Raising Values: New Year, New Us

[00:00:01] Welcome to the Raising Values Podcast, where the traditional family talks. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Spotify, and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can support the Raising Values Podcast through Patreon. Phil and Gillian are behind the mic, and we hope you enjoy the show.

[00:00:29] Welcome back to Raising Values.

[00:00:31] Hello. Sorry we're late.

[00:00:33] I told y'all we were coming.

[00:00:34] I know. It was my fault. It's totally my fault. But anyway, glad you're here. Thank you for joining us today.

[00:00:40] I had to wait for the talent. I'm just the producer.

[00:00:44] Yeah, the talent. Okay.

[00:00:45] Um, uh, I love how the comments, well, most of them is all Stuart. But anyway, we are here and, um, you know, just, yeah, that's it. I don't know what else to say.

[00:01:00] I'm Gillian. This is Phil.

[00:01:03] Okay.

[00:01:04] Awkwardness.

[00:01:04] I'm gonna have to take this by the way.

[00:01:05] Wow, you got a lot going on in there.

[00:01:07] I know.

[00:01:08] I was, I'm a producer. I produce.

[00:01:11] Okay, well, new year, new us. I saw your, I, so I don't, I know what we wanted to talk about today. Um, but I had no idea that you had done all this. I don't pay you enough.

[00:01:25] You don't?

[00:01:26] I don't pay you enough. Um, anyway.

[00:01:29] Podcast producers don't get paid typically. We're just the unsung heroes, I guess.

[00:01:33] I'll cook you dinner.

[00:01:35] Really?

[00:01:36] Really?

[00:01:36] Yeah.

[00:01:36] Aw.

[00:01:38] Anyway, new merch, links are in the, links are in the show description. There's a chat for all of you.

[00:01:45] I love how you run through this.

[00:01:47] Yes.

[00:01:47] You don't run through it like I do.

[00:01:48] Well, that's because if I don't, we're not going to get to the topic.

[00:01:52] Yeah.

[00:01:52] There's a chat for the, uh, for the patrons on a app called signal. If you're interested, just get in touch with us and I'll get y'all booted into raising values. If you're into wholesome family stuff and matter of facts, if you're a sociopath.

[00:02:07] Sound reasonable?

[00:02:08] That sounds pretty much accurate. Um, I love the raising. I mean the matter of facts chat. I love, um, turning it on silent.

[00:02:19] And then just seeing, um, yeah. So, okay. So wait, go back to those comments, Olivia.

[00:02:26] You're killing me. I'm going to take full control.

[00:02:27] I'm sorry. Okay. You can take full control, but this is funny that, um, that they have like nominated Stuart to address the majority.

[00:02:36] Sounds like a representative form of government to me.

[00:02:38] Yeah. When did this happen? I must've missed it. I need to turn notifications back on.

[00:02:42] Did, did Stuart agree to this or was he voluntold?

[00:02:45] So can I just say one thing that's really bugging me?

[00:02:48] Of course you can.

[00:02:49] The camera is not level.

[00:02:51] Then you should have been here to level it.

[00:02:53] All right. What's next? Cypress Survivalist. You can take this one.

[00:02:58] So Cypress Survivalist is a non-profit. We, I say we have started, I mean, we've started filing paperwork, but the, uh, the act of starting a corporation or a non-profit in this country has made me detest our, uh, our legal process more than I already did.

[00:03:16] So like we're still, even last night, we're still in the process of filing paperwork, paying fees so that.

[00:03:23] Yeah. It's a lot. I didn't realize like, you know, I've, I've said this before. I've worked in non-profits my entire career.

[00:03:30] But you've never been the one on the ground, like filing the paperwork for it.

[00:03:33] I never started the non-profit or filing the reports or the paperwork or anything like that. And man, they catch you for everything. You want a 501c3 so that donations can be made to you? Oh, you got to pay $275 for that. You want to incorporate with the state? Oh, that's another, what was it? $50, I think. It was.

[00:03:52] I'm telling you. It's just fee after fee after fee. And it's like, okay. Oh, but wait, there's more. And it's like, God dang.

[00:04:00] I'm telling you the mafia should have gone into government. Um, what else is. They actually probably did.

[00:04:05] What else is super crazy is the amount of spam that we get from different like insurance companies and banks. And, um, you need this and you have to have that.

[00:04:16] And then you have to do your research because some of this stuff is fake and they want you to, um, yes, Joe, you have to pay your state and federal, um, fees to become a non-profit.

[00:04:30] Filing fees.

[00:04:31] Yep. I didn't realize it was so much that you had to do to become a non-profit.

[00:04:37] But I still think, um, this is the way we should, we should have gone anyway is to become a non-profit.

[00:04:43] I think our, um, the curriculum that we're going to write and the, the way we're going to handle our events and all that stuff.

[00:04:51] And, you know, the future business plans definitely need a, um, legal side to it so that we're not, I don't know.

[00:05:02] So we're protected.

[00:05:03] Flying by the seat of our plans.

[00:05:04] Yeah. So we're protected.

[00:05:04] So anyway, Cypress Survivalist, that event's coming up March 8th.

[00:05:09] Um, you'll start to see, um, working on flyers and all that stuff this week before all hell breaks loose with my family.

[00:05:18] And then you'll start to see event announcements for that.

[00:05:21] And if you're in the Southeast Louisiana region, join us, come say hi, come attend a class or whatever.

[00:05:29] It'll be fun.

[00:05:30] It'll be fun.

[00:05:32] All right.

[00:05:33] What's next?

[00:05:34] To the topic.

[00:05:36] Oh, before we do, we've already talked about how we, we, this show is going to go on hiatus for a little bit.

[00:05:43] There's, there's the possibility that like, that, that what was for a while a really consistent streaming day for Matter of Facts might change here and there.

[00:05:53] I mean, you know, I don't think yours is going to, I don't think Matter of Facts will be.

[00:05:57] I'm allowing for the fact that it might.

[00:05:59] Okay.

[00:06:01] All right.

[00:06:01] But as far as raising values goes, this is our last show for a little while.

[00:06:07] Um, I don't know how long a little while will be.

[00:06:09] I can't, I wish I could give our listeners, uh, and our viewers more of, um, a timeline of when we'd come back or, um, I will definitely make announcements.

[00:06:20] I will, I will try to be really good about putting it on Instagram and, um, Facebook.

[00:06:28] You know, you know, we can only, we can only schedule, um, events and stuff on Facebook.

[00:06:37] What is it?

[00:06:37] 24 hours before the show starts.

[00:06:39] So, I mean, just follow us on Instagram and social media, Facebook, all that stuff, YouTube, um, and look for the notifications.

[00:06:49] There might be a week where it's like, okay, yeah, I really feel like I can do something this week.

[00:06:53] Um, but I don't know.

[00:06:55] I don't know what the next week is going to hold.

[00:06:58] I don't know what the next six months is going to hold.

[00:07:00] So we're just kind of in a holding pattern.

[00:07:03] So, yeah, but it is what it is.

[00:07:07] Life happens, you know?

[00:07:09] Yeah.

[00:07:09] And on the heels of that was the topic that you proposed, which is quite possibly the most stereotypical, like, end of the year, beginning of the new year topic in all the history of podcasting.

[00:07:21] But I actually enjoy doing stereotypical sometimes.

[00:07:24] I enjoy it because I don't have to think about what the topic's going to be.

[00:07:28] I enjoy it because it actually, like, as busy and complicated as our lives have become with the number of moving pieces we're managing,

[00:07:38] it's fun to me to be able to stop for a second and think about what did we actually accomplish in the past year and what are we hoping to accomplish in the next 12 months?

[00:07:50] You know what I'm saying?

[00:07:50] It's a chance to, like, stop.

[00:07:54] I was about to use Army analogies.

[00:07:58] But it's a moment to, like, stop and reorient yourself and figure out where you're going.

[00:08:03] I know.

[00:08:04] And a lot of people, you know, I put in my notes because I'm going to read my resolutions.

[00:08:11] And that's what I was trying to get at is a lot of people don't do resolutions.

[00:08:15] A lot of people call them goals.

[00:08:16] A lot of people do whatever.

[00:08:18] But a lot of people don't do them at all.

[00:08:20] They just see this as a time.

[00:08:22] It's just another day.

[00:08:23] The year changes and all that stuff.

[00:08:25] And as I get older, I realize it is just another day.

[00:08:30] You know, nothing shifts.

[00:08:33] The earth doesn't move.

[00:08:34] The sun is still in place.

[00:08:35] You know, none of that happens.

[00:08:37] It's literally just a piece of paper.

[00:08:40] I mean, it affects timelines and dates and things like that.

[00:08:44] But it's not like, you know, you don't feel like this great big, like, poof of magic at midnight.

[00:08:54] Do you?

[00:08:54] When the ball drops, no.

[00:08:56] It's nothing.

[00:08:56] It's, I mean, to me, most of what's on the calendar is the days we mark an occasion.

[00:09:03] So whether you mark it on, you know, January 1st or any other day to me is less relevant than the fact that it's a moment, like I said, to kind of reflect and reorient and then figure out what direction you're going to go.

[00:09:16] Like there's a, I'm going to go ahead and go down that analogy.

[00:09:19] But like when you're orienteering, which is like figuring out where you're going on a map, there are moments where you have to stop and verify your position.

[00:09:29] You know what I'm saying?

[00:09:29] Because like when you're traipsing through the woods or you're going over landmarks, it's very easy to get turned around and anybody that's ever gotten lost in the woods can attest to that.

[00:09:37] So it's very important to like stop and look around you and say, okay, there's a stream there.

[00:09:42] There's a hill there.

[00:09:43] Those are on this map.

[00:09:45] And I can figure out based on everything around me, I can figure out where I am.

[00:09:48] And then you can ask yourself, okay, this is where I wanted to go.

[00:09:53] What direction do I have to take to get there?

[00:09:55] And I look at this moment on the calendar in terms of like our lives and personal growth.

[00:10:02] It's a moment to stop and say, okay, from where I started a year ago, this is where I ended up.

[00:10:09] Was this where I wanted to end up?

[00:10:11] Did I take a wrong turn?

[00:10:12] Did I get off path?

[00:10:13] Did I exceed my path and I walked too far or did I fall behind?

[00:10:19] Where am I right now?

[00:10:21] And where was I trying to go?

[00:10:23] And is that still where I want to go?

[00:10:25] And is that path, is going in this direction still going to get me in the direction I want to go?

[00:10:29] Like I look at life as a constant opportunity to try to self-improve and grow.

[00:10:36] And no one can tell you what growth is.

[00:10:39] No one can tell you what your path is.

[00:10:41] You have to figure that out yourself.

[00:10:42] But you can't figure that out if you don't know where you're at and where you're going.

[00:10:46] So to me, that's what the new year is.

[00:10:50] It's a chance to stop and say, am I still going in the direction that makes me happy as a person?

[00:10:57] Because a lot of people get stuck in this perpetual rat race of go to work, make money, spend money.

[00:11:03] You know, they get stuck in the trenches of life.

[00:11:08] And they don't ever pull back and say, is this really what makes me happy?

[00:11:13] Like what makes me happy?

[00:11:15] What do I want to put my life into?

[00:11:18] What's really esoteric big stuff like what's my legacy going to be?

[00:11:22] Or what am I going to leave behind that means something?

[00:11:25] A lot of people never, they never get that far.

[00:11:28] They don't think that far ahead.

[00:11:33] Well, yes.

[00:11:34] And I love how you said all that because I feel like this last year was the biggest year of my life for me.

[00:11:42] I like, I wrote down a couple of things, new goals for this year, something to consistently work towards and try to improve upon and things like that.

[00:11:55] And a lot of my goals for 2025 are just a continuation of 2024.

[00:12:00] I feel like 2024 was like a huge year for me.

[00:12:04] I grew spiritually, like in my own self.

[00:12:09] I questioned a lot of things.

[00:12:13] I researched a lot of things.

[00:12:15] I became happier with myself.

[00:12:19] And I started doing things that scared the hell out of me.

[00:12:23] And I really did ask a lot of questions.

[00:12:28] And I know that sounds really cliche and stupid.

[00:12:30] But I did.

[00:12:31] I was always so scared to ask questions and debate with myself on the things that I was taught growing up, on whether or not these things are healthy for me.

[00:12:44] I feel like 2024 showed me that I could commit to things.

[00:12:51] And I could really make changes in my life physically and spiritually.

[00:12:56] And so my 2025 goals are really just to continue that, but to look into other things that push me even harder and further on this journey that I started.

[00:13:10] And what I'm trying to do or trying not to do is have these little bitty, and I say they're little bitty, but like, you know, my dad's surgery that's coming up.

[00:13:20] I'm trying not to let those things influence me.

[00:13:24] So what I've done these last few months of this year is to learn how to, I saw this reel yesterday.

[00:13:32] I woke you up so that you would watch this reel.

[00:13:35] Remember last night?

[00:13:37] And it was all about the grown-up woman who does anything and everything to guard her peace.

[00:13:49] That her peace is where she refreshes, where she refocuses, where she grows and all that stuff.

[00:13:57] And if you've known me for a while, if you're a close friend of mine, even family, because I know my sister's watching,

[00:14:05] you know that when my peace is threatened, I disappear.

[00:14:12] I come into this house.

[00:14:15] I'm usually in a fetal position, maybe sometimes on Phil's lap, trying to regain that peace, regain and build a wall,

[00:14:30] which is not a bad thing to do, around my peace again.

[00:14:32] Because, you know, being an empath and being able to feel everyone's, I mean, there's a phrase that we use with kids a lot of times,

[00:14:45] and it's big emotions.

[00:14:47] Ooh, you've got some big emotions today.

[00:14:48] Ooh, you've got some big sadness or you've got some big mad today.

[00:14:52] Big emotions.

[00:14:53] And I am still, I am a grown woman with big emotions, and I feel everything.

[00:15:00] And so finding my peace has been being able to be comfortable finding my peace and guarding that has been a main focus in 2024 for me.

[00:15:12] And not feeling like I have to apologize because I drop off the map, or I don't return phone calls, or I don't return texts,

[00:15:22] or I don't want to go out with you, or I just want to go home, or whatever.

[00:15:27] Or, I love that I have done that for myself.

[00:15:31] So that will be a continuation.

[00:15:33] It's well overdue.

[00:15:34] Yeah, I think 40 years.

[00:15:36] And at least since I've been an adult, you know, I have always catered to others.

[00:15:43] I've always made sure that everyone else is good, and everyone's safe, and everyone's happy, and all that stuff.

[00:15:49] And, you know, I just kind of, I am what I am.

[00:15:53] It is what it is.

[00:15:55] I'll just take it.

[00:15:56] And then, again, end up in the fetal position, in the bed, just crying all the time.

[00:16:02] But, you know, one of the things that I started to do to regain that peace is to meditate,

[00:16:12] which I've always been like this real big, like, oh my God, you meditate?

[00:16:17] Like, what?

[00:16:18] That's crazy.

[00:16:20] But when I tell you that meditation is an experience in itself, at least it is for me,

[00:16:26] to, I even put a sign on the door, because I meditate outside.

[00:16:29] I have a grounding garden in the backyard now, where I love the beach.

[00:16:35] I love the sand.

[00:16:36] I love the salt water.

[00:16:38] I don't like swimming in the ocean.

[00:16:39] It scares the hell out of me.

[00:16:41] There is an actual fear of the ocean.

[00:16:43] I don't like swimming in water that I can't see the bottom.

[00:16:46] So it's a big fear.

[00:16:50] And so I created this grounding garden, which is just sand.

[00:16:54] It has a cover, so it's not used as a cat litter box during the day or night.

[00:16:59] Where I just, I sit there barefoot and I meditate.

[00:17:03] I listen to my music.

[00:17:04] I put a sign on the door that says, please don't open this door.

[00:17:07] Please do not come out here on the porch.

[00:17:09] Don't ask me to answer any questions.

[00:17:11] This is my time.

[00:17:12] It takes as long as it takes.

[00:17:15] If, Phil, if you need to go smoke your pipe, go in the front yard.

[00:17:17] Piper, if you need a question, you got another parent here.

[00:17:19] You can go ask your daddy.

[00:17:21] I need that time.

[00:17:23] And 30 to 45 minutes doesn't sound like a lot to do any work.

[00:17:30] But it has totally changed my outlook on things.

[00:17:35] It's totally changed my life.

[00:17:37] It really has.

[00:17:38] I love, love meditating.

[00:17:42] So, you're just kind of staring at me like, okay, what else is she going to talk about?

[00:17:46] I'm just letting you, I'm just feeding you the road.

[00:17:48] I know.

[00:17:49] So, yeah.

[00:17:50] So, meditation has been a big, big part of my life this year.

[00:17:56] I find it, like, I want to meditate in other places.

[00:18:01] Like, I want to go to the beach and meditate.

[00:18:03] And when we go to the mountains, I want to meditate in the mountains.

[00:18:05] And I feel like you get different things depending on where you meditate.

[00:18:11] I love meditating in my garden.

[00:18:13] And I would, there was a day where I thought it was just, I don't know.

[00:18:19] It was just like something was pulling me to go.

[00:18:21] It was during the summer.

[00:18:23] It was super, super hot outside.

[00:18:26] I think it was like July.

[00:18:27] Super hot.

[00:18:28] And we had the shower come through.

[00:18:31] And all of a sudden, the temperature dropped.

[00:18:33] It felt like 10 degrees.

[00:18:35] It was amazing.

[00:18:36] There was no lightning.

[00:18:37] There was no thunder.

[00:18:38] There was nothing.

[00:18:38] It was just a consistent, beautiful rain.

[00:18:41] And I went outside and I sat my butt on the front yard close to the wood line.

[00:18:48] And I just sat there and meditated in the rain.

[00:18:51] And it was, it was such an incredible, like, I don't know.

[00:18:54] It was just, it almost, it, ah, gosh.

[00:18:57] I'm sure people are starting to go, okay, she is cuckoo bananas.

[00:19:00] You are.

[00:19:01] I know I am.

[00:19:02] My hippy dippy witchy woo woo stuff.

[00:19:05] But if that is something that I can continue to do throughout my, the rest of my life,

[00:19:11] I think that is going to be the most powerful, positive influence on my life is to continue

[00:19:16] to meditate.

[00:19:17] You know, you hear people say that all the time.

[00:19:19] Even doctors are starting to say to people, well, have you tried meditation?

[00:19:23] Have you tried to calm your spirit and calm your nerves through meditation?

[00:19:28] And when I first started doing it, I was like, okay, how the hell, how the hell am I supposed

[00:19:32] to meditate?

[00:19:33] I just sit here and om.

[00:19:35] And that's not, that's actually not what I do at all.

[00:19:38] I turn on some very pretty relaxing music and I do my best to just clear my mind and

[00:19:46] let my mind go wherever it's going to go and kind of just follow through with it.

[00:19:51] And a lot of times I'll answer my own questions during meditation.

[00:19:55] A lot of times I will work out problems that I'm having.

[00:20:02] Don't look at the comments.

[00:20:03] We're going to go through a bunch of those.

[00:20:04] I work out a lot of the problems that I'm facing through meditation.

[00:20:10] I talk to myself, you know, in my own head about ways to handle situations.

[00:20:18] And then I come away refreshed and renewed and happy.

[00:20:21] And I don't know.

[00:20:22] I feel a difference in me.

[00:20:24] I don't know if when I come in, do you see a difference?

[00:20:27] I feel like you should, because I feel like I'm almost glowing when I come back in.

[00:20:32] I think between the meditation and just like finally at 40, learning to prioritize your

[00:20:39] peace over other people's immediate gratification.

[00:20:42] I think those two things in tandem have done your mental health a lot of good because you

[00:20:47] have always been that person that, you know, selflessly prioritizes everybody but yourself.

[00:20:53] But how many times in our nearly 20 years together have I said, you can't pour from an empty cup?

[00:20:59] Like you at a certain point.

[00:21:01] And this comes from a person who's also very selfless.

[00:21:05] Like I'll give to you and Piper until I have nothing left.

[00:21:07] But I'm supposed to give to you and Piper until I have nothing left.

[00:21:11] But, you know, like boss, coworkers, friends, extended family, neighbors, everybody else, there's a limit.

[00:21:20] At which point I will not pour anymore.

[00:21:22] I'm like, nope.

[00:21:24] My cup that was reserved for people is empty.

[00:21:27] I'm done.

[00:21:28] I'm saving this much for me and my family because I have to.

[00:21:31] And I feel like you've had to learn how to do that.

[00:21:34] Well, yeah.

[00:21:35] And when I was going through my postpartum, I was the one who continued to say that to myself all the time.

[00:21:44] It's okay to take a break.

[00:21:45] It's okay to go take a nap.

[00:21:47] It's okay to hand Piper off to her dad.

[00:21:49] It's okay to hand Piper off to her grandparents because I cannot give her my best self if I'm like this.

[00:21:57] And it, I mean, you talk about mom guilt.

[00:21:59] I know moms, you know, anyone in the chat that's listening or even listening when you download this.

[00:22:05] Mom guilt is hard.

[00:22:08] It's hard, hard, hard.

[00:22:11] But I wish I had learned this whole meditation technique and what has helped me now in my 40s.

[00:22:19] I wish I knew that in my 20s and 30s.

[00:22:21] I think I'd be a totally different person, maybe less anxious, maybe.

[00:22:25] I do.

[00:22:27] I do think, and you and I have talked before about how like, I see this trend in modernity where people are like overindulging in, call it mental stimulants.

[00:22:41] Like everybody's staring at a screen.

[00:22:42] Everybody's plugged into everything.

[00:22:44] Everyone's hyper social.

[00:22:46] Everyone's focused on social media.

[00:22:47] Everyone's doing all these things and their brains are just drowning in dopamine every day.

[00:22:53] And then we have the rise of anxiety.

[00:22:56] And then we have the rise of depression and all these different things.

[00:22:59] So, yeah, I do think there is something to be said for those moments in time where you do just kind of take time to yourself.

[00:23:08] You know, like in a lot of communities you hear people say kind of almost sarcastically like go touch grass.

[00:23:15] There's something to just turning everything off and then just letting your brain unwind for a couple of minutes.

[00:23:21] It is that that moment of peace to reorient yourself is I think it's necessary.

[00:23:29] I don't think a lot of I think I don't think a lot of people do it tragically.

[00:23:33] I don't yeah, I don't think our our society and I don't know.

[00:23:39] Maybe more people are getting back to it.

[00:23:42] I think it is a practice that was lost hundreds, thousands of years ago.

[00:23:49] I do.

[00:23:50] I think it was lost.

[00:23:51] But then if I don't think it was that far ago, though, I mean, if you think so, hear me out, though.

[00:23:56] If you think about even 100 years ago, well, OK, maybe a little more 100 years ago, call it call it pre urbanization in Western society.

[00:24:06] So we're talking like mid to late 19th century.

[00:24:09] So about 150 years ago, people were still by far and large.

[00:24:13] The average career was a subsistence farmer.

[00:24:16] Most people grew their own food.

[00:24:17] They were intrinsically connected to the land.

[00:24:20] There was no there wasn't the the lights and the flashing things of the city to constantly like wind them up like we have now.

[00:24:29] Everyone really was, I think, much more in tune with nature because they lived with nature.

[00:24:35] They had to be like you and I have you me and Piper have had this conversation a dozen times about how daylight savings time.

[00:24:43] There's this eternal myth that daylight savings time was instituted for farmers.

[00:24:47] And that's nonsense because farmers wake up when the sun comes up and they go to sleep when the sun goes down and they work until the sun goes down.

[00:24:54] So, like, I feel like in a time where people were lived in the environment or were less insulated from it, they were much more in tune with the world around them.

[00:25:05] They may not have intentionally taken time to meditate, but they lived in tandem with nature, not trying to subdue it, if that makes sense.

[00:25:14] Yeah.

[00:25:14] And what I was trying to say, which is not what you were.

[00:25:19] Obviously, you didn't think.

[00:25:20] Well, you didn't let me finish and you just jumped in.

[00:25:23] What I was saying is this whole mindset of being with oneself and meditating.

[00:25:30] Not necessarily.

[00:25:31] You don't have to meditate in nature.

[00:25:32] We have a friend that meditates in her bathtub because that's the only time she gets by herself to be by herself.

[00:25:40] And so she just, that's it.

[00:25:43] That's when she meditates.

[00:25:45] But being able to, like, I think a lot of people are just so caught up in the rat race and what are we doing here?

[00:25:52] And they are disconnected from nature.

[00:25:54] They are disconnected from this earth and the universe and all that stuff.

[00:25:58] And so, but the thought of something so easy, but so cliche.

[00:26:05] Like, it's like, I swear, sometimes the things that pop into my head, it's like, I don't know.

[00:26:12] Should you say that?

[00:26:13] Can it test?

[00:26:14] So for a long, long time, humans ate bugs, right?

[00:26:19] I used to cook bugs at the insectarium in the little bug diner that we had.

[00:26:26] You fed me a grasshopper cookie that I still haven't figured.

[00:26:28] It was a cricket.

[00:26:28] It wasn't a grasshopper.

[00:26:29] Whatever.

[00:26:30] You wouldn't have liked a grasshopper.

[00:26:31] Anyway, we used to eat bugs until it became barbaric.

[00:26:36] It became this idea of, oh my God, you are a lower class citizen because you're eating bugs.

[00:26:42] I personally like to eat bugs.

[00:26:44] I think dragonflies are one of the most delicious animals on this planet.

[00:26:49] Crawfish season is upon us.

[00:26:51] I am ready to go eat some bugs.

[00:26:53] But society turned that into such a grotesque thing.

[00:26:59] And I think for a long time, especially late 1800s and up until probably like the 60s,

[00:27:09] meditation, well, past the 60s, I would think.

[00:27:11] Meditating became this like weird, what are you doing, you hippie, you dirty hippie kind

[00:27:20] of thing.

[00:27:21] And so those types of people like me kind of had to go into a little bit of a hiding.

[00:27:28] They had to do it.

[00:27:30] They couldn't talk about it for one thing because it wasn't a societal norm.

[00:27:34] And I really, really hope that society can get back to that.

[00:27:39] I think at least from what I see on my stuff, you know, in my daily life, I have these friends

[00:27:46] at school that actually meditate too.

[00:27:49] And are into the hippie-dippie kind of lifestyle.

[00:27:54] It's just, I don't know.

[00:27:56] It's just, it does so much.

[00:27:57] It really does a lot.

[00:27:59] Anyway, I don't want to continue to...

[00:28:01] I have to address comments.

[00:28:03] Okay.

[00:28:03] We did get a lot of comments and I love that.

[00:28:06] And I think that's awesome.

[00:28:07] Starting with the terminal element.

[00:28:10] Why wouldn't he have liked grasshoppers?

[00:28:13] I don't think he would have liked grasshoppers because they're much bigger than crickets.

[00:28:19] I mean, I guess it depends on what species you eat.

[00:28:21] But I, sometimes I think about the gooeyness in their abdomen and depending on how you cook

[00:28:30] them, I don't know.

[00:28:31] I don't think he would have liked them.

[00:28:33] So to be fair, the reason I am so annoyed with her to this day is because I was making

[00:28:38] a dinner that evening and she came home and then from behind me said, hey, Phil, try this

[00:28:43] cookie and popped it in my mouth.

[00:28:45] I was not warned.

[00:28:46] And you loved it.

[00:28:47] No, no, no.

[00:28:48] You did.

[00:28:48] No, no, no.

[00:28:49] I was not warned what I was eating and I distinctly remember my first impression of

[00:28:53] what I told you was, I'm like, are these pecan cookies?

[00:28:56] They taste a little stale.

[00:28:59] They're pecan.

[00:28:59] Because it, okay, for anybody that's ever like, you know, made like, you know,

[00:29:03] like pecan cookies, that was about the size and the shape of the thing that was on top

[00:29:07] of the cookie that I was eating was like a, like a crushed up pecan half or whatever.

[00:29:12] I don't know.

[00:29:12] That's what my brain went to.

[00:29:14] And I was not amused that my wife didn't like tell me this is a cricket cookie.

[00:29:18] Here, try this.

[00:29:19] But we sit down and pull apart a crawfish and eat.

[00:29:23] We suck out the liver and the guts and it's...

[00:29:25] Consent is everything.

[00:29:27] I did not consent to eating the cricket.

[00:29:29] I was tricked.

[00:29:30] It was good.

[00:29:31] It was a violation of my trust.

[00:29:32] Crickets taste like sunflower seeds.

[00:29:34] Just FYI.

[00:29:36] Not to my taste buds.

[00:29:36] They do.

[00:29:37] Anytime you can cook them however you want, they're still going to taste like sunflower seeds.

[00:29:41] Roasted, whatever.

[00:29:43] Sunflower seeds.

[00:29:45] Okay.

[00:29:45] There were a couple here.

[00:29:47] I just wanted to stop and pop in on this one.

[00:29:50] Kyle said with his foot mostly healed, he's looking forward to positive healthy changes.

[00:29:53] I'm so excited for that.

[00:29:55] Kyle's been nursing a pretty significant...

[00:29:59] I don't want to say chronic, but it's been a very long-standing foot injury that has really impacted him.

[00:30:06] And it's finally starting to be on the mend, which is a blessing.

[00:30:10] I'm glad for that.

[00:30:12] Joe Oliveira.

[00:30:12] For a dad, husband, happy doesn't matter.

[00:30:14] Family health and happiness is what matters.

[00:30:16] But I challenge you with one thing.

[00:30:19] Family happiness is my happiness.

[00:30:22] So, like, I agree to the degree that, like, I prioritize Gillian and Piper over myself.

[00:30:29] That's a lot the way I felt like I was raised to be a husband is to prioritize my family over me.

[00:30:36] But if my family's happy, then I'm happy.

[00:30:38] And if they're not happy, I'm not happy.

[00:30:40] So, in that way, the two are kind of linked together.

[00:30:47] I don't know if you saw this one from earlier.

[00:30:50] You need to be...

[00:30:51] This is from Olivia.

[00:30:52] She said, you need to be as the Irish.

[00:30:54] We are not sad.

[00:30:55] The sadness is on us.

[00:30:57] Change it.

[00:30:57] Put on your body armor and your spiritual and mental armor as well.

[00:31:05] I feel like that's what I do.

[00:31:07] I've learned how to armor myself without it being, like, this wall that can't be crossed.

[00:31:15] And I've learned how to take the armor off.

[00:31:17] And that's one of the biggest growths that I've had this year is I really...

[00:31:23] There are situations where I know what's coming.

[00:31:26] So, like, if I'm on my way to whatever the situation is, I am in constant, like, talking to myself, like, we're going to do this.

[00:31:37] This is going to be great.

[00:31:38] We're going to get through this.

[00:31:40] I guess prayer, if that's what you want to call it, kind of.

[00:31:44] But, yeah, putting on my armor, knowing what I'm about to face, knowing that the things that are going to be said are not going to be fun.

[00:31:53] They're not...

[00:31:54] You know, most of the things that are going to be said are going to be easy to anger.

[00:32:01] I'm going to get angry very easily with the things that will be said.

[00:32:04] And I have to just, whew, woosah myself down.

[00:32:09] And that's also been another big area of growth is learning and accepting that dealing with certain people, I'm going to get the same thing out of them no matter what.

[00:32:24] And I think that has been one reason why I can continue to deal with certain people because I don't want to push everybody out of my life.

[00:32:36] I have a lot of toxic people in my life.

[00:32:38] Not a lot.

[00:32:39] I've gotten rid of a lot of toxic people.

[00:32:41] But I still have toxic people in my life.

[00:32:43] And I know that they're toxic.

[00:32:44] I know what their toxicity is.

[00:32:47] Like, I know what their poison is.

[00:32:49] And I've learned how to deal with that.

[00:32:51] I've learned how to armor myself up to deal with their toxicity.

[00:32:56] It is what it is.

[00:32:58] What are the other ones that you saw?

[00:32:59] Because there are a lot.

[00:33:00] Your father-in-law said that he knew that being married to me would get to you.

[00:33:03] It's not Phil at all.

[00:33:07] Phil is my peace.

[00:33:09] Phil is literally the thing that keeps me grounded.

[00:33:15] I would probably swirl off into space if I didn't have Phil to ground me here on Earth.

[00:33:22] You know, it's kind of funny.

[00:33:23] I just thought of this.

[00:33:24] And maybe this went through your mind just now, too.

[00:33:26] When Phil and I first started talking.

[00:33:28] Oh, yes.

[00:33:29] That did go through my mind.

[00:33:31] Go ahead.

[00:33:31] Okay.

[00:33:32] When Phil and I first started talking, this is going to sound so, oh my gosh.

[00:33:35] We were so young and dumb.

[00:33:37] Oh, no.

[00:33:37] Never mind.

[00:33:38] Now I know where you're going, but I'm going to point out something else.

[00:33:40] Okay.

[00:33:41] He was in Iraq and I was in Hammond, Louisiana.

[00:33:44] I was at school.

[00:33:46] I was in college.

[00:33:47] And we would chat on Yahoo Messenger.

[00:33:51] This is before text messages.

[00:33:53] This is before all of that stuff.

[00:33:55] We never did AOL, although you say we did AOL.

[00:33:58] I didn't have AOL.

[00:33:59] We did Yahoo Messenger.

[00:34:01] And we would talk about our feelings.

[00:34:04] We would talk about what it was like to talk to this person and how are you feeling and where

[00:34:09] is this relationship going and, you know, normal stuff that you would talk about on a date or

[00:34:14] on the phone or stuff like that.

[00:34:16] And I would always comment.

[00:34:19] No, you would comment that you sometimes you felt like you were floating.

[00:34:23] Right?

[00:34:24] It was you that said this.

[00:34:26] This was 20 years ago.

[00:34:28] And I was like, what does he mean?

[00:34:30] Like, he feels like he's floating.

[00:34:33] And you would always tell me that my head was too far in the clouds.

[00:34:36] That was once I came home.

[00:34:39] Okay.

[00:34:39] And that was the thing I was going to bring up.

[00:34:41] Yeah.

[00:34:42] You would always say, oh, your head's too far in the clouds.

[00:34:44] You got to come down to earth.

[00:34:45] You got to come down to reality.

[00:34:47] You're way, way up there.

[00:34:49] And you're living in this world of, like, make-believe.

[00:34:55] And now we're at a point in our relationship where you've, not in a bad way, but you've changed

[00:35:02] my ankle so I don't float away.

[00:35:04] Like, you're my grounding point.

[00:35:05] That turned into your anger.

[00:35:07] Yeah.

[00:35:07] That you did resent when we first got together.

[00:35:10] Because you were a dreamer and to a degree still are.

[00:35:15] And I am a brutal cast iron realist in a lot of ways.

[00:35:21] Like, I...

[00:35:21] I needed that.

[00:35:23] But when I look at things, like, I dream.

[00:35:26] I have dreams and goals.

[00:35:28] But they're always, like, very tightly constrained within.

[00:35:31] I know I can do this.

[00:35:33] And this might be possible.

[00:35:34] And this over here is just never going to happen.

[00:35:36] It's not possible.

[00:35:37] Or the likelihood of it happening means it's not worth chasing.

[00:35:41] And I feel like...

[00:35:42] I find it interesting that 20 years ago, you would get frustrated at me for being your

[00:35:48] anchor.

[00:35:49] And now, you're like, thank God I have my anchor.

[00:35:52] Thank God I have this guy here who's my anchor to keep me grounded.

[00:35:56] Absolutely.

[00:35:58] Yeah.

[00:35:59] So Joe said...

[00:36:00] And then we'll get back to topic after we catch up.

[00:36:03] Joe said, not all meditation is sitting quietly sometimes.

[00:36:07] It's just a walk in the woods.

[00:36:08] I...

[00:36:09] I...

[00:36:09] That's Phil.

[00:36:10] I feel this, though.

[00:36:11] Like, I've had this discussion with coworkers a lot.

[00:36:14] Whenever we're getting ready to...

[00:36:15] You know, whenever I'm getting ready to take some time off work.

[00:36:18] And they're all like, where are you going?

[00:36:20] Where are you going to do?

[00:36:20] A lot of times, we're going camping.

[00:36:22] And I'm like, I'm going to go sit in the woods for a couple of days with minimum cell

[00:36:27] phone usage, smoke some cigars, drink some bourbon, and listen to the squirrels chitter

[00:36:33] in the trees.

[00:36:33] And that is like my heaven for a couple of days.

[00:36:37] Because it is...

[00:36:38] You know, like as high pressure as my job has become in the last several years, and as demanding

[00:36:46] as it is, and with the number of people I have to talk to and deal with on a daily basis,

[00:36:52] it is very refreshing to me to have that moment in time where I'm like, I don't have to talk

[00:36:57] to anybody unless I want to.

[00:36:59] And I can just not be staring at a computer screen for a couple of days.

[00:37:03] I can just be in nature.

[00:37:05] I can go touch grass again.

[00:37:07] That is...

[00:37:07] That is always my ultimate refresh.

[00:37:10] But I agree.

[00:37:11] Like, to me, it's not...

[00:37:13] Meditation isn't not the goal.

[00:37:15] Meditation is a method.

[00:37:16] The point is to reclaim your peace.

[00:37:20] And however you do that, that is not a self-destructive way.

[00:37:24] I think people have to be encouraged to try to find it.

[00:37:27] Because if you don't, I mean, this world will eat you.

[00:37:31] Yeah.

[00:37:34] Oh, hold on.

[00:37:35] Would I rather beans and rice or grap as hoppers?

[00:37:38] Beans and rice every day of the week, twice on Sunday.

[00:37:40] I tell you, if you were to attend one of our events, I will be talking about the things

[00:37:45] that you can gather from nature.

[00:37:48] Okay.

[00:37:48] So, this is...

[00:37:49] I'm just...

[00:37:49] One little soapbox.

[00:37:51] That's it.

[00:37:51] It's a little bitty one.

[00:37:52] Okay.

[00:37:53] You know the show Naked and Afraid?

[00:37:55] You've watched that.

[00:37:56] Dumb show.

[00:37:56] It's a dumb show.

[00:38:00] Anyway.

[00:38:01] Sometimes we...

[00:38:02] Well, we've never watched it in this house.

[00:38:04] But I've walked into someone's house where it's like, that is what they're watching.

[00:38:07] It's like a marathon of Naked and Afraid.

[00:38:11] Those and the show Alone.

[00:38:14] And then there's another show where they're dropped off into the Alaskan frontier.

[00:38:19] And they have to survive to win the money and all that stuff.

[00:38:24] Every one of these shows piss me off.

[00:38:27] Because there really is so much to eat if you know what to eat.

[00:38:33] If you dig a little for the grubs.

[00:38:34] If you look for the caterpillars.

[00:38:36] If you catch the grasshoppers.

[00:38:38] If, you know, there are so many bugs out there that you can eat.

[00:38:43] And all these people are like losing weight.

[00:38:46] And they're starving.

[00:38:48] And they don't have any protein.

[00:38:49] Do you know how much...

[00:38:51] I mean, a cup full of crickets is more protein than fish.

[00:38:55] It's healthier for you than fish.

[00:38:59] Bugs are just...

[00:39:01] Gillian is not a WEF plant.

[00:39:03] I am not a WEF plant.

[00:39:07] I didn't even know what that was a few years ago.

[00:39:10] Until I said I wanted to teach a class on how to harvest from nature.

[00:39:15] And that...

[00:39:15] She said that to me right after this.

[00:39:17] The whole, like...

[00:39:18] Oh, yeah.

[00:39:18] Eat the bugs.

[00:39:20] And, yeah, all that was coming out in social media.

[00:39:22] And I was like, Gillian, you can't say that right now.

[00:39:25] Like, I understand what you're saying and doing.

[00:39:27] But not right now.

[00:39:28] Just, like, let it simmer for a minute.

[00:39:29] Look, all I'm saying is...

[00:39:32] You cook them the same way that you would cook chicken or meat or, you know, anything else.

[00:39:36] Or a vegetable.

[00:39:37] You saute these things up.

[00:39:39] You can fry the bugs.

[00:39:40] You can do whatever you want.

[00:39:42] You can bake with them.

[00:39:43] Ground them into a powder.

[00:39:44] Put them into your cookies.

[00:39:46] A lot of bugs taste like nuts or seeds.

[00:39:49] Seeds.

[00:39:51] The bugs that are carnivorous.

[00:39:53] That are insectivores that eat other bugs.

[00:39:57] They're really delicious.

[00:39:58] When I tell you that dragonflies are so good.

[00:40:01] We used to fry them like potato chips.

[00:40:04] And we would put them on like a salted cracker.

[00:40:09] Not a saltine, but like a cracker.

[00:40:11] With a little bit of Dijon mustard.

[00:40:12] And we would serve that in the cafe.

[00:40:14] And it was so good.

[00:40:18] The one bug that is, like, super high protein and delicious.

[00:40:23] And it's actually a delicacy in Thailand.

[00:40:26] Are the giant water bugs.

[00:40:27] They're, like, this big.

[00:40:28] Not cockroaches.

[00:40:30] They have one proboscis.

[00:40:32] You see them at the gross...

[00:40:33] I mean, gas stations a lot of times.

[00:40:35] They're huge.

[00:40:36] They're water bugs.

[00:40:37] Toe biters are one of their nicknames.

[00:40:40] They're a delicacy.

[00:40:41] They have a venom.

[00:40:42] And when you cook them and you eat them, the venom makes your mouth go numb.

[00:40:47] It's not going to hurt you.

[00:40:49] And they also taste citrusy.

[00:40:51] So, I don't know.

[00:40:53] I need to stop because I could talk about this all day long.

[00:40:58] You need to write all this down in your Harvest from Nature class.

[00:41:01] I am.

[00:41:01] That's going to be in my Harvest from Nature class.

[00:41:04] Come see me.

[00:41:05] I'll teach you all about what you can eat from nature.

[00:41:08] Sure.

[00:41:08] So, we pretty well already skipped over the being the best version of ourselves banner that I had prepped.

[00:41:19] So...

[00:41:20] See, I didn't know you had all this.

[00:41:21] I had...

[00:41:22] I took down...

[00:41:24] I wrote down a bunch of...

[00:41:29] Goals.

[00:41:30] So, I don't know when you want to kind of go over some of those.

[00:41:33] Maybe that's the best version of ourselves or baby steps to a better us.

[00:41:37] We'll just abandon the...

[00:41:41] Okay.

[00:41:42] So, obviously, we've talked about meditate more.

[00:41:45] That was my first...

[00:41:46] My first goal is to meditate more.

[00:41:47] To get back into walking because we have kind of let our exercise go down.

[00:41:54] We haven't done that a lot.

[00:41:56] I want to, this year, really, really focus on my gut health.

[00:42:00] I had to just do a round of antibiotics because I've had this sinus infection for going on probably a month and a half now.

[00:42:10] I've had this nasty sinus infection.

[00:42:11] That's why I'm still coughing.

[00:42:14] And I hate antibiotics.

[00:42:16] I understand their need.

[00:42:19] I understand why we need to take them.

[00:42:23] I have my own natural antibiotics sitting in my...

[00:42:27] That I continue to tell you you need to take.

[00:42:30] I have been taking it.

[00:42:31] I've been putting it in my drink and drinking it throughout the day.

[00:42:35] Like my entire...

[00:42:36] Like what I should take all day is in that drink.

[00:42:38] And I drink that throughout the day.

[00:42:39] But to focus on my gut health.

[00:42:41] Because we focused on our weight loss and strength training and all that stuff last year.

[00:42:48] This year, 2024.

[00:42:51] And we obviously, because of the food that we were eating, started to unintentionally focus on our gut health.

[00:43:00] But that, I've learned, has become so important and why I think my anxiety levels were so much lower than what they were.

[00:43:08] Because the food we were eating was quality food.

[00:43:10] It was actual food.

[00:43:12] The exercise was taking away all that built up nervous energy.

[00:43:20] I was a really bad guticulter.

[00:43:23] I would pick the skin around my fingers.

[00:43:26] And I don't have that anymore.

[00:43:29] Because, one, I think I'm meditating.

[00:43:31] And because I'm getting back into that whole exercise.

[00:43:35] That nervous energy is going away.

[00:43:37] No, I haven't done anything since we got out for Christmas break.

[00:43:41] But we're going to get back on that.

[00:43:44] Drink more water.

[00:43:45] I hate water.

[00:43:46] I do not like drinking water.

[00:43:48] I would much prefer coffee.

[00:43:51] Sometimes tea.

[00:43:52] There's water in coffee.

[00:43:52] Or my energy drinks, which I know my energy drinks are really bad for me.

[00:43:56] But everyone has to have a vice, right?

[00:43:57] So my energy drinks are what?

[00:43:59] That's my vice.

[00:44:01] So yeah, drink more water.

[00:44:03] Pay more attention so that we're eating or consuming, even through our skin, less additives and chemicals.

[00:44:12] Really, really watching for the things that are added to our foods and that we're ingesting.

[00:44:19] Or even like makeup, things like that, that we're putting on our body that's going through our system.

[00:44:27] That stuff.

[00:44:28] Number six, which this is in no particular order, so don't get your feelings hurt.

[00:44:32] I want more dates with you.

[00:44:34] There was a time where we would go on a date once a month, maybe even twice a month.

[00:44:40] We would find a babysitter.

[00:44:42] We would actually like go on dates.

[00:44:46] There was a time where we took a weekend trip together.

[00:44:50] We don't do that.

[00:44:51] And, you know, we joke now, but we every week on a Sunday, we go on our grocery shopping date,

[00:45:03] which is nice because it is an hour, two hours because we have to go everywhere.

[00:45:08] Wow, George Washington is watching us today.

[00:45:11] That's really awesome.

[00:45:12] Hi, George.

[00:45:14] Welcome to the chat.

[00:45:16] I love our grocery store dates.

[00:45:19] You went on the grocery store date with Piper yesterday, which is great because I went on a date with your sister yesterday.

[00:45:24] And I know that sounds really crazy, but queso and shopping was the date and I needed that date.

[00:45:32] But I want something more substantial, you know, like an intentional, not, it doesn't have to be fair hope.

[00:45:42] But something where it's just the two of us, we can go and do and have fun and be alone and reconnect because the next few months,

[00:45:54] there's not going to be a lot of reconnection.

[00:45:56] There's going to be a survival.

[00:45:58] We're going to put those Hi, My Name Is stickers back on our chest like we did when we first got married and pass each other in the night kind of thing.

[00:46:07] And I want to make sure that we're focusing on our relationship.

[00:46:13] So there's that.

[00:46:15] I want to learn one new herbal remedy per month.

[00:46:19] So like deep dive into new herbal remedies one per month and stop this constant like, oh, I need to learn about that.

[00:46:27] Oh, I need to learn about that because I have other things that I need to do.

[00:46:30] I have Cypress Survivalist.

[00:46:31] I have this podcast and I don't want to see go away.

[00:46:36] I have a job.

[00:46:37] I have a family.

[00:46:38] I have everything else.

[00:46:38] But I am one of those people that needs to constantly be learning something new.

[00:46:46] Journal more.

[00:46:48] I've never journaled.

[00:46:49] I don't.

[00:46:50] It's not something that I've ever thought I need to take the time to do.

[00:46:55] I know a lot of people journal.

[00:46:57] I know it's a part of their meditation strategy to reconnect with themselves and write down their thoughts and all that.

[00:47:05] But I've never journaled.

[00:47:06] And I started, what I started to do was I would journal.

[00:47:12] I've started to journal after I meditate so that I could write down all the things that came out of that meditation.

[00:47:20] You know, all the thoughts that I've had, all the conversations with myself, all the problems that I may have solved or more questions that I've started to ask myself to kind of think about and things like that.

[00:47:33] And what's been really cool is going back and looking at what I wrote meditation, you know, a few meditations back and seeing, oh, I actually did accomplish this.

[00:47:44] I actually did find the answer to this.

[00:47:45] Look at how this worked out kind of thing.

[00:47:47] So it has been really cool.

[00:47:49] And then the last thing I have on my list is to start reading again.

[00:47:53] I put down my books.

[00:47:55] I am a huge bookworm.

[00:47:58] I don't know.

[00:47:59] Sometimes I just go through these phases where I don't feel like reading.

[00:48:02] Sometimes my brain is just not there.

[00:48:05] Like I just, the thought of reading a book is, I don't know.

[00:48:10] It just seems like such a task.

[00:48:12] But I know that if I just picked up the book, I wouldn't be able to put it down.

[00:48:15] So I need to just pick up the book.

[00:48:16] She'd be reading until 3 o'clock in the morning.

[00:48:19] Yeah.

[00:48:20] Can't attest.

[00:48:23] So those are my goals for this year.

[00:48:26] Meditate, journal, drink water, focus on my gut health, go on more dates with you, look at the chemicals that we're putting in our body, exercise more.

[00:48:37] You know, I think that's probably on most everyone's list to do.

[00:48:42] And a lot of those things are the things that I started doing last year that I want to continue to do.

[00:48:48] Go on more dates was also on my list.

[00:48:53] And I think the reason, at least for me, that I continue to fall into that trap of like not dating you enough is just the fact that like because the three of us are such a close-knit family.

[00:49:03] You know what I'm saying?

[00:49:04] There is that constant pull of like wanting the three of us to be together all the time.

[00:49:10] Yeah.

[00:49:10] But that's, I know that's, it's one of those moments where it's like, I know intellectually, rationally, I need time alone with you.

[00:49:20] But I still continue to have, and you talked about mom guilt or like I, there is a tiny little bit of guilt that comes with spending time with you alone.

[00:49:30] Why?

[00:49:31] Because I've, because.

[00:49:32] Because we're not with her.

[00:49:33] Yeah.

[00:49:33] Oh, trust me.

[00:49:34] I, I get that.

[00:49:36] And, and even as I acknowledge how important it is and how much I enjoy it and how much we desperately need to make time for it.

[00:49:43] It's, I still have that, I have that duality in my nature where it's like, you know, like I feel like a lot of people, they want to get away because they're trying to get away from their families.

[00:49:53] They don't want to, they want time away from, yeah.

[00:49:56] The, in the, in the, in the signal chat this morning, I think it was Josh who started it, but it could have been Nick or could have been Stuart.

[00:50:06] I forget.

[00:50:06] Forgive me for not remembering who to attribute it to, but somebody said, you know, they feel, they, they see a lot of their coworkers like looking for opportunities to get away from their family or looking for opportunities to stay out, lay, work, OT, whatever.

[00:50:20] And he commented like how he can't, he couldn't imagine not being married to his best friend.

[00:50:27] And I feel that I, I, I love to spend time with my family, but that also includes her.

[00:50:34] So that's, that's why I like, like some people, some people's, some of y'all's kids out there are little bastards, but let me be kind and charitable and just say that some of y'all's kids out there would have benefited from a little bit more of a whooping when they were young.

[00:50:47] And you probably would have too, if your kids are like that, but like I, we have an amazing kid.

[00:50:54] She's, she's cool.

[00:50:56] She's smart as hell.

[00:50:57] She's a beautiful little girl and she's going to be.

[00:51:01] She's not a little girl.

[00:51:01] That's the thing.

[00:51:02] Okay.

[00:51:03] That's why, well, that's what I'm saying is that, that's why our relationship, the three of us is where it's at because she's able to keep up in the conversation.

[00:51:13] She's able to hold on, like continue the, that's keeping up the conversation.

[00:51:19] At, yeah.

[00:51:20] You know, she's, she's, she's an old soul.

[00:51:24] She's been around a long time.

[00:51:27] But I still need to spend more, I still need to make it more of a priority to have the two of us have time by ourselves.

[00:51:32] And I, and the, the really cool thing is she gets that.

[00:51:36] She totally under, she even has told us, would y'all go on a date?

[00:51:40] Can y'all please just go on a date?

[00:51:42] I will stay home.

[00:51:44] Like she's able to stay home by herself now.

[00:51:45] So that's nice.

[00:51:47] Um, but me being me, a change of scenery is a lot of what I need sometimes.

[00:51:54] Sometimes I just get stuck in the mundane, like, okay, I'll go meditate in the backyard or we'll go to the same restaurant we always go to or, you know, whatever.

[00:52:03] You don't like going to the movies.

[00:52:04] So that's not really an option.

[00:52:06] Although I know you will, if that's the thing, but seeing something new, going someplace new, doing something different, maybe a comedy show at the Beau Rivage would be something fun to do.

[00:52:17] I don't think she should stay home alone at 12 years old for like six to eight hours by herself.

[00:52:22] I think she probably does need to go somewhere.

[00:52:25] Um, and you know, the thing that just popped into my head was a lot of times we make plans to go on dates and something else happens.

[00:52:34] Something that has to take precedent.

[00:52:36] You know, we were going to go on a date last weekend because she was going to be in New Orleans spending the night for her friend's birthday party.

[00:52:44] Well, friend got the flu.

[00:52:45] So now it's this weekend, not this weekend, but next weekend.

[00:52:49] Well, that's the same weekend that my father is having his heart surgery.

[00:52:54] And so we were going to have a night to ourselves, almost like our own little mini vacation.

[00:52:59] And now I have to go have a family meeting and, um, talk about the future of my, my parents with family members.

[00:53:09] And it's like, so anyway, it's a little frustrating a lot of times, um, because we do make plans to be together.

[00:53:17] And those plans have to be pushed back again and again and again, because the, the season we're in, in our life demands our attention a lot of times.

[00:53:28] And as much as I do love to run home and disconnect, um, sometimes I just, you just can't disconnect.

[00:53:37] Uh, yeah.

[00:53:39] I mean, I have so many different do not disturbs on my phone.

[00:53:43] I have one for meditation, which does not allow anyone in like nothing.

[00:53:46] Um, I do not use the, um, driving one for driving.

[00:53:51] I actually use that one for like a total escape where, um, if someone texts or, well, I think it's mostly texts, but, um, there's only Piper and Phil can get through with that one.

[00:54:08] And everyone else is going to get the text message that says, oh, hi, um, I've turned my phone off to notifications.

[00:54:14] If this is an emergency call Phil, like I am disconnected and you're not getting through.

[00:54:20] And I like using that one.

[00:54:22] That one's nice because it kind of helps with the guilt of, um, not picking up the phone for people who urgently need my attention at that moment.

[00:54:33] Which is also something I've had to coach you on over the years is to say, there's almost no one in your life that truly qualifies as an emergency that doesn't have my phone number.

[00:54:43] Yeah.

[00:54:44] Matter of fact, there is no one.

[00:54:46] I know, everyone has your number.

[00:54:47] Well, but here's the thing of it.

[00:54:49] If it's work, if it's friends, if it's whatever, it can, if it's neighbors, it can wait 10 minutes.

[00:54:55] It doesn't have to be right now.

[00:54:57] If it's a life or death emergency, they have my number and they'll call me if it's that important.

[00:55:02] And if they don't call me, it wasn't that important.

[00:55:06] Um, so.

[00:55:13] Yes.

[00:55:14] Olivia was saying, looking ahead, don't allow Cypress survivalist to be a distraction from dating.

[00:55:18] That's actually another thing that's on my radar.

[00:55:21] Like, I want to date you more.

[00:55:23] I want to date you more.

[00:55:25] Well, no, I want to date you more, but I, I, I'm really looking forward to Cypress survivalist.

[00:55:31] I feel like.

[00:55:32] I am too.

[00:55:34] That tone didn't indicate that.

[00:55:36] No, I am.

[00:55:36] I thought you were looking at me because my stomach is growling so loud.

[00:55:43] But I'm, I'm really looking forward to, to this nonprofit we've started.

[00:55:47] I, I see.

[00:55:50] I am still a little bit overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work that's, that's having to be done to get this up and moving.

[00:55:56] But I'm really looking forward to what it could turn into, where it could go.

[00:56:01] So, I feel like eight years ago when I started down like my own personal journey, I was trying to get, I was trying to wake up people to a lifestyle that I kind of took for granted and didn't see as being anything unusual.

[00:56:18] And now I see that while I've reached a lot of people, I haven't reached the people around here.

[00:56:26] I haven't reached the people in this community and these people need that just as much as everybody else does.

[00:56:32] I'm not set up for donations yet, Stuart.

[00:56:36] Stuart.

[00:56:37] That's the 501c3 status that I just applied for day before yesterday.

[00:56:43] With the IRS.

[00:56:44] Yeah, with the IRS.

[00:56:45] Yes.

[00:56:46] Um, once we are set up with that, then I have to bring that to the bank and get the, the account, the, the, um, whatever, the account.

[00:56:55] There's a lot involved with setting up a nonprofit.

[00:56:58] And the funny part of it is that it, it truly is the setting up of the nonprofit that has been so overwhelming, at least for me, because you've done a lot of the heavy lifting yourself.

[00:57:09] But, like, as far as, like, the whole what to educate, how to educate, what to, what information to curate, like, I had all that, I had 90% of it done in the afternoon.

[00:57:19] Like, it really was just talking about the things that I've come to believe over the last eight years.

[00:57:26] But, I want to see where that goes.

[00:57:28] And for me, I'm excited for it.

[00:57:30] And for me personally, like, I, a year ago, because I thought about this last night, on Matter of Facts, I set a goal for myself a year ago that I was going to, like, attend a firearms training class.

[00:57:42] I have not been in a professional, I have not been in a professional self-defense training setting since Iraq.

[00:57:53] It's been that long.

[00:57:54] And I had set that goal for myself that, like, you know, I need, I need to go back into a classroom, put myself in the hands of somebody that knows more than I do, and let them tell me how screwed up or all the screwed up habits I've developed as firearms handling over 20 years.

[00:58:13] That's a long time.

[00:58:15] You didn't do it this year.

[00:58:16] No, I didn't.

[00:58:17] I set that as a goal for myself.

[00:58:19] And it just, life happened.

[00:58:21] It kind of slipped away, you know.

[00:58:24] Yeah.

[00:58:24] Because, I mean, the problem is, is that a full tilt, no BS firearms training class, first of all, I might have to travel for it.

[00:58:31] It might be, it very well might be a half a day to a day of driving to find one, depending on where I want to go.

[00:58:38] There's not a lot down here in southeast Louisiana.

[00:58:41] There's a couple.

[00:58:42] I'm looking into them.

[00:58:44] But, you know, it will be $200 to $500 for the class, plus probably another $500 to $600 worth of ammunition.

[00:58:55] It's just, it's an expense.

[00:58:56] So, I get, I got into that same trap that I do with a lot of things where it's like, well, I really want to do this, but it's going to cost $1,000.

[00:59:04] Where else would that $1,000 be better spent?

[00:59:07] And I talk myself out of it.

[00:59:09] But it is something that, not just firearms training, but like, I just, I really want to take the opportunity to like, try to push my knowledge.

[00:59:18] And I know a lot, but I know a lot of people that know a lot more than I do, too.

[00:59:24] And it's something that like, I for, for myself, but also as we go down this road to Cyprus survivalist, I feel like I'm feeling additional pressure.

[00:59:33] Like, if I'm going, if we're going to do this, I have to be on top of my game.

[00:59:38] I have to really be able to speak to these topics efficiently and effectively and know that what I'm telling these people is correct.

[00:59:47] So, I feel like, you know, a lot of what I did with Matter of Facts for eight years where I felt, because I'm getting up in front of people on the internet, I'm telling them these are the things you should do.

[00:59:59] I had to constantly, like, critique myself and let Stuart critique me a lot of times.

[01:00:04] And take it on the chin when I said something that wasn't right and get better.

[01:00:09] Because I had to be better for the people I'm talking to.

[01:00:12] Are you laughing at Stuart?

[01:00:13] Because I'm trying not to look at what he just commented, because I don't want to start laughing.

[01:00:17] Yeah, what he just commented was, that was directed at me.

[01:00:24] It slipped away.

[01:00:26] Slipped away like sending Rabelais fresh roasted coffee beans or boiled peanuts.

[01:00:31] You know what?

[01:00:32] I know.

[01:00:33] As soon as she gets the boiled peanuts, I'll roast some coffee.

[01:00:37] If he's out in that parking lot today, we will stop and get boiled peanuts.

[01:00:41] Okay, it's a date.

[01:00:43] Okay, see?

[01:00:44] Stuart, we're going on a date for boiled peanuts.

[01:00:48] And he will roast you some coffee and we will send it.

[01:00:51] You deserve that.

[01:00:52] You deserve that.

[01:00:54] Now, I think for Cypress Survivalist, I am excited about it.

[01:00:57] I will be completely honest with you.

[01:01:00] The amount of workload that it has created has been a little daunting.

[01:01:04] And not so much like the paperwork of filings and minutes and agendas and things like that.

[01:01:12] That hasn't been so daunting.

[01:01:14] What gets me is the social media.

[01:01:16] And I know that Becca has said that she'll pick up social media and stuff, which I'm totally fine with.

[01:01:23] I am okay with letting go of things and not having so much control over what happens with things that maybe I started or conceived this idea of or whatever.

[01:01:38] And handing that off to people and letting them do that.

[01:01:42] But I think for me, the biggest hurdle is going to be getting our name out there at first.

[01:01:48] There's a lot of things that we can do.

[01:01:50] And there's going to be some times where we're uncomfortable, like going on the radio to talk about the event.

[01:01:56] Or possibly, you know, WWL does a lot of, like, here's some events coming up kind of things.

[01:02:03] And they'll do a little interview.

[01:02:05] Sometimes it's 5 o'clock in the morning.

[01:02:06] Whatever.

[01:02:09] But sometimes I worry that I've overtasked myself.

[01:02:12] You know, and then you throw in there a caretaker of my parents.

[01:02:17] And not even a full-time caretaker of my parents.

[01:02:21] But enough to where I am pulled away from daily tasks and family that need to be done to help manage their health and manage this time of their life.

[01:02:37] So, you know, it's little things.

[01:02:40] It's finding people that have walked through this before with their parents.

[01:02:47] It's finding people who have started a nonprofit.

[01:02:51] It's talking to people who are in this stage of their marriage or with their child or whatever.

[01:02:58] I mean, we have one that's starting high school next year.

[01:03:01] You know, January is going to be a crazy month for us.

[01:03:05] It's also the longest month.

[01:03:06] Am I wrong?

[01:03:07] I mean, January feels like it's 1,000 years long.

[01:03:09] And then February and then you blink and it's May and school's over.

[01:03:15] But January is the longest month.

[01:03:17] And in January, we have...

[01:03:20] Piper has her testing, her entrance testing for high school.

[01:03:26] She has her...

[01:03:27] We have our family interview for the high school.

[01:03:31] You know, and then you have the surgery and the recovery and then mom and my birthday's in there.

[01:03:39] I do have a birthday coming up.

[01:03:41] It's not a big extravagant 40th birthday, but I do have a birthday coming up.

[01:03:47] I also get the day off for my birthday this year, which is nice because it's on Martin Luther King Day.

[01:03:53] But I think if I were to just have one goal, one goal would be to focus on keeping my head above water.

[01:04:04] And by doing that, being able to say no to things.

[01:04:10] No, I can't do this.

[01:04:11] You know, one of the things that I like to tell my students and some of my friends is no,

[01:04:16] especially like my seventh graders who are about to go off to high school and their whole world is about to change.

[01:04:23] Which is no is a complete sentence.

[01:04:26] And you don't have to give any explanation.

[01:04:29] You don't have to explain anything to anyone about why your answer is no.

[01:04:35] Because no is a complete sentence.

[01:04:37] That's it.

[01:04:37] No, period.

[01:04:39] And I have to be better about saying no.

[01:04:44] I can't do this.

[01:04:45] No, I don't want to go do that.

[01:04:47] No.

[01:04:47] And I have been better.

[01:04:55] Look who's 40.

[01:04:56] I'll be 41.

[01:04:58] 41, Stuart.

[01:04:59] Old lady.

[01:05:00] I'm an old lady.

[01:05:02] I am past middle age.

[01:05:04] I think I have the opposite problem, though, is that I need to learn to say yes more often.

[01:05:10] Because my default position, stop.

[01:05:13] Stop it or I'll take it back.

[01:05:15] I didn't say anything.

[01:05:16] Your eyes are loud.

[01:05:18] My subtitles are on?

[01:05:20] Your subtitles are on.

[01:05:21] Okay, keep going.

[01:05:22] I'm listening.

[01:05:22] I need to be better about saying yes.

[01:05:24] Because my default position a lot of times is I tend to default towards like doing the

[01:05:35] same things over and over and habit and my comfort zone.

[01:05:38] And I know that.

[01:05:38] Like that's part of being your anchor.

[01:05:41] But I also need to learn and push myself to like try to embrace new things occasionally.

[01:05:48] I mean, look at the near panic attack I had over setting up this non-profit.

[01:05:53] I know.

[01:05:54] That was crazy.

[01:05:55] Not what I expected.

[01:05:57] Well, but again, it is really one of those things of like it is well and massively outside

[01:06:02] of my comfort zone.

[01:06:04] Going on the radio, if we wind up doing that, is absolutely way out of my comfort zone.

[01:06:10] We'll go together.

[01:06:11] There's a lot of what we're fixing to do with this non-profit that is completely and totally

[01:06:17] out of my comfort zone.

[01:06:18] And I've put a tremendous amount of faith and trust in like you and Becca and Ross to help

[01:06:25] push me along and get me through all this until it becomes my comfort zone.

[01:06:30] But it's not.

[01:06:31] It's way outside.

[01:06:34] I, you know, like at work a lot of times I get, I get told by coworkers about like, you

[01:06:40] know, how intelligent I am and how I can figure all these things out and how there's certain

[01:06:44] parts of my job, like statistical data analysis that I'm not only, I know I'm very skilled

[01:06:49] and I'm told I'm very skilled and I'm complimented on how fast I can get some of these things

[01:06:55] done that other people struggle with.

[01:06:58] But I keep telling everybody, I'm like, yeah, you just got to remember that like I'm at my

[01:07:02] happiest being the quiet little computer nerd in the corner.

[01:07:05] Like, please don't ask me to go and go, go into the front office and talk to senior leadership.

[01:07:10] I am not comfortable with that.

[01:07:12] I really don't want to stand in a room full of, you know, like high ranking people at my agency

[01:07:19] or higher headquarters.

[01:07:20] That is, I am shivering the entire time.

[01:07:24] It's, it's deeply uncomfortable for me.

[01:07:26] Yeah.

[01:07:27] I give me my work, stay out of my way.

[01:07:30] Let me have my quiet time to, to do what I do.

[01:07:32] I am, I'm happy.

[01:07:34] I'm content.

[01:07:35] Put me through six hours of meetings with people and I am so emotionally drained to

[01:07:39] the end of the day.

[01:07:40] I'm done with everything.

[01:07:41] But I know not only for my career, I've had to embrace that because it's a part of

[01:07:49] my job now.

[01:07:50] For this nonprofit, it's not enough to begrudgingly push myself.

[01:07:56] I have to learn to be more social and outgoing.

[01:07:58] I have to learn as we continue to try to forge like community partnerships.

[01:08:04] I have to learn how to deal with other people and how to be welcoming and inviting and not

[01:08:09] the, the quiet aloof guy that sits off in the corner and lets you run the show.

[01:08:13] I know I have to do all that.

[01:08:16] It will never be easy for me, but I know it's necessary.

[01:08:20] It'll get easier.

[01:08:22] Once you start doing it, it'll start to get a little bit easier.

[01:08:25] I'm sure.

[01:08:26] But like that is, that's a goal of mine.

[01:08:28] It's not even, none of these are goals for like this year.

[01:08:31] This is like what I start off the show talking about where it's like, I see where I am today.

[01:08:37] I see where I came from, but I also see where I want to go.

[01:08:41] And that's that a journey of personal growth is like trying to catch the horizon.

[01:08:49] You never will.

[01:08:51] The horizon will always be in front of you.

[01:08:53] But the point is to continue to move towards it so that you're not just sitting and stagnant

[01:08:57] and wallowing like you.

[01:09:00] That's why I started off shows talking about like personal growth and goals and everything.

[01:09:05] Because to me, it's like the whole point of life is always to become a better version of yourself.

[01:09:11] We will never be perfect, but we can always aspire to be better versions of ourselves.

[01:09:17] Better, better husbands, better wives, better friends, better, you know, sons and daughters,

[01:09:24] better coworkers.

[01:09:25] We can always aspire to do better.

[01:09:26] And there's nothing wrong with admitting I'm not perfect.

[01:09:30] I have work I could be doing.

[01:09:32] To me, the only shortcoming, it's not falling short of your goal, but it's giving up.

[01:09:38] Yeah.

[01:09:39] Like when you accept this is as good as it gets.

[01:09:41] I'm never going to do any better.

[01:09:42] That's when I say, I'm like, now we are failing.

[01:09:46] Because the point is not to become perfect.

[01:09:48] It's just to become a little bit better.

[01:09:52] Good place to end it?

[01:09:53] I think so.

[01:09:54] Good place to end it.

[01:09:55] You and I have to go look for boiled peanuts and, I don't know.

[01:10:00] I'm sure we'll-

[01:10:00] Nothing else.

[01:10:00] I'll go buy peanuts and boil them myself.

[01:10:02] I've never done it, but I will do that for you, Stuart.

[01:10:04] I will boil peanuts.

[01:10:06] We will vacuum seal them and I will send them.

[01:10:09] Where do we even find peanuts still in the shell?

[01:10:12] You can go to the grocery store and get that.

[01:10:14] Oh, I haven't seen them there when I've looked.

[01:10:16] Have you looked?

[01:10:17] Yes.

[01:10:18] For peanuts?

[01:10:18] Yes.

[01:10:19] Okay.

[01:10:20] Okay.

[01:10:22] We'll figure it out.

[01:10:23] Anyway.

[01:10:25] I really, really want to take a second to just thank you all for, well, first off, being

[01:10:31] here today.

[01:10:32] I don't think this is the end of Raising Values.

[01:10:34] I really don't think this is the end of Raising Values.

[01:10:37] I think just, I guess I'm just asking for everyone to just remember that life happens.

[01:10:46] And I think I'm talking more to myself.

[01:10:52] Sometimes things happen.

[01:10:54] Sometimes people are in your life for a season.

[01:10:56] Sometimes opportunities are in your life for a season.

[01:10:59] And I'm not excited.

[01:11:05] I'm not excited at all about what is about to happen.

[01:11:09] I'm not excited about this season.

[01:11:11] I think it's going to be a really hard emotional season.

[01:11:14] Damn it.

[01:11:14] I'm going to start crying.

[01:11:18] Over a year ago, we started Raising Values.

[01:11:20] And Phil asked me if I had enough to talk about.

[01:11:24] So, and you did.

[01:11:27] You said, do you have, do you think you have enough that we can continue a show?

[01:11:31] That it's not just going to be a couple of episodes.

[01:11:33] Do you think we can meet once a week and record?

[01:11:37] Do you think that there's enough there?

[01:11:38] And I said, oh, I think there's plenty of stuff there.

[01:11:41] Look at my life.

[01:11:42] I could write a book.

[01:11:44] The book is still being written.

[01:11:46] I think I, you know, not trying to be big headed or whatever.

[01:11:54] I have a hard time finding people who go, have gone through the same things that I have

[01:11:59] gone through in my life.

[01:12:01] And I know they exist.

[01:12:02] I know they're there.

[01:12:03] And it's always, it always catches me by surprise when I sit down and talk to someone and they're

[01:12:08] like mirroring the same episodes that they had as a child or in their early 20s or when

[01:12:16] they got pregnant and had children or, you know, taking care of their elderly parents.

[01:12:20] It's, um, it's always surprising to me that other people are there.

[01:12:24] And I feel like that this podcast, um, brings that to light for a lot of people.

[01:12:32] So anyway, it's not goodbye.

[01:12:35] It's just, um, it's just bear with us until I can get my bearings again.

[01:12:42] And, uh, keep us in your prayers.

[01:12:44] Keep my dad in your prayers.

[01:12:46] My mom in your prayers.

[01:12:47] Me and my sisters in your prayers.

[01:12:50] Um, I know that this surgery is, it's done every day, multiple times a day.

[01:12:57] Uh, doctors have perfected open heart surgery.

[01:13:02] Um, but my dad is not healthy.

[01:13:05] He's not going in to this surgery with, he's not going in healthy.

[01:13:13] And that's the scary part.

[01:13:15] And, uh, so anyway, I don't mean to end the show in tears and in depression and sadness.

[01:13:23] It's just something that I, uh, I know that is about to happen.

[01:13:30] And it just so happens to, to be happening at the beginning of a new year where we set our

[01:13:37] goals for the year to come to better ourselves and grow in ourselves.

[01:13:44] Um, it's kind of sad that, that the last Sunday of the year happens to be the last episode that

[01:13:53] we'll put out for a while.

[01:13:55] Uh, but anyway, I encourage you to please, please, please.

[01:14:00] This is what I always tell family and friends that I want to be connected with.

[01:14:05] Um, to message, to continue to message me, to pull me out of my darkness.

[01:14:12] Um, especially when I have to hide away to find my peace, I will not turn the notifications

[01:14:19] on for matter of facts signal chat because that is a thousand messages a day signal chat.

[01:14:28] I love all of you in there, but I can't, I can't turn all notifications, but notifications

[01:14:35] in our raising value patron chat is there.

[01:14:37] If you're on signal, find me there.

[01:14:40] If you have my number, I encourage you to please text me and, um, check in and, uh, yeah, that's

[01:14:50] probably not the nicest place to end an episode.

[01:14:55] Um, so anyway, you get one less cry out of me for a while and that's it.

[01:15:03] And we will see you when we see you.

[01:15:06] Thank you all for listening and that's it.

[01:15:10] Happy new year.

[01:15:13] Love you guys.

[01:15:14] See you later.

[01:15:15] Bye y'all.

[01:15:15] Bye.