:49:47] And I said, I'm not an angel.

[00:49:48] And she goes, well, how would you know if you're an angel?

[00:49:51] And whatever.

[00:49:53] So I told her that everyone needs help every now and then.

[00:49:59] Everyone needs help from people, whether it's monetary, whether it's a hug, whether it's whatever.

[00:50:05] Everyone needs help sometimes.

[00:50:08] And I was okay spending $60 on a Tatino's pizza.

[00:50:15] And I walked into the house and I said, I looked at Phil and I said, this pizza was $60.

[00:50:20] And he asked me, why was it $60?

[00:50:24] So I told him the story.

[00:50:26] And then I replied to her.

[00:50:28] I'm like, no.

[00:50:29] You got a free pizza for a $60 active charity.

[00:50:33] And that's okay.

[00:50:34] Like, you know, when you came home and told me that, first of all, it's the most in character thing for you to do.

[00:50:42] Me knowing who you are.

[00:50:45] But it's also, to me, it's just kind of like, in the grand scheme of things, if $56 to help somebody out breaks us, we're doing something wrong.

[00:50:55] I mean, literally, you know, yesterday, I had the same, almost the same conversation with Piper when, yesterday, when we were trying to get the screen protector on her phone.

[00:51:10] And she was frustrated because we wasted one.

[00:51:13] We put it on, it wasn't straight.

[00:51:14] We pulled it off and it got, it had hair on it.

[00:51:17] So you had to throw it away.

[00:51:18] And I explained to her, I'm like, honey, I'm like, if a three pack of screen protectors for $12 is what sinks this family, I'm doing something wrong as a dad.

[00:51:27] That I don't have that in our budget.

[00:51:31] So to me...

[00:51:34] I'm listening.

[00:51:36] To me, what you did was like, especially given that we are approaching Thanksgiving, it was like the truest expression of what this season is supposed to be.

[00:51:49] It is, you know, like, whether you thought about it in the moment or not, we have been very blessed.

[00:51:56] And we do have everything we need.

[00:52:00] We don't hurt for anything.

[00:52:02] You know, like, it's not a common occurrence.

[00:52:05] As a matter of fact, it reasonably almost never happens where we go to the grocery store and we have to think to ourselves, oh, I've only got $100.

[00:52:12] We better make this stretch.

[00:52:13] I mean, we go to the grocery store and we buy what we want, throw the car down and we're done.

[00:52:17] Yeah.

[00:52:18] Because, you know, we work very hard and we save our money and we don't spend things frivolously.

[00:52:25] And I guess for all those reasons, to put that $60 into context, I burned more than that taking the three of us out to eat every single time.

[00:52:34] Well, and there was no question in my mind.

[00:52:36] I mean, when she said $56, I was like, oh, okay.

[00:52:42] But this is where I'm going to start crying.

[00:52:46] It was coming.

[00:52:48] Probably not.

[00:52:49] Let's see if I can make it through.

[00:52:50] I saw my mom at that register and, yep.

[00:52:55] I told you it was coming.

[00:53:01] It's been a really hard two weeks with my mom.

[00:53:07] I'm sorry.

[00:53:08] I told y'all I was going to cry.

[00:53:12] And I was so pissed at this cashier that was on the other side who was laughing at this old lady who had $2 in her account and couldn't get her groceries.

[00:53:22] And didn't know, like, she was listening to see when it was going to be, when her food stamps were going to be replenished.

[00:53:34] And she got super upset because she couldn't hear it and now she had to call again and listen again.

[00:53:40] And she was already embarrassed because she didn't have the money to pay for her food and people were being ugly.

[00:53:46] And I, what my mom is going through right now, I could see her, I could see that happening to her.

[00:53:55] And I would have, I would hope that somebody would have stepped out of line and helped her.

[00:54:03] And so everything that we've been going through in the last two weeks, I've had a lot of people reach out.

[00:54:14] And I've had a lot of people not reach out.

[00:54:19] And it's been, it's, it's been hard because you're constantly being judged by the decisions you make.

[00:54:31] And really, I just need somebody, and I have had this, I just need somebody to say, you know,

[00:54:37] you're doing a pretty good job for a 40 year old woman who's never had to deal with this kind of stuff and the decisions that you have to make.

[00:54:47] And that woman just needed a hug and to know that somebody had her back and not be laughed at.

[00:54:53] And I just, like I said, I just saw my mom and I was hoping that if that is ever her, which it has been her in the past,

[00:55:03] that somebody would just find it in their heart to help this old lady who's confused and embarrassed and sad and crying.

[00:55:12] She was crying and nobody wanted to help.

[00:55:16] Nobody.

[00:55:17] They wanted her to unpack her bags and put everything back.

[00:55:21] I was like, absolutely not.

[00:55:22] Why are we doing this?

[00:55:23] Not only is it Thanksgiving, why are we doing this to this old lady?

[00:55:29] There was no thought in my mind about, I didn't care at that point how much it was.

[00:55:33] If she had told me it was $100, I would have said, put my, put my pizza on it, please.

[00:55:37] Put my $1.50 pizza on, on the tab and let me pay for this woman's groceries.

[00:55:43] So when I gave her a hug, and she just kept thanking me and crying and thanking me.

[00:55:49] And I gave her a hug and I said, you know what?

[00:55:51] And I said this to her a couple of times.

[00:55:53] I said, everyone needs help.

[00:55:54] I said, you need your groceries, don't you?

[00:55:57] And she said, I do.

[00:55:58] I need my groceries.

[00:55:58] And I said, then don't worry.

[00:56:00] Don't worry about this.

[00:56:01] This is on me.

[00:56:02] And I said, happy Thanksgiving.

[00:56:04] And she said, you know, this is my favorite holiday.

[00:56:06] And I was like, well, good.

[00:56:08] And maybe this, maybe this is even more, you know, whatever for it to be your favorite holiday.

[00:56:16] Anyway, that's, that's my story.

[00:56:19] My Tatino's, my $60 Tatino's pizza.

[00:56:22] It was awful.

[00:56:23] By the way, it was awful.

[00:56:26] You ate it like you've been starving for a week.

[00:56:29] I did.

[00:56:30] But I ate it like, I don't know.

[00:56:35] Tatino's, y'all know, you've eaten Tatino's pizza before.

[00:56:40] But anyway.

[00:56:41] I'm pretty sure I'm still digesting a Tatino's pizza 20 years later.

[00:56:46] Probably.

[00:56:46] I'm telling you.

[00:56:48] I put it in the microwave for almost two minutes and the cheese did not melt.

[00:56:53] It is not real food.

[00:56:55] But it was, it was really good.

[00:56:57] But you, you were jonesing for one.

[00:56:59] I.

[00:57:00] I'm sorry for making everyone cry.

[00:57:02] I, I contend, and we probably about time to wrap this up.

[00:57:06] But like, I, I contend, as I said last night, that Tatino's pizza, something called you.

[00:57:14] And it wasn't your, wasn't your stomach.

[00:57:17] But something called you to be.

[00:57:18] My hormones.

[00:57:19] Something called you to be at that Dollar General at that, at that time.

[00:57:24] Oh, absolutely.

[00:57:25] You could have gone.

[00:57:25] Those things happen like that for reasons.

[00:57:27] You could have gone earlier in the afternoon.

[00:57:29] We were sitting around, fooling around mostly afternoon.

[00:57:31] I kind of leaned on you right about that time for no reason.

[00:57:34] I was like, you know, it's getting kind of, it was 7.15 in the evening.

[00:57:37] And I was like, it's getting kind of late.

[00:57:38] You should probably go out and, you know, get that done.

[00:57:41] And if you had not gone to that Dollar General to get that to Tino's in that exact window of time, you would have missed her.

[00:57:51] I don't even know her name.

[00:57:53] I didn't know.

[00:57:54] And that, you know, you see those things on YouTube all the time.

[00:57:56] All these people that are recording themselves giving a lot of money away or doing this or that.

[00:58:04] But, um, I didn't want all of that.

[00:58:07] I just, and I, and I gave her a hug and told her happy Thanksgiving.

[00:58:11] And she told me that it was her favorite one.

[00:58:14] And I said, well, good.

[00:58:14] I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving.

[00:58:17] And I left.

[00:58:18] And that was it.

[00:58:20] You know, I don't know.

[00:58:21] And then I kind of knew you were going to bring it up on the podcast today, but that's fine.

[00:58:26] The topic is being thankful.

[00:58:28] Yeah.

[00:58:28] I mean, I'm thankful that $60 didn't break the bank for me and that I could help her.

[00:58:33] And she's thankful that you decided to.

[00:58:36] Yeah.

[00:58:37] So I guess like to just kind of tile this up, like to me, being thankful has two sides to it.

[00:58:44] You can be thankful for the blessings in your life.

[00:58:47] And you can also be the blessing somebody else is thankful for.

[00:58:52] We're all misty.

[00:58:54] You can't cry.

[00:58:55] And I don't know.

[00:58:56] Joe said he's crying.

[00:58:58] This is just a cry episode.

[00:59:00] This is like Oprah Winfrey.

[00:59:01] You cry and you cry.

[00:59:02] Everybody cries.

[00:59:03] I know.

[00:59:04] I know.

[00:59:04] Well, sometimes it's overwhelming to think about what you have in your life and what you can be thankful for.

[00:59:13] It's really easy to get bogged down.

[00:59:17] Mm-hmm.

[00:59:19] Most human thing there is.

[00:59:20] I have been bogged down.

[00:59:24] I have been thankful.

[00:59:25] These last two weeks.

[00:59:25] I have been thankful.

[00:59:27] I have been thankful for new eyes and fresh doctors that are seeing things for what they are.

[00:59:33] It still doesn't make anything any easier.

[00:59:35] But I am thankful.

[00:59:39] But, yeah.

[00:59:40] So, no more tears for going into this week being thankful and blessed and all the fun things.

[00:59:48] All the things that you say at this time of year.

[00:59:50] Right?

[00:59:51] And I certainly hope our audience and our friends that we've met are going to take this time around Thanksgiving and truly enjoy and treasure that time with family.

[01:00:04] Because, you know, my father told me a long time ago just one of those things that he tried to put in perspective for teenage Phil.

[01:00:14] That teenage Phil was too much of a moron to put together.

[01:00:16] But 40-year-old Phil kind of gets it.

[01:00:18] But he always told me, he said, the two things they're not making any more of is land and time.

[01:00:24] And that is why land is always the smartest investment and time is the most precious investment.

[01:00:30] Because you don't get any more of it.

[01:00:32] So, I always think to myself, like, how we spend our time should be our greatest focus.

[01:00:41] And it's also the greatest tell of what we value.

[01:00:44] Like, if a person spends their time trying to accumulate wealth, they value wealth.

[01:00:50] And if a person spends their time, you know, like, with friends, they value friendship.

[01:00:55] And I try to spend as much of my time as I'm able with family.

[01:00:58] Because this family is what I value the most.

[01:01:03] So, food for thought.

[01:01:04] Spend your Thanksgiving with, spend your Thanksgiving and spend that time with the thing that means the most to you.

[01:01:14] Cheesecake?

[01:01:18] I'm joking.

[01:01:19] Okay.

[01:01:20] All right, y'all.

[01:01:20] Well, have a great Thanksgiving.

[01:01:22] Thank y'all for joining us today.

[01:01:24] Don't forget to check out the show notes for merch and all that good stuff.

[01:01:29] And, yeah.

[01:01:31] Happy Thanksgiving.

[01:01:32] See you guys later.

[01:01:33] Bye.