Parents on a Mission with Richard R Ramos

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[00:00:10] Welcome in PBN family I don't have a title for what it is we're doing

[00:00:38] So we're going to call this thing Parents on a Mission We have a great guest called Richard R. Ramos He's here to talk parenting It's not a topic that we touch on very often Here and there, it's inevitable if you've got a family You're doing Prepper stuff that the kids get involved But sort of a focus sort of honed in Topic set like that

[00:01:05] Parents on a Mission is actually Richard Ramos' book And he'll get into all that later in the show But that's what I wanted to do tonight guys I wanted to talk about this crazy thing And I wanted to really lay out the whole intro to the show By talking about how crazy it has been to be a child And how crazy it has been to be a parent In the last five years You know what I mean?

[00:01:34] So I think what I'd like to do Richard, welcome to the show man Hey, thanks for having me, I appreciate it No problem, no problem I kind of changed my mind mid-sentence I said, you know what? I'm going to set up this sort of last five years Of parental and childhood chaos And then I realized, why do it without you next to me To sort of bounce ideas and experiences off of, right? But like I mentioned before the show

[00:02:02] It was just sort of, you know Almost like setting the special north on the compass Like parents, parenting And childrening has like changed In some pretty big ways In the last five years And you know, things like COVID Things like the civil unrest Social upheaval You know, the cultural sort of Whatever it is

[00:02:32] I don't know The cultural battles that we've been facing As a nation All these little The weird thing is All these little wars And all these things Have affected You know They've affected the way that our kids Get to interact with other kids And the way that parents get to act Interact with other parents Right? That's right Yep I don't remember that happening growing up Is that Was that unique to this time?

[00:03:00] Because I don't remember it in the 90s Yeah, no I think it definitely is And you know It's about social media You remember when You know When I was growing up You know I'm older than you But even maybe when you grew up You know When I grew up We had one phone And three channels And the TV would go off at midnight You know They'd play the Star Spangled Banner TV's off And when you came home You didn't have access to your friends You know Maybe they could call you on the phone

[00:03:30] But you know As kids You know Parents Yeah Be on the phone all the time You know You actually got to be a little older Maybe you did But there was only one phone And if you called somebody And they were on the phone You'd get a Oh god I forgot all that Remember that? So what I'm saying is You know Through social media now It's 24-7 Global access Yeah So You know Everybody's looking down at their phone Unfortunately It can be in a restaurant It can be at the dinner table

[00:03:59] It could be walking through the store You notice kids Even adults So yes It's definitely Changed our culture And as you said Over the last Four years With the COVID Pandemic And other things That have been happening Culturally As you mentioned We weren't facing All these things And it definitely Is having an influence On the relationship Kids with kids

[00:04:28] Kids with parents Parents with parents Yeah For sure Yeah It's a It's like Totally Divisive in a way That I can't think of I can't think of an example Growing up Where there was a thing Like masking or not masking Vaccine or not vaccine Where It You know It would literally Break apart Or whoever Who you voted for I didn't know Anybody's political

[00:04:58] Leanings When I was a kid I didn't even know When I was an adult To be honest with you Richard When I voted for the first time I don't I didn't know I didn't look at the people In my neighborhood Lined up at the voting poll And go I know that was a Democrat I'm sure of it You know what I mean I had no clue Right And everything And I guess it does go back To that sort of social media I gotta post something So I'm gonna post this information About myself But I guess what really Surprised me about it all Is You know How much it has affected

[00:05:26] The average kid's childhood Because parents Make these weird decisions About Who they want their kids To hang out You know Well it's been a Cultural revolution And it started A long time ago You know When I was growing up This whole cultural revolution Kind of turned around America And what America stands for That's been going on For a long time Since maybe the Vietnam War And Yeah And things like that But then Then it

[00:05:56] When it really Began to influence These relationships That you're talking about Is when it got into The universities And schools And we're witnessing Now The influence Of that ideological Cultural shift Where You know Where When As you mentioned What was more important Than our family relationship You know There wasn't no Such thing as Oh you voted for that guy Oh then I don't want To talk to you Or Oh you didn't get Vaccinated

[00:06:26] Oh well then We can't be friends anymore Exactly Oh you don't wear a mask Oh well then I don't want to come Over to your house Because your parents Don't make you wear We didn't face Any of those things None of it But now They're on the forefront You know On again The ideological Media Pushing that All the time You know In our face About it And a lot of parents Buy into it Unfortunately Yeah I also am always Surprised at how much

[00:06:56] Even some of the Youngest kids Know About About Politics And about Social and cultural Things You know So like In other words It's one thing For a parent To parent Relationship To break up And say You know You did this thing That I don't agree with So your kids Are not going to hang out With my kids And they make that Silly decision Which is You know That always seems weird To be from the get go But what also is weird Is hearing Third

[00:07:26] Through Sixth grade People Talking about Political issues Social issues You know Pandemic response Issues In their Conversations with each other Like I go on My kids field trips A lot It's just like One of the things That I like to do And you'll hear That kind of weird Chatter In the bus ride And stuff like that People talk Kids Little kids My kids Third grade Talking about Political stuff You know And I'm just like

[00:07:55] I don't even know If I knew Who the president was When I was In third grade Like I don't think I just You couldn't care less It was like Where's my bike When do I get Done school And is my buddy Mikey available You know When summer vacations Start That's right Yeah That's right But yeah This is one of the Reasons why I do what I do James This I believe You know We have to sound The alarm And that's what I've been trying To do To say Mom and dad

[00:08:25] You gotta wake up Our authority Is being undermined And what I call it There's a battle For loyalty There's a daily Competition For the heart And the mind And the loyalty Of your children And what I'm telling Parents is that If you take Your loyalty The loyalty Of your children For granted That's a huge mistake These social media Influencers Are very smart And they're making Inroads Into the heart Mind And worldview

[00:08:54] Of our kids Schools Elementary schools Junior high High school Teachers And one of the Things One of the I think There was a couple Of benefits About COVID One was Some parents Got to spend More time With their kids Than they normally Did because They were so busy With work Or coming and going Maybe commuting Whatever And another Thing was They started Hearing

[00:09:24] What teachers Were teaching Their children Oh I forgot That was huge Yeah that was Huge That was huge So that was Kind of one of The Because parents Said what What are you Talking about And they kind Of woke up And then it Caused a lot Of Yeah Yeah Pretty heated School board meetings This is what I Mean rich Like do you Mind if I call You rich Nope Okay My uncle Is rich So it's like My grandfather Too

[00:09:53] But um This is what I mean It's like To lay out Kind of what's Happened in the Last five years And on the High notes Is one thing But so much Crazy stuff Has happened That has Affected the Like the Inner In the In the Four walls Is what I Always call It like Your family Like the People that Live within Your home And their Relationships So much Stuff has Happened that You can't Even You can't Even keep Up You know It's like Impossible to Keep up With it Like that That instance Right there I remember

[00:10:23] Like as Clear as Day Because I Would do My work Writing at The kitchen Table And my son Who was in Deep My oldest Son was in Third or Fourth grade At that time Did school On his Laptop So I'd Be over There Working He'd be Right there Working And I'd Hear the Teacher Explaining You know Any number Of different Things from Math to You know History And I do Remember like Going Whoa What What did He say You know That kind Of stuff

[00:10:52] That reared Its ugly Head But yeah There's just Been It's been A tidal Wave of Overwhelm And I think What you're Doing is Such a Great Call Because it's It's kind Of taking All that Stuff and Clearing it You know And saying Get back To you And the Kids Because That's What we Have to Build The bond Has to Be built There Right I believe That you Know And I Believe We're What I'm Trying to Do is Restore The importance Of the role Of mom And dad

[00:11:22] And it's Not about Everybody Else And sometimes In the Classes I'll say You know Who is The most Important Person In the Community And most Times You know Well I guess The president The politicians The pastor The priest The principal Of the school The counselor And I'm like No The police No All of those People are Important And they're all Have a purpose But you Mom and dad Are the most Important people In the Community You need To understand That the Community Is not Building your

[00:11:52] Family Your family And the way You're raising Your children Is building The community And just Restoring That Understanding That your Role as a Dad As a mom Is so Vital And I Think about This If you Think about Communities And safe Communities And thriving Communities Well It's because Of the citizens And I always Ask this question Where do the Citizens of the Community come From

[00:12:21] And if you Think about It Citizens Go to church They don't Come from Church They go To work They don't Come from Work They go To school They don't Come from Work From school Well then Where do They come From They come From our Home That's who We're raising These are our Children Yes But they Are also Citizens Citizens Of the Community And here's The question Mom and Dad What kind Of citizen Are we Sending Into the Neighborhood To the Schoolyard And ultimately

[00:12:50] As employees In the Community And that's Who we're Raising And that Focus I believe Has been Undermined From so Many Different Things And my Call Is mom And dad Let's get Back to Who you Are And the Importance Of you Building The character And your Relationship With your Kids That's Powerful Man Because That's 100% It And it's It's Tough Because you Look out Into the World

[00:13:21] Because Of social Media We have Such an Eye Into the World Like never Before And I'm Particularly Drawn to The heinous Things that Happen in The world So it's Easy for Me to Get wrapped Up in Like exactly What you're Saying except Looking at Adults You know What I mean Seeing adults Do things You can't Believe Violence You know And And that's Exactly what Comes to Mind is Like someone Took A baby

[00:13:51] And Raised it To a Certain point And sent It out Into the world And now It's Stabbing Somebody to Death on X You know What I Mean And it's Like you See the Results Of that And then When you're Raising Your own Kids You're Like Well I Definitely Gotta Make sure I don't Put one Of those Out there Like that That's Gotta be On the List Right Make sure We don't Put something Out in The world That's Gonna Do That Because Yeah And you Know parenting Is tough I mean It's not Nobody's Perfect

[00:14:20] I'm not Perfect There's no Perfect Parents But Our growth As individuals Our growth In emotional Maturity In the Curriculum That I wrote And in my Book I explain How important It is As a Parent To grow Getting Old James Getting Old Is automatic Brother I didn't Lose my Hair I didn't Try to Get gray I didn't Work real Hard to Have a Gray beard And gray Hair Sure I know I'm Getting There

[00:14:50] Automatic We get Old But we Don't Grow up Automatic And A lot Of Yeah You know Well if I'm 30 now I'm Mature Oh Not so Oh I'm Not if You don't Put in The Effort Not if You are Not Intentional About it So we In my Study My curriculum And things That I Teach I'm Saying okay Mom and Dad We have To This is A lifelong Journey Our Emotional Growth Our Emotional Intelligence

[00:15:20] Whatever You want To call It I like To call It Our Personal Maturity Level Has to Constantly Be Growing Because Here's The Problem And I've Experienced This You know I've been Doing this A long Time But when I see A 35 Year old Dad Who still Has a 15 year Old Mentality Because They Haven't Grown Up They've Grown Older But They Haven't Grown Up And Now They Have Kids And

[00:15:53] 15 Year Old Mentality Of A Parent Dealing With A 14 Year Old Daughter And That Just Causes A Lot Of Conflict Immature Ways Of Dealing With Things And It Causes A Lot Of Resentment And Different Things Like That So Again My Emphasis On Encourage Parents We Got To Grow Ourself And Constantly Be Growing So That When Our Kids Maybe Make Mistakes Like We All Do We're Dealing With Them From A Mature Response Rather Than

[00:16:23] An Immature Reaction Yeah That's That's A Good One Man That's A Good One Because You Have And You Know When You Talk About Being Being A 35 Year Old Who Has A 15 Year Old Mentality One Of My

[00:17:00] Own Life Sometimes My Son's 13 And There Are Things Where We Buttheads And It's Part Of That It's Part Of Him Being In Realms I Never Was In Growing Up And All That Kind Of Stuff Yeah That's It is All It is All Work It is All Growth And Work So What Other Things Do You Cover In Parents On A Mission Well We Have Six There's Six Basic Principles That We Teach The First One Is The Personal Growth Of

[00:17:30] The Parent And We Walk Them Through Okay If Somebody Okay Richard You Convince Me You Know I Know I Need To Grow How Do I Do That There's So Much Self Help Books And There's So Much Literature I Just Break It Down In Four Very Simple Steps And That's A whole Less Than In Itself And Then We Talk About The Proper Use Of Authority Because I Believe The Authority Of Parents Is Being Undermined Where It's Been

[00:18:21] What Kind Of Undermining Of Authority Is That And That's Happening I Could Talk All Day About That But So We Talk About The Authority Of The Parent And The Proper Use Of Authority And How To Earn Respect Not Demand But Earn Respect From Your Children Of Your Authority Then We Talk About Discipline The Proper Use Discipline The Difference Between Punishment And Discipline Because Those Are Two Different Things So We Have A Whole Lesson On That We Know You Know Discipline Can Be

[00:18:51] Controversial And That's Why I Talk About It Because Too Many Children Are Being Abused In The Name Of Discipline Sure Like No Mom And Dad That's Not Discipline That's Abuse Then We Talk About Community Building Which I About Reconciliation Principle Number Five Because All Families Have Problems My Family Has Problems You Know We Still Get Into

[00:19:21] It Once In A While That's Not The Issue The Issue Is When You Have Problems How Do You Handle It How Do You Initiate A Conversation Of Apologizing And Admitting Mistakes That So That It's A Lifelong Thing As I Shared With You A Little Bit Earlier You Know It's Wonderful Now That All My Kids Are Grown And Out Of The House But They

[00:19:51] Still Love Spending Time With Me And My Wife They Still Want To Hang Out Go On Vacation Together Loyal In Other words Yeah And A It You Know

[00:20:32] They Don't Want To Disappoint You And When They Get Out In The World In School Or Whatever You Want To Call It They Are Presented With Choices They Are Presented With Temptation And What We're Doing Is We're Building Their Character We're Giving Them Our Family Values This Is What We Believe This Is Where We Are At Of Of Of You're Going To Start Having Your Opinions When You Get A Little Bit Older

[00:21:02] But All Through Their Life You're Building Their Character Integrity Their Work Ethic Their Values Because When They Get Out There We Can't Control Them They're Out There You Know They're We Send Them To School Every Day We Send They're Out There In The Neighborhood Out There Wherever Is School Wherever So The Temptations Come The Gangs The Drugs The Sex The Pornography The So Many Options Today

[00:21:32] Yeah It My Family Values Which I Know This Is Wrong I Know My Dad Has Already Warned Me About That I Know My Mom Doesn't And It's About Loyalty Where They're Choosing Making Choices That Are Make A Course For Themself To Respect Themselves And Have

[00:22:08] That's Not To Say That You Know My Kids Make Choices That I Wish They Would Have Made Right Oh Kids Because We All Fail We All Make Choices We Regret But They're Not Choices Of Lifestyle They're Choices Of Maybe Temptation In The Moment And You Went Down That Road And Oh My God And You You You Correct It

[00:22:38] But When You Choose A Lifestyle That's A Whole Different Ballgame And That's What We Trying To Help Our Kids Avoid By Teaching Them About The Loyalty To Our Family Values And Our Ethics And Our Character Versus What Everybody Else Is Offering You Time

[00:23:08] You Know What I Mean And You Know I'm One Of Those People That I Don't Know You Don't Seem Strike Me As A Guy Like That But Maybe You Were At One Time I'm Perpetually Proving Myself To Me And Everybody And You Know That's Kind Of Do

[00:23:38] That Thing Then I'll Be Good Enough To Do That You Know How It Goes You Have That Mind In The Back Of Your Head That's Like You Got To Do One More Thing Or You Got To Get That One Thing Done So To Add Loyalty Into The Mix That That Is Kind Of Game Changer I Like That Yeah I Mean And Why I Do What I Do Not What I

[00:24:07] Do What I Do Is One Thing Why I Do It And Who I Am Is Different Than That Sure So I Know That You Know One Of The Things I Talk About In Winning Loyalty Is Being A Hero To Your Children You Know And What Does That Mean So I Just Break That Down To Three Simple Things To Be The Hero Of My Son And My Daughter Number One Is My Priorities The Choices That I Make Show Them Hey You're Important To Me I'm Going To Be There I'm Going To Show Up I'm

[00:24:37] Going To Go Out Of My Way Sometimes I You Don't Have To Be Perfect Just Honest What That Means Is When I Blow It I Look My Kids In The Eye And I Say Hey I'm Sorry I Shouldn't Talk To You

[00:25:23] Well It's Because They're Not Looking For Perfection They're Just Honesty And Owning Up When We Blow The Third Thing About Being A Hero Is Showing Up In The Time Of Crisis Yeah You Show Up I Don't Always Know What To Say I Wasn't Always Approving Of What Had Happened And I Didn't Have The Words But I Showed Up In Their Time Of Crisis And

[00:25:53] Those Kinds Of Things Cause Your Children To Be Loyal To You As Their Hero And They Can Have Other Heroes You Know I Had Heroes I Had Baseball Heroes And Football You Movie Star You Know But I I Tell Parents That's Fine But You Need To Be The Hero Of Your

[00:26:54] I heard someone else say this, so I'm not going to pretend like I thought it up, but it seems like it's a no win situation. You know what I mean? It seems like if I'm at the event because I left work early, then I left things at the undone at work. You know what I mean? So I'm letting work down. But if I stay at work and get everything done, then I'm letting the family, the kids, whatever it is down. And it's that weird, you know,

[00:27:23] just that weird situation we're in because everybody works in the house. You know what I mean? In most cases. No, that's true. Yeah, most families, you know, both parents have jobs. But I think here's the thing, and especially tough for single parents. Oh, yeah, man. Single parents. But we encourage them in this. You know, not everybody has the freedom and the luxury of being able to get off work and leave work. You want to do a good job, obviously.

[00:27:51] You don't want to, you know, slack, like you said, off of work. You've got to do a good job, and our kids understand that. But I'm talking about when they know, they say, hey, my dad's working. He's out of town. You know, I know he can't be there. But they also know when, hey, it's Saturday, and you're home, and you could have been there, but you chose not to. You chose not to. And they don't say, maybe they don't say anything. So that's what I'm talking about. There's, you know, a healthy balance.

[00:28:19] Because we can't be everywhere all the time. We can't always show up, you know, when they would like us to. That's just the reality of, you know, working and, you know, paying the bills. But what I'm just talking about is when you can, you do. And that's what they appreciate. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's, I don't even, you know, it's hard to measure it. And I'm sure it's different with every kid. But we, my oldest son had a basketball game tonight.

[00:28:49] And, you know, in all honesty, he's a football player. Basketball is like, you know, not really his favorite sport, but he jumped in on his team this year, came in late in the season. But, you know, he's 13, and we've been going to things forever. Whatever. You know, it's nothing new for that. I know that life. Yeah, it's nothing new for him, right? But, like, he scored a layup, got in, and then he got fouled after that

[00:29:16] and hit the two foul shots to put them over, you know, for what became the win. And, you know, he's 13. He's got the hair, you know, the hair that the 13 and 15 and the poof up top there, the hairdo that everybody's got. But when he does those things out there, Rich, he still looks up. You know what I mean? He looks right up at the stand still. You know, he did it when he was six years old, and he still does it.

[00:29:45] He looks up and goes, like, Mom and Dad, you saw that, right? Yeah. And it's just, you know, I don't know what the value of something like that is. And it's not like you have to be at everything, but, like, if you're there for those kind of moments, I don't know. I imagine they remember him forever, I imagine, you know. Oh, yeah. It's huge, man. And those are the kind of things I try to help parents. Don't undervalue it. Don't underestimate. Even if you didn't go, when the next time you see him,

[00:30:14] you ask him and you have a conversation. Tell me all about it. Tell me how the game went. Let me know. And just your interest, you're taking interest, you're taking time out of your whatever. You know, you might be tired or maybe you just got home from a trip or maybe you worked late. But if you had an opportunity, your son's like, wow, my dad, first thing he did when he came home, you know, greeting my mom, he came up to my room and said, hey, man, how'd it go today?

[00:30:41] You know, those kind of things, parents, you should not undervalue that because your children really, it makes such an impression on them of their worth, that they count, that they matter, and that they are a priority. Yeah, and they know too. They can smell out when you're giving them like half your attention. You know, I'm sure you've been in that position. Oh, yeah.

[00:31:07] One of my youngest, what my youngest always knows is when I'm fake laughing. Like if I'm over here working, doing my thing during the day, and he's off school or something with me and he's telling me something from the couch or from the living room, and I give him like a ha-ha. And he's like, fake laugh. He'll like call me out on it. Like he's like, you're not paying attention. You're just trying to shut me up. Fake news, dad. That's fake news. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, you mentioned like going into their world,

[00:31:37] and that's such an important thing. And I can tell you it's a willpower thing sometimes. Sometimes you've got to just like, I'm not really into what this kid's doing right now. Not that it's a bad thing, but I'm just not into it right now. But you know what? Sit the hell down and listen to them and look at them and see that they've got a fire in them about whatever it is. And it doesn't necessarily have to be your favorite thing in the world, you know, but I think my kids anyway, they've always valued that.

[00:32:06] You know, like let me sit down and you tell me about this thing. I don't know what it is. I might not get into it because we get into a lot of the same things. But, and I'm just because I have two boys, I guess I'm lucky that way. But yeah, just giving them that time. You know what I mean? That's always been valuable. Just tell me what you're into and what you're doing, you know? And so to get back to your question, those are the things that build loyalty. That's what loyalty is about.

[00:32:34] That's what it looks like is that we are showing, hey, I'm loyal to you. You know, your grades, your friends, your activities, whatever you're into. You know, like you said, maybe I'm not into it, but because you're into it, I'm going to be there for you. I'm going to support you. I'm going to back you.

[00:32:53] And part of the coaching role of parents, and you're in that role with your, both your kids now, where you're, I always tell parents, you know, once they get off into school and they're over there most of the day, we're like coaches on the sideline watching our children play in the game of life. And so I'm in that role of, so, hey, how'd it go? Or, oh yeah, well, let's talk about that. Or, you know, maybe they ask you for advice, you know, or whatever it might be. And we're coaching them along.

[00:33:21] And that's a great role to be in, especially now, like I said, with my kids who are all adults, they still ask me for advice. They'll still come to me and want to know what I think. And it could be politics. It could be faith issues. It could be friends. It could be marriage, you know, whatever. And I, you know, I really value that, that they still value, you know, my opinion.

[00:33:49] And we don't always agree. They don't always agree with my feedback. But that's okay. That's the culture I want in that I want to hear your voice. Here's my voice. And even if we don't agree, we can disagree in an agreeable manner rather than what we see going on today, which is families breaking apart. You know, not talking to each other anymore because you voted this way or you didn't get vaccinated.

[00:34:17] And all those things that have broken families apart, which that to me is very sad. No, it is very sad. So what if, do you have specific areas where you see sort of failures at the parenting level?

[00:34:34] You know, like, like areas that stick out to you that you see in modern day consistently over time where parents are just kind of, you know, if you tweak that or, you know, get off the phone, pay attention. You know, are there areas like that that stick out in your head nowadays?

[00:34:52] Well, I think I go back to, I think it really, the main thing is, is working on ourself, you know, always working on ourself to get better, to grow our mind, grow our heart, grow our spirit, grow other, in other words, our emotional maturity. Yeah. I see a lot of parents, they just flatline, you know, they, they're, you're, you're growing, growing, growing.

[00:35:17] But then somewhere, I don't know whether it's 25 or 30, whatever, they just stop growing. And that, again, if you don't have that emotional maturity, when, when the pressure comes, whether it could be your daughter got pregnant, you know, they got married, I'll surprised you, lost money, lost their job, got in a car wreck, wrecked your car. You know, these are the pressures of life. And it's how we handle those things.

[00:35:46] And again, I haven't always handled it perfectly. But, but I've grown and gotten better and better and better. And that, that, so that to me is very important. The other thing is, you know, we need to be a better example of, on social media. You know, again, I see a lot of parents complaining about their children's screen time.

[00:36:09] But they're just following the example of their mom and dad who are always also looking down at the phone. Like you said, you know, your child's trying to talk to you. And yet, you know, you're scrolling through and you're really not listening to them. In your case, you weren't doing that. But it's the same thing. Oh, we're all guilty of it. Uh-huh. Yeah. Definitely. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But we're really not, you know. So that's an area.

[00:36:34] Then the other, the other thing I got to say too is, is how we're disciplining our children. You know, the balance between, you know, some parents are too permissive where, you know, let kids do whatever they want, say whatever they want, just do whatever you want. That's permissive parenting. Then the authoritarian parent where there is so strict, dictator, be quiet. I don't want to hear your opinion. Just do what I say and that's it. You know, that's kind of the way I was raised.

[00:37:03] And being able to find that middle ground, it's called authoritative parenting. I mean, authoritarian parenting is very dictator. Permissive parenting is, you know, let them do whatever they want. But authoritative parenting, you're building that happy medium where you have a culture of, okay, you have a voice. Tell me what's going on. Giving them nurture, giving them affection, but also giving them discipline and enforcing the family house rules, whatever those might be.

[00:37:32] You know, do your chores. Don't talk back to me. Don't talk to your sister that way. Those kinds of things. And finding that middle ground, that's a big area where I see, I try to coach parents like, you know, let's just be honest about maybe we're a little too authoritarian or maybe we're a little too permissive. So let's work on finding that middle ground. Yeah. For the permissive parents out there, we have to parent your kids.

[00:38:01] I hate the permissively parented kids. That's right. They wind up at your house or in your car and you're like, what are you saying back there? You know, I don't say that kind of stuff. Yeah. That's true. I mean, I've experienced more than one of those kids. And a lot of times they've really got like great potential too, you know, and you just get to the point where you're like, I don't know if I want him to come over today, man. He's such a handful. Yeah.

[00:38:30] You know, it's true. It's very true. Yeah. That's a rough one. How do you help people get over the hump or, or so the clients come to you or is there like, I don't know, I don't want to call it leads, but the thing that you're doing that is interesting to me is in order for me to get to Richard, I've got to say to myself, I'm kind of messing up. You know what I mean? Like I need to improve.

[00:38:58] And I feel like this day and age, that's such a tough hill for people to get up. Like nobody wants to admit, you know what I mean? I need to be better. I'm not doing this right. Or I'm screwing up, you know? And I, how do you find those people? Do they find you? Both. I mean, that's one way of looking at it. Here's how I put it. James, I say it this way. Parents on a mission is not for bad parents. Parents on a, that's a myth.

[00:39:26] That parenting classes are for bad parents. That's not what I believe. I believe parents on a mission is for good parents who want to get better. It's just like any profession. Professional lawyers, doctors, pastors, teachers, they go to conferences, they buy online courses, they buy books. Why? Because they're bad? No. They're good professionals, but they want to get better and keep improving and stay relevant with the latest thing.

[00:39:55] Imagine going to a mechanic today when now all of our cars are computerized. And I remember when we were kids, you could work on cars and take them apart and learn how to do different things. But nowadays, forget about it. But a mechanic, they got to stay up to date with what's going on. And it's the same thing. Why should our kids expect anything less from us when we're dealing with social issues?

[00:40:21] So our working on ourself is through the parenting classes, which we call Parents on a Mission. So that's the message I put out. Now, what I do, I train. I have a certification three-day training course where I certify parent mentors. And then they take my curriculum. It's a whole curriculum.

[00:40:44] The book is there for people to read it if they can't find a class because obviously we don't have a class in every city, every state, you know, in the country. So somebody could buy the book and read it on their own. But I have trained people all over the country and in other countries. So what they do, once they've certified them, then they take the curriculum and then they already have relationship with parents. So usually I'm training staff members of jails, prisons, churches, nonprofits, and school districts.

[00:41:15] That's quite the – yeah, that's a group right there. They have parent relationships of trust. Yeah, that makes sense. They have a support group that meets every week, once a week, for a couple hours, and then they go through the curriculum. And that could be eight weeks. It could be six weeks. It could be ten weeks. I leave that up to the parent mentor that I've trained. That's up to them and up to their parent group.

[00:41:42] So the other thing, people can go to my website, richardrramos.com. Don't forget my middle initial, richardrramos.com. And they could get the book there. They can get a free chapter if they want to check it out. There's some videos there as well. And so it's both people refer people, word of mouth, podcasts like this gets the word out. So I really appreciate you having me on tonight.

[00:42:12] Oh, yeah, man. And look, guys, it's linked right down there in the show description, whether you're on YouTube, whether you're on Rumble. Once the podcast goes to audio, which will probably be tomorrow morning, it'll be down in the show description. So if you want to check out the book Parents on a Mission or all the other things that you got going on, the mentorship idea is brilliant, man. You know, I can't be everywhere, but I can get some people who can be everywhere. I like that.

[00:42:38] That's why I started doing it, because I said, man, I'm just one dude. And if I could just get more people to share this information with parents in a very casual way, a very non-condemning way, non-blaming way. I always tell parents, we are not blaming you, mom and dad, for everything. But we are naming you the number one asset in the community. That's who you are. And then we just want to build it from there. Yeah, I love it, man.

[00:43:05] I really appreciate you coming on and doing this sort of, I mean, it's a topic for all, but it's a topic here at PBN that we don't really delve into very often. And like I said, you're kind of kicking off this new wave of interviews for us. So I appreciate it. The only thing I wish I'd checked earlier is where my eyes fall, because I'm like, my camera's too high. I feel like I'm looking down at the keyboard the whole time, but I'm just looking at you and my computer screen. I'll have to fix that.

[00:43:34] Yeah, well, I'm just looking at the camera too, man. But listen, I really appreciate you having me on. And I will say this also. I'm writing another book right now for blended families, because that's a huge topic. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Step kids. I told you, I'm a stepdad. I've been a stepdad for many years. Yeah. Writing a book called The Art of Step Parenting, How to Blend Families Without Tearing Them Apart.

[00:44:04] And when I get that done, I hope I can reach out to you. Oh, please. Talk about that next time. Please. I mean, we have hosts here on PBN who are in blended families. I'm sure they would love to take a look at it also, because that's, yeah, that's a whole nother can of worms. Much respect. Much respect. Much respect to you, man. Because, yeah, that's a whole nother thing. And look, at the end of the day, they're parents, right? You're the parents of those kids.

[00:44:32] Society looks at you that way. They have the same expectations of you. Yeah. That's a great topic, man. I'm sure you're having a blast putting that together. Yeah, it's been work. Writing is always work, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, all right, my man. I appreciate it. Thanks so much for coming on. And definitely reach out to us. Let us know when the next book's ready to go. Because everybody's a parent that listens to our net.

[00:45:00] I don't think we have too many people who aren't that I could think of off the top. Some, a handful of pretty important people here or not. But the vast majority. You know what I mean? We're all in this battle to pump something out we can be proud of. That's right. Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for having me. Thank you, sir. I'll talk to you soon. See ya. Okay. All right, PBN family. I hope you enjoyed it. This is a thing that we're going to do going forward. There's just a tremendous amount of awesome people out there in the world.

[00:45:30] And why not? Right? I hope you enjoyed Rich. Check out his website. And like I said, I think the analogy of the night is what he does is not for bad parents. It's for parents who want to get better. Right? You take TCCC classes not because you don't know how to put a tourniquet on. You just want to get faster at it, get better at it. You take firearms training classes. You know, wilderness survival, bushcraft stuff. Not because you don't know what you're doing. But because you want to get better at it. Right?

[00:46:00] I'll see you guys tomorrow morning for PBN Daily News. Thanks so much. And, you know, we appreciate you. No ads tonight. Just enjoy the show. We got plenty in the morning. Links down in the description though. All right? Thanks so much, guys. See you tomorrow.

[00:46:32] Okay.